Paging Dr. Gravekeeper [Epic]

apple_dumplins · #1 03-24-2009, 04:44 AM

it was all i could do not to start the account notes with 'wherein i....'

like my esteemed colleague, i work taking orders on the phone for a rewards program with a credit card company. recently, i took a man's order and was baffled by how much it reminded me of the posts i spend my lunch break reading.

Me: Thank you for calling <credit card company>, how may i help you?
SC: I wanna place an order. For hats!
Me: ....
SC: I need six hats.
Me: alright....six hats. can i have the product id code please?
(three and a half minutes of shuffling and mumbling ensues before he gives me an order number that doesn't match anything in our catalog)
Me: Alright, well that doesn't seem to be an active piece of merchandise. Is that from our latest catalog?
SC: Nope. This is your 2007 catalog.
(i check our catalog of previous merchandise, hoping to be able to end the call with the simple explanation that the merchandise is no longer available. no such luck of course, as it isn't there either)
Me: Now are you sure this is one of our catalogs?
SC: Yep. It says <credit card company> right here on the front of it.
Me: Is that all it says?
SC: Yeah
Me: Is there anything else at all. Special instructions, or a url or phone number?
SC: Oh wait....it says 'Rewards Program for the <credit card company> Golf Card'
*lightbulb*
Me: Well sir, i see we've been in contact with you since november letting you know that that particular card was being canceled and that any credit left on your program would be moved over to our general program.
SC: Yep
Me: And you were notified that the deadline to use the points for the golf rewards was three days ago?
SC: Yeah...
Me: ....
SC: so?
Me: Well sir, that means that the credits on your card have been moved to our general program and are no longer eligible to be traded in for the caps you're requesting.

long story short, SC goes BONKERS. it seems "somebody else" from the always elusive 'other department' told him we'd extend the deadline. which is odd, seeing as how the only other department equipped to deal with this whole mess had been sending us almost daily emails reminding us not to offer a deadline extension, probably due to the fact that orders would be systematically impossible once the deadline passed.

so lets break this down:

annoying phone order...check
request for a suspiciously large number of caps....check
expired catalog from outdated program....double check
call placed well after deadline....checkeroo
total disregard for logic and a lack of even the most basic ability to reason and except a logical answer.....yeah....

so help me god i actually checked to see if this guy was calling from an 867 number...

SG15Z · #2 03-24-2009, 05:08 AM

Oh the dreaded 867....

I'm so sorries.

And

to

Irving Patrick Freleigh · #3 03-24-2009, 09:32 AM

Needs more pink camo.

Locksmith_from_Hell · #4 03-24-2009, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh

Needs more pink camo.

Puh-leeeeaassseee....

IPF, you now know how to get me reaching for the

I have been trying to avoid all things pink because of GKs posts, and thankfully, he hasn't posted any camo stuff for a couple of weeks. Then you come along and ruin my good luck streak.

BTW, welcome to CS.com Apple!

calulu · #5 03-24-2009, 11:11 AM

Ha! The dreaded 867? The majority of my suckier calls originate from the dreaded 781..

smileyeagle1021 · #6 03-24-2009, 01:25 PM

I don't have the luxury of caller ID at work... just the trunk line in use when I answer the phone... oddly enough number 7 seems to be very unlucky... nothing good has ever happened when I'm using line 7.
For guests in front of me the more rural their zip code the riskier they are... their either the easiest impressed guests or the hardest to please. They always either in awe of the city (how sad is that when Salt Lake causes aw?... what, I used to have a roommate when I lived in Logan who's family was awed by the size of Logan... if you have never heard of Logan, you are in good company, half the people in Utah probably haven't even heard of it) and anything in the city just amazes them, or they are terrified of and despise the city and anything in it is evil and should be eliminated... those are the two extremes, most are normal people, but those two extremes both me to know end.

chainedbarista · #7 03-24-2009, 05:45 PM

master freleigh sayeth:

Quote:

Needs more pink camo.

that way, the polar bears can find him easier...

Red_Dazes · #8 03-24-2009, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh

Needs more pink camo.

Like I need a hole in the head........ *shudders* I'm still so afraid that one day I'll look out the window and see it.... so afraid....

Irving Patrick Freleigh · #9 03-24-2009, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Quoth Red_Dazes

Like I need a hole in the head........ *shudders* I'm still so afraid that one day I'll look out the window and see it.... so afraid....

I've seen it several times, unfortunately. Most recently last weekend.

A little girl, couldn't have been older than 7 or 8, wearing sweatpants with something printed on the ass, clogs, and...a pink camo fleece jacket.

I'm sorry her parents evidently hate her that much.

PepperElf · #10 03-24-2009, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh

Needs more pink camo.

i don't suppose they were trying to order pink camo caps?