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Today was the last of my days off for some time to come. I decided it was time to bite the bullet and venture into the land of sucky customers and shop for some new work clothes.
My adventure started innocently enough, on my part anyway. Since I don't get time off very often, and shop even less so, the potential folly of my first destination didn't occur to me at first. As some of you are aware, I work with a rescue and foster cats & kittens. I had obtained a coupon for free kitten food, that I knew was available at the local Wal-Mart. As I pulled into the parking lot, the realization washed over me like a rogue wave on the Bearing Sea (sorry just been watching an episode of the Deadliest Catch
). I barely navigated myself into a parking spot without leaping from the car to beat some incompetent fuckwit to death with my bare hands. Gods how I hate the troglodytes that shop at Wal-Mart, and the fact that these creatures somehow are able to obtain vehicles in which to torment me with. 
There is only one thing worse than a Wal-Mart customer driving. That is a WM customer walking, or more aptly, lumbering through the crowded aisles meandering here and there, always cutting off my line of motion. I obtained my kitten food, and some other items. This was no mean feat as I had to resist the urge to bludgeon some fool with my bag of cat food and 8 pack of double roll Charmin toilet tissue.
I was standing in the long line at the cash practicing my deep breathing as once again I chose the SLOWEST FU*#ING line. Some dipshit interrupts my cashiers already slow progress in order to demand a sticker for the CD he and his babymomma are returning. Of course this starts to drag out as she can't find the sticker, and must ask the other cashier where the person who is the Keeper-of-the-stickers is. All of this is done at a painstakingly slow pace. Finally someone else comes and jumps on cash, and turns to me and the person in front of me, as we were next, and asks if we would like to come to her cash. The gentleman (yes there was one in the whole store) declines as our original cashier finally appears to be finishing her transaction. Now of course the piece of shit redneck behind me has tried to jump the cue ahead of me. It took every ounce of self control not to go off on this cretin. I just moved around him, at the cashiers urging and finally completed my transaction. I managed to make it out the doors and out of earshot before I started muttering my insults under my breath. Ree, Raps, TA you'd have been impressed with my control. You could however imagine my cursing when I realized that because I was in such a hurry to get away from the teeming masses of walking trash that I forgot to use my coupon for the free cat food!!!! I weighed my options and just got in my car, to get the hell out of Dodge. Really I am too pretty to go to jail
I posted an update to my Facebook with brief comment about my experience. A friend asked if I was crazy. Shopping at WM on a Sunday. I replied that she really knows the answer if she knows me...of course I'm crazy.
So now I am off to the mall to do some proper shopping. I am aware of the fact that I am now verging on a bad mood. I once again try to re-frame and re-focus and begin to indulge my hunter gather nature. I find some excellent deals and begin to restock my closet. I enter into one store, deciding on a particular item I would like to find. I hear the saleswoman telling another customer that everything in the store is on sale (ooh!), and if it doesn't have a red tag on it, it's 50% off (double ooh!). As I work my way down the aisle scanning for what I was looking for, and just about to start looking at other items (who doesn't like a sale?!?), the sales lady in a good natured way says "oh and I should tell this young lady too" (meaning me). I look up and smile my cheesiest grin and say "oh you mean everything is on sale, and everything with a red tag is 1/2 off?" We laugh. She asks what I'm looking for. I describe my needs and she suggests a few items. They don't quite work. She lowers her voice and says "you should try Reitmans". Then she breezes by me towards the front of the store indicating I should follow. I do. Lo and behold she's taking me out of the store and across the hall to Reitmans!! I'm laughing. She shows me an item she just bought and thinks might be up my ally. More laughing. I say to her at this point "I think you are flat out awesome to bring me here like this! This is completely outrageous!" She gives a little shriek and responds "Oh I like you! I'm going to take you everywhere!" and embraces me in a big hug. I'm not a hugger. Ree will attest to that, but this was just such an amazing incident what the hell! I hugged this complete stranger back.
So yes. A bit of a mixed bag kind of day. To the saleswoman from J. Michael's. You flat out rock! You totally made my day!
My adventure started innocently enough, on my part anyway. Since I don't get time off very often, and shop even less so, the potential folly of my first destination didn't occur to me at first. As some of you are aware, I work with a rescue and foster cats & kittens. I had obtained a coupon for free kitten food, that I knew was available at the local Wal-Mart. As I pulled into the parking lot, the realization washed over me like a rogue wave on the Bearing Sea (sorry just been watching an episode of the Deadliest Catch
). I barely navigated myself into a parking spot without leaping from the car to beat some incompetent fuckwit to death with my bare hands. Gods how I hate the troglodytes that shop at Wal-Mart, and the fact that these creatures somehow are able to obtain vehicles in which to torment me with. There is only one thing worse than a Wal-Mart customer driving. That is a WM customer walking, or more aptly, lumbering through the crowded aisles meandering here and there, always cutting off my line of motion. I obtained my kitten food, and some other items. This was no mean feat as I had to resist the urge to bludgeon some fool with my bag of cat food and 8 pack of double roll Charmin toilet tissue.
I was standing in the long line at the cash practicing my deep breathing as once again I chose the SLOWEST FU*#ING line. Some dipshit interrupts my cashiers already slow progress in order to demand a sticker for the CD he and his babymomma are returning. Of course this starts to drag out as she can't find the sticker, and must ask the other cashier where the person who is the Keeper-of-the-stickers is. All of this is done at a painstakingly slow pace. Finally someone else comes and jumps on cash, and turns to me and the person in front of me, as we were next, and asks if we would like to come to her cash. The gentleman (yes there was one in the whole store) declines as our original cashier finally appears to be finishing her transaction. Now of course the piece of shit redneck behind me has tried to jump the cue ahead of me. It took every ounce of self control not to go off on this cretin. I just moved around him, at the cashiers urging and finally completed my transaction. I managed to make it out the doors and out of earshot before I started muttering my insults under my breath. Ree, Raps, TA you'd have been impressed with my control. You could however imagine my cursing when I realized that because I was in such a hurry to get away from the teeming masses of walking trash that I forgot to use my coupon for the free cat food!!!! I weighed my options and just got in my car, to get the hell out of Dodge. Really I am too pretty to go to jail
I posted an update to my Facebook with brief comment about my experience. A friend asked if I was crazy. Shopping at WM on a Sunday. I replied that she really knows the answer if she knows me...of course I'm crazy.
So now I am off to the mall to do some proper shopping. I am aware of the fact that I am now verging on a bad mood. I once again try to re-frame and re-focus and begin to indulge my hunter gather nature. I find some excellent deals and begin to restock my closet. I enter into one store, deciding on a particular item I would like to find. I hear the saleswoman telling another customer that everything in the store is on sale (ooh!), and if it doesn't have a red tag on it, it's 50% off (double ooh!). As I work my way down the aisle scanning for what I was looking for, and just about to start looking at other items (who doesn't like a sale?!?), the sales lady in a good natured way says "oh and I should tell this young lady too" (meaning me). I look up and smile my cheesiest grin and say "oh you mean everything is on sale, and everything with a red tag is 1/2 off?" We laugh. She asks what I'm looking for. I describe my needs and she suggests a few items. They don't quite work. She lowers her voice and says "you should try Reitmans". Then she breezes by me towards the front of the store indicating I should follow. I do. Lo and behold she's taking me out of the store and across the hall to Reitmans!! I'm laughing. She shows me an item she just bought and thinks might be up my ally. More laughing. I say to her at this point "I think you are flat out awesome to bring me here like this! This is completely outrageous!" She gives a little shriek and responds "Oh I like you! I'm going to take you everywhere!" and embraces me in a big hug. I'm not a hugger. Ree will attest to that, but this was just such an amazing incident what the hell! I hugged this complete stranger back.
So yes. A bit of a mixed bag kind of day. To the saleswoman from J. Michael's. You flat out rock! You totally made my day!
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