Kids Say And Do The Darnedest Things.

[ralerin]

What sort of random creepy and cute things have kids said/done to you or that you've overheard at work or elsewhere?

1. Dad and his little girl, about 2 years old are in the dog aisle and Dad is talking and asking the little girl questions, like "Oooh, what should we get for mommy? What about Frankie (I guess the dog?)? What would Frankie like? What would you like to get them both?"

All of a sudden the little girl says, "I GOT GAS!"

Dad says, "You got gas? Oh that's great!"

Me and about half the people in the pharmacy start cracking up.

2. Little girl and her mother are at the counter and Mom is buying cigarettes and pays with debit. At Aid of Rite, before you swipe your card, there's a bunch of blue arrows that light up on the side where you swipe it to let you know it's ready to be swiped. Little girl looks at the blue arrows and says, "MOMMY I'M SCARED OF THE LIGHTS!" and nothing else. Mom pays for her Marlboros and they leave.

What the heck?

[fireheart]

I think I've mentioned the kid story in here somewhere, but my kids say the darndest things story is this:

Mum and 2/3-year-old come up to my line (I'm willing to bet 4 maybe) with a small assortment. Mum pays for goods and then the daughter cries out to her mum "Mummy, the doggie's got a headache!"

Now what made me and the mum crack up was that the "doggie" she was referring to is plastic. Most people tend to stick coins in it and it goes to the Guide Dog society. Kids go apeshit over it and will usually beg mummy/daddy for some loose change to stick in the dog.
Kids logic is that because the dog has a slot in it's head, it needs to have money put in it.

And what made me afterwards was that the dog's nose has been smashed in and she didn't complain about that!

[Victoria J]

I'm going to completely cheat and tell a story about a child I know making someone else laugh while they were working.

I've probably mentioned before I have a half sister who is much much younger than me. She's currently 8 but this is an old story.

This was back when she was just walking rather than toddling. I was with her and my father and we we're walking down the road in a fairly busy part of central London. All of a sudden she went rushing off - running as fast as she could manage (in that slightly tilted way that leaves you wondering how they don't fall over) shouting "Look ! Look" as if she'd just seen the most amazing thing ever.

So we hurry up (and start getting a bit worried as she's running out of pavement) and she stops by the last shop in the row, where the big shop window is being cleaned.

"Look ! A man shaving a window" she said in absolute aw.

I think she made the squeegee man's day (he just managed not to laugh at her)

My little sister is (at least since she has reached the age where she understands "money" and no longer has to be tackled to avoid her leaving stores with chocolate boxes) the very opposite of a sucky customer. I'm pretty proud of her.

Her most frequent act of disobedience was that she just would not stop "helping" the workers in cafes etc. She wanted to carry plates into the kitchen and rush off with every bit of rubbish so it can be put away (which can cause it's own problems as we try and teach her both that she can't go in some areas and that sometimes it's more helpful to let people do things in her own time). At our most frequent cafe she is always allowed to write the order on the waitresses pad. She bonded with the waitress, and went from rushing over and giving her a hug the day she looked like she was having a bad day to this year them each ringing each other on their birthday. I'm very proud of her (she is a very thoughtful and kind child).

We did however somewhat scare people in another cafe - if we have lots of sitting around and waiting time we try to do something rather than let her get bored. We either draw or we play guessing games etc. There's one game where we ask questions and try and guess what the other person's thinking. A less fixed animal vegetable mineral.

People get a bit disconcerted when she tries to guess "God dead in a box". It's one of those things that evolved. A mixture of the time she baffled us for half an hour as we tried to guess her famous dead person before realising she meant God (we think she was confused because he's in heaven with dead people*), and the time I was thinking of a skeleton in a coffin and they spent ages guessing different things in boxes. We always guess that when we're stuck but she's loud.

Her religious education may be lacking She goes to a school where they teach her vaguely religious things but has parent's who avoid the subject partly because neither of them knows what the other believes and they don't want to cause problems.

This is probably also why she once pointed at a church and asked if that's where the giraffes live

Victoria J

*We're ruling out that she's been reading Nietzche

[dalesys]

My 5-year-old niece came running in.

"Gramma, where's that Sparky dog?"
"We don't have a dog, why?"
"I need him to bite that boy out there!"
(her cousin)

[Lala]

I work in a deli in a grocery store, and there’s one kid who comes in weekly with his father. In the past he’s amused us by barking instead of speaking.

Then there was the time I reached into the meat case to grab something just in time to see him plaster himself to the glass, cheek smooshed flat, and then slide slooooooowly down the length of it.

About two weeks ago they were in again, and he entertained himself by singing “we are family, hey, HEY, HEY! Get up everybody and sing.” Apparently that’s the only part he knew, so he just sang over and over with different tones and inflections. My manager was crouched behing a counter filling it and was trying desperately not to laugh at him.

[AnaKhouri]

Once when I worked at a video rental place this little kid was talking to me as I was checking out his Mom. He asked all kinds of questions. "What's your name?" "What are you doing?" "How old are you?" and finally, "Where do you live?"

My co-workers joked that I would go home and find a stalker note on my door in crayon.

[bookishfreak]

There is this mother and two sons that shop at my store almost every day. One Alex is twelve and Patrick is six. Well Patrick looks JUST LIKE Jonathan Lipnicki from Jerry McGuire..right down to the voice. One they came in and Patrick just comes up to me and goes "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" and his mom was like "Pat, it's august." and then he goes "It's a happy Bank of america day!" I seriously love those two kids.

[hecubus]

My dad told me a great one that he witnessed at a grocery store one time. My dad was resting on a bench near the front of the store while my mom finished shopping (he had a stroke a few years ago, and can't stand or walk that well). Said bench was located right outside the restrooms.

A woman went into the ladies room with her son, not necessarily a bad thing, except this kid was about 7 or 8 years old; a little old to be going into the ladies room with mom. Anyway, the mom and son were in the restroom for a few minutes, and then walked out together. Apparently, the kid had been doing some peeking under the stall walls,because, as the two of them passed my dad, the kid turned to his mom and said:

"Mom, why did that lady have a beard down there?

The mother turned red and quickly ushered the kid out of the store, as my dad practically fell off the bench laughing.

[fireheart]

My dad told me a great one that he witnessed at a grocery store one time. My dad was resting on a bench near the front of the store while my mom finished shopping (he had a stroke a few years ago, and can't stand or walk that well). Said bench was located right outside the restrooms.

A woman went into the ladies room with her son, not necessarily a bad thing, except this kid was about 7 or 8 years old; a little old to be going into the ladies room with mom. Anyway, the mom and son were in the restroom for a few minutes, and then walked out together. Apparently, the kid had been doing some peeking under the stall walls,because, as the two of them passed my dad, the kid turned to his mom and said:

"Mom, why did that lady have a beard down there?

The mother turned red and quickly ushered the kid out of the store, as my dad practically fell off the bench laughing.

uhh....she's a bearded lady?

[cinema guy]

Not an at-work story, but a tale told by a co-worker.

R: Co-worker
S: R's daughter (aged 5 ish)
M: R's son (aged 4ish)
T: R's husband

R's grandma had died. That evening, T tried to explain to the kiddies why R was upset.

T: Mummy is sad because her grandma has died.
S: She was my grandma too, so I'm sad too. (she was S's great grandmother).
T: Grandma has gone to heaven.
S: Can I say a prayer for her tonight.
R: Yes of course.
S: Will she hear it in heaven?
R: Yes she will.
M: Can we send her an email?

[Primer]

When I was 3, I went with my Mom to have some work done on her car. The mechanic gave me a toy car, and my Mom prompted me, "What do you say?" I piped up, "Charge it!"