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Wherein I get serious for a moment (long)
Old 04-09-2009, 04:52 AM
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fireheart fireheart is offline
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Default Wherein I get serious for a moment (long)

Hi all,

I thought I'd share a little bit of background about me as you've all been so wonderful the past year or so. I originally joined this board when I was going through a rough time and this is the story I'd like to share:

For the first 6 months at uni, I went through the typical transition problems, but I went through those with two people I considered to be my friends. One of these I knew from a bus route that we shared and like me, his friends were everywhere else but where he was, while the other person we both met during orientation. These two were anything but my friends. It started out OK, at the time, I'd just found a guy, then discovered the only thing he wanted was sex. In other words, a "date, f and dump". One of them comforted me and the other tried to offer support. This I think is where our relationship went downhill.

After that, I was used for sexual favours (one of them was quite a smooth talker) and had everything I believed in turned against me (claiming that they were right and that everything I believed in was wrong, that I secretly "craved right-wing c" and other things). They claimed to be helping me through "tough love" and saving me from my "controlling" parents (that was a lie-well partially, while mum can be a bit helicopter-ish at times, both then and now she's died down a bit) and the media. The main problem arose though, was that after a while I thought they were right, that they were helping me. Eventually, it degraded to the point where I'd been having some problems, I'd met another guy and we were dating and I was still going to "them" for help. Their response? "Go and talk to your boyfriend." Whenever i had a rough problem and wanted to go to counselling for it (especially with my family issues), their response? "Counselling is a waste of time, it won't help you."

After that, I broke off all contact with them. Facebook, MSN, everything. I almost considered going to the police, but what for exactly? I still kept copies of the chat logs from MSN in case something DID crop up, but those have now pretty much been wiped. I sought counselling from the university and they were wonderful with that and helping me out with some other issues. I eventually stopped going to them but remained on medication until just recently.

I thought I was over them, but guess what? I can't even LOOK at them anymore without having a flashback to what happened between us. They're still at my university, but not in my classes (thank God). If anything, they were degrading me (calling me "schnookums" when I asked them to stop, even in public and creating a Facebook group about it too) and guess how old they were? 18 and 20. Legal adults. Who if anything, should know better.

I'm not necessarily writing this for sympathy, but just to explain some of my background to you guys and part of the reason why I joined CS.com. Thank you guys for listening.
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

Now queen of USSR-Land...

Old 04-09-2009, 05:26 AM
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RootedPhoenix RootedPhoenix is offline
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How rotten of them! Legal adults should be better than that crap.

*hug* Glad you came here!
1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
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Old 04-09-2009, 06:40 AM
Amethyst Hunter Amethyst Hunter is offline
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I have a chainsaw and a HELL of a lot of empty open farmland. Just sayin'.

I'm glad you were able to get out of that rotten situation.
~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

Old 04-09-2009, 01:38 PM
SengaKitty SengaKitty is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Where ever I lay my head
Posts: 121

x1,000,000 Honey, I recently got out of an abusive relationship (I say recently, even though it was a year ago... It feels like just yesterday some days). I've been through hell and back, and if you need and empathetic ear, or just a shoulder to cry on, I'm here any time.

I'm VERY proud of you for getting out of that situation, and seeking help from a counselor, and even just for coming here and telling us your story. Sometimes just the telling of the story is the hardest thing to do, but it's often very healing.

Old 04-09-2009, 02:01 PM
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Nurian Nurian is offline
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Location: An island of blue in a sea of red
Posts: 542

People like that aren't adults except in the legal sense. I'm glad you got help and you should be proud of your progress.
I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

Old 04-09-2009, 02:17 PM
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artifical sweetner artifical sweetner is offline
i'm full of artifical sweetner
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: central New Jersey
Posts: 158

guys suck but i'm glad you sought out counseling

Old 04-10-2009, 01:34 AM
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Eric the Grey Eric the Grey is offline
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Location: Denver, CO
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Quoth artifical sweetner View Post
guys suck but i'm glad you sought out counseling
Yea, we do. Some of us more than others.

Fireheart, I'm sorry you went through this. Rest assured that not all of us are bad seeds.

Eric the Grey
In memory of Dena - Don't Drink and Drive

Old 04-10-2009, 02:02 AM
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lupo pazzesco lupo pazzesco is offline
Mad Hatter(complete with tea!)
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
Posts: 1,450

<HUGS!> and cookies, for good measure. I swiped 'em from EQ, so you know they're good.

Fireheart, that fact that you broke it off and sought help speaks volumes to your strength, and I, for one, am awed. I know people in situations much like yours who are still caught in the cycle, and which is heart-breaking to see.

Either way, I'm quite thrilled that you ended up here at CS.com. And that you're my minion 25% of the time...speaking of which... it IS a major holiday this weekend...so you're mine!!


Old 04-10-2009, 02:12 AM
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McGoddess09 McGoddess09 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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I'm glad you joined.

And you're not alone. Stuff like that happened to me too, except I didn't have facebook groups dedicated to me or anything like that.

Guys are assholes...well, some more than others anyway.
"Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

I belly dance with tall Goblins!

Old 04-10-2009, 07:01 AM
fireheart's Avatar
fireheart fireheart is offline
The Christmas Tree Ninja!
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,617

Thanks for all the support everyone. Not all guys are assholes I know, but I'm still a little apprehensive about some of them.
I thought I was going to go OK without counselling or medication, but lately I keep running into them, so for me, I'm considering going back into counselling just to deal with it.
My parents don't know the full story, they just think that we had a fight and left it at that.
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

Now queen of USSR-Land...
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