Back on the Market

[AdminAssistant]

Single, again. hm.

Ended it with BT tonight....something I should've done a long time ago. I told him that we weren't spending enough time with each other, everything revolved around him....and he said he was just too career focused, couldn't do a serious relationship right now. He did apologize, and said he understood how I felt. Actually what happened is that I said, "we should take some time" and he agreed. Maybe something will happen later, most likely it won't.

I've never broke up with someone. It feels just as crappy as being dumped does.

More later....I texted a friend and she's dragging taking me out for a drink.

*sigh*

[BookstoreEscapee]

I've never broke up with someone. It feels just as crappy as being dumped does.

Yes, yes it does.

[tropicsgoddess]

Yep, sure does...

[AdminAssistant]

Thanks, guys.

My friend The Tall Blonde (TTB) met me for a drink...it was so much fun. She's pretty tall, thin, with an amazing rack. She's also perfected the art of flirting with men...needless to say, neither of us paid for any of our drinks. There was a guy that was trying so hard to get with her...actually a very nice guy. Old enough to be my dad, but ok. (TTB is around 40. She does not look 40, but she's obviously a bit older than me. She also has no qualms about her age.)

I actually feel...okay. I have to go over to his place to pick up some CD's and DVD's that I'd left over there, and I need to take a couple of things to him. I wish it would've worked out better...but he is such the confirmed bachelor, doesn't want to change a thing to accomodate a new person into his life. It hurts, somewhat, that he didn't even try to change my mind or talk me into staying. But at least I know that it wasn't me...he doesn't want a real relationship with anybody.

ETA: I've also realized how much my health will improve...no more inhaling second-hand smoke for hours on end, probably drink less now. No more fluffy kitty to get my eyes all red and itchy (I'll actually miss the kitty, but he did make my eyes and sinuses unhappy). No more having to strip, shower, and do laundry as soon as I get home so I don't reek of smoke.

[Jester]

Personally, I have usually felt worse after dumping someone than after being dumped (with some notable exceptions). It's not fun. It sucks. Hell, I dare say it sucks even more than being single....which honestly, I am not overly fond of these days.

That being said, it is almost predictable that I am going to meet someone and fall badly.....when I am back home in Phoenix. You know....where I don't live?

[Peppergirl]

I've only gotten my heart broken once (oddly, not my 15 year marriage though), and it was a mutual thing on the dumper/dumpee part. I wouldnt wish it on ANYONE.

I'm at a place in my life where I actually ENJOY being alone and the thought of dating actually makes me shiver, and not in a good way.

Being alone has it's good points. It leaves time for introspection and figuring out what you want and don't want.

Take all the time you need to heal and move forward. We're here if you need us!

[AdminAssistant]

So...today I started feeling mopey, down, just BLAH freakin BLAH. Which sucks, because I have so much work to do, and I just can't do any of it. I forced myself to get through some of my French translation, but I haven't been nearly as productive as I needed to be.

I had to go to his place to pick up some CD's and movies I'd left over there, and to take him some movies I'd borrowed. He didn't even get out of his chair. He barely looked at me. I gathered my stuff, stood up to go, and looked at him and said, "Well?" He just said, "Yeah, talk to you later". The amount of absolute apathy just kills me. I mean, I really try to think of myself as a pretty fan-freakin'-tastic person...funny, smart, cute, etc. But...the fact that I told him everything that was going wrong, and he said that he didn't think he could change, at least not now, and just...let me leave without so much as a freakin' word! Or a tiny little trace that he was just a teeny bit sad or upset or pissed? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! I mean, at least be bummed that you aren't going to get laid with the same frequency anymore (unless he has another woman in his back pocket).

*sigh* So, right now, my self-esteem is in the shitter, I'm somehow managing to blame all of this on me, and I just feel like crap. I've been eating junk food all weekend, just laying around when I should go outside and enjoy the weather...grrr.

[Shpepper]

Do not let yourself blame this all on you. I can tell you from past experience that his attitude was typical of a guy. He is trying to make it seem that nothing can hurt him and that what happened doesn't matter. The cooler they try to be, I've found, the worse they actually feel.


Tips for cheering ones self up:

Ice Cream
Get out that favorite outfit that you almost never wear and wear it to the grocery store or to class or even just around the house.
Treat yourself to something nice. Even if it's a walk in your favorite park or some window shopping.

Try not to let the crap get you down. You can do it.

[RootedPhoenix]

*offers comfort and gummy bears*

When my ex broke up with me I ate a 5 pound bag of the things in two or three days. I don't know how I did that or how I survived doing so. But it hurts to just be single again.

*offers many many hugs* We're all here for you.

[Kiwi]

Or a tiny little trace that he was just a teeny bit sad or upset or pissed?

Well I wasn't there obviously but that almost sounds like...he was feeling something but he sure as shit was NOT going to show you. If he was so staunch and so macho about it then it makes me suspicious.

I'm sorry the relationships over, but happy that you will be healthier and from the sounds of it happier after you get through the yuck part. Try to focus on you and forget about him.

Be kind to yourself, lots of fresh air and fun are just the ticket.

[AdminAssistant]

Well I wasn't there obviously but that almost sounds like...he was feeling something but he sure as shit was NOT going to show you. If he was so staunch and so macho about it then it makes me suspicious.

It could be...he was just so blase through the whole thing, like he didn't even care. Which was the problem in the first place, I felt like he didn't give a damn about me. He just said, basically, well, I don't have the time or energy to be in a serious relationship right now, maybe later.

*sigh* But it still sucks. I know why I'm so down and irritable this weekend, I didn't get any of that free time, time to just chill and relax and watch TV and play with the kitty and..well...you know. And my friends up here are all so incredibly busy with papers and projects and grading and...well...Grad School.

Thanks a ton, guys. I'm trying not to dump too much of the angst (angstangstangst) on people...

[Kiwi]

It could be...he was just so blase through the whole thing, like he didn't even care. Which was the problem in the first place, I felt like he didn't give a damn about me

Feel free to dump/rant/vent whatever you need thats what we are here for.

He must be a very sad person to not have time or energy to be in a relationship, what a sad waste of space. You deserve much better than that Admin and you know it.

Good on you for breaking off a toxic relationship before it effected you even more. One of K's friends was so addicted to wow he had a girlfriend of seven years breakup with him. She got so sick of coming second and one day he had been playing for a few hours, got up to have sex with her and afterwards went straight back on the computer and she dumped him. He barely looked up from the screen.... he's been single ever since (well over 3 years now).

Try not to let his failings at life bring you down.

[Akasa]

Dump away. Its called processing. I've been in a relationship like that and its wearing. It makes you devalue yourself.