Guy calls up the other day. Well, just best to let you read the script:
Me: Thank you for calling such-and-such. This is Wade, how may I help you, today?
SC: Yeah, I got a notice from the DMV saying they're gonna suspend my registration 'cause I don't have insurance!
Now, if you've read my previous postings/threads, you know this is a HUGE issue in the state of Nevada. Their DMV is notorious for doing this, even if you haven't lapsed your coverage at all.
Me: Okay, I can help you with that. May I please have your policy number?
SC: I don't have it - you're gonna have to look it up for me!
This is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine, 'cause it happens constantly. Fortunately, I could search this guy's name (not a very common name) and find him, but I've had alot of "John Smiths" call up without their policy number, and five million people pop up in my screen. Of course, it turns into MY fault I can't find their policy number, but I digress.
So, up blips the guy's info.
Me: Okay, did you receive a certified letter, or a postcard?
SC: Certified letter.
Me: Okay, if you could please provide me the article number -
SC: What's that?
Me: It's a 20-digit number that usually starts with "7113."
SC: I can't find it! Where is it?
Me: It should be near the top of the letter, possibly on the front, possibly on the back -
SC: I don't have the letter in front of me!
Okay, seriously? You're calling for help and you don't have all the information? Do you go to the doctor and say you have pain but when they ask where reply, "I don't know - you tell me!"
So, I convince him it's absolutely necessary to obtain that number (which is true - the DMV just revised their policies and we HAVe to provide that article number so they can correctly match it up with the proper vehicle).
SC: Why does this happen EVERY year!?!
Me: I don't know, sir, but what I can do for you is go ahead and submit the request to have this cleared up for you.
SC: I've had to drive clear across town EVERY YEAR to visit my agent to get this resolved!
Sure, three hundred miles, uphill, in the snow, stopping to kill a grizzly bear with your loose-leaf notebook. I'm impressed. Yet, this year you figured out how to dial a telephone. Congrats - have a drink on me.
At this point he starts rambling. I remain calm and silent, dropping in the occasional "Yes, sir," and "Of course." Goes on and on and on and on and on about how he's a senior citizen, he switched from a California policy and NEVER had this problem (welcome to the Great State of Nevada, dumbass), he doesn't need this, he's disabled, blah-blah-blah, !!!ELEVENTY!!!
Now, usually allowing customers to vent calms them down, but not this guy. He was actually talking himself deeper and deeper into his own personal furry, spiralling into the descent of childlike insanity.
SC: I WANT TO TALK TO A SUPERVISOR!!!
WTF? Really? I mean, I've been nothing but polite and helpful, even borderlining on respectful (
) and it's still just not good enough?
Me: Well, I'll be happy to try and locate one for you, sir, but as I've explained I'm working to resolve the issue, and it will be taken care of.
SC: I WANT TO TALK TO A SUPERVISOR!!!
Me: Okay, hold just one minute.
Off I go to locate a Master Of My Universe. Of course, they're all in meetings. Lovely.
Me: Okay, sir, unfortunately the supervisors are all in meetings right now, but I can have one contact you as soon as they are available.
SC: !!!ELEVENTY!!! And thusly launches into the second wave of shock-and-awe only understood by illogical entitlement whores and AIG Insurance Executives.
Ultimately, I convinced him a supervisor would call him back.
Seriously, why do customers rant on and on about irrelevant things? You've stated your problem, I've offered a solution. Your financial matters, social woes, prostate problems, and other snippets of "too much information" are completely irrelevant.