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Store Of Fear
A story of woe...
There's a 7/11 a few blocks up from my place, which is great for me because generally speaking even on my days off I don't become overly active till after nightfall. So this 7/11 serves me well for late night snack runs. However, I noticed a few weeks ago that there was a little grocery store across the street from 7/11.
Now I figured hey, if it can stay in business near a 7/11 it must have something decent, right? 7/11's great if I need milk or lucious strawberry sherbert at 2am, but purchasing anything similar to groceries there is out of the question. So I figured I'd pop into this little grocery store and see if it was worth shopping at...
This proved to be a grevious error.
I knew I was in trouble the second I walked in and was hit with a wall of....aroma. A sort of musky, herbal smell like your grandmother's bathroom. A tiny, leathery crocodile woman said hi to me from behind the counter. I said hi back and went to see if I could salvage something from this venture...
Dimly lit store? Check. Uneven floor thats STICKY? Check. Tall, imposing aisles with no rhyme or reason? Check.
Still, I was trying to be optomistic. ( You'd think I'd have learned by now ).
So I wander the aisles...one is a WALL of canned goods that looked as if even the slightest touch would bring about my screaming death in a hail of pain and tin. Skip that one...next aisle was full of unidentified dried goods in plastic bags....not taking a risk there....
Ah ha! Cookie aisle! ....cookies which are already open? One lone remaining Oreo stared woefully back at me from the shelf. The only surviving casualty from his sweet, cream filled clan.
Rice Crispies! ...no, those are open too. Apparently someone has looted all the prizes inside. This was particularly disheartening as Harry Potter stickers would have been my salvation.
Yardsale? ....stationary....one pack of it. Also, 2 pots, 1 pair of scissors and 2 glue sticks. In a pile on an empty shelf.....many questions spring to mind, all of which I'm sure will end up with me being killed and throw off a pier in a sack.
Coke! Ah ha, I could grab a beverage. By this point I'm afraid of what will happen if I attempt to leave after canvasing the whole store. No telling what croco-dame would do to me. So I head to the cooler....s. The store has *5* coolers of various sizes, shapes and AGES.
I peer in one....it does indeed have liquids in it. What type of liquids I know not. Strangely shaped containers with unsettling terms like "Fermented Dairy Beverage" on them. I left that cooler alone for fear that touching it would be akin to touching the Ark of the Covenent.
Cooler #2....is half full of unmarked brown boxes of Lord knows what. Sitting on top of them is exactly one box of Eggo Waffles and a frozen Mac & Cheese entree.....
Cooler #3....more unmarked contraband and 2 jugs of milk. I'm tempted to check the expiration date, but I'm in full view of Croco-dame and she's closer to the door then I am. If she lunges I won't make it in time.
Cooler #4....frozen....things. They're green and in plastic bags. Perhaps the remains of the last person that checked the expiration dates on the milk.
Cooler #5 HUZZAH! Its full of unmarked no-name ice cream and popsicles clearly labelled "Not for individual sale." But sitting next to all of it is a lone can of Minute Maid orange juice concentrate. Something safe! Something sealed! Something that won't expire till 2014! I seize the prize and nervously bring it to the counter.
As I do, I notice the counter has a deli cooler attached. You know, that cooler thats glass on the customers side so you have to ask for what you want. Problem is its frosted over and the light is burnt out....so you can't see anything in it except for one spot near the end where I can see a stick of butter and some cream cheese...so to clarify, if you want butter you have to request it from the crocolisk.
I pay for my transaction and notice something move to my left. The entire time there's been a hunkered over little old man stuffed in the corner, unmoving, staring into a black & white TV with no sound. I take my juice and flee. I could almost hear the Twilight Zone theme. ><
Then I immediately crossed the street and went to 7/11. -.-
As for the orange juice? Its still in my freezer...I'm somewhat afraid to open it. I might release some sort of ancient evil thats rich in vitamin C but will eventually consume all of humanity.
There's a 7/11 a few blocks up from my place, which is great for me because generally speaking even on my days off I don't become overly active till after nightfall. So this 7/11 serves me well for late night snack runs. However, I noticed a few weeks ago that there was a little grocery store across the street from 7/11.
Now I figured hey, if it can stay in business near a 7/11 it must have something decent, right? 7/11's great if I need milk or lucious strawberry sherbert at 2am, but purchasing anything similar to groceries there is out of the question. So I figured I'd pop into this little grocery store and see if it was worth shopping at...
This proved to be a grevious error.
I knew I was in trouble the second I walked in and was hit with a wall of....aroma. A sort of musky, herbal smell like your grandmother's bathroom. A tiny, leathery crocodile woman said hi to me from behind the counter. I said hi back and went to see if I could salvage something from this venture...
Dimly lit store? Check. Uneven floor thats STICKY? Check. Tall, imposing aisles with no rhyme or reason? Check.
Still, I was trying to be optomistic. ( You'd think I'd have learned by now ).
So I wander the aisles...one is a WALL of canned goods that looked as if even the slightest touch would bring about my screaming death in a hail of pain and tin. Skip that one...next aisle was full of unidentified dried goods in plastic bags....not taking a risk there....
Ah ha! Cookie aisle! ....cookies which are already open? One lone remaining Oreo stared woefully back at me from the shelf. The only surviving casualty from his sweet, cream filled clan.
Rice Crispies! ...no, those are open too. Apparently someone has looted all the prizes inside. This was particularly disheartening as Harry Potter stickers would have been my salvation.
Yardsale? ....stationary....one pack of it. Also, 2 pots, 1 pair of scissors and 2 glue sticks. In a pile on an empty shelf.....many questions spring to mind, all of which I'm sure will end up with me being killed and throw off a pier in a sack.
Coke! Ah ha, I could grab a beverage. By this point I'm afraid of what will happen if I attempt to leave after canvasing the whole store. No telling what croco-dame would do to me. So I head to the cooler....s. The store has *5* coolers of various sizes, shapes and AGES.
I peer in one....it does indeed have liquids in it. What type of liquids I know not. Strangely shaped containers with unsettling terms like "Fermented Dairy Beverage" on them. I left that cooler alone for fear that touching it would be akin to touching the Ark of the Covenent.
Cooler #2....is half full of unmarked brown boxes of Lord knows what. Sitting on top of them is exactly one box of Eggo Waffles and a frozen Mac & Cheese entree.....
Cooler #3....more unmarked contraband and 2 jugs of milk. I'm tempted to check the expiration date, but I'm in full view of Croco-dame and she's closer to the door then I am. If she lunges I won't make it in time.
Cooler #4....frozen....things. They're green and in plastic bags. Perhaps the remains of the last person that checked the expiration dates on the milk.
Cooler #5 HUZZAH! Its full of unmarked no-name ice cream and popsicles clearly labelled "Not for individual sale." But sitting next to all of it is a lone can of Minute Maid orange juice concentrate. Something safe! Something sealed! Something that won't expire till 2014! I seize the prize and nervously bring it to the counter.
As I do, I notice the counter has a deli cooler attached. You know, that cooler thats glass on the customers side so you have to ask for what you want. Problem is its frosted over and the light is burnt out....so you can't see anything in it except for one spot near the end where I can see a stick of butter and some cream cheese...so to clarify, if you want butter you have to request it from the crocolisk.
I pay for my transaction and notice something move to my left. The entire time there's been a hunkered over little old man stuffed in the corner, unmoving, staring into a black & white TV with no sound. I take my juice and flee. I could almost hear the Twilight Zone theme. ><
Then I immediately crossed the street and went to 7/11. -.-
As for the orange juice? Its still in my freezer...I'm somewhat afraid to open it. I might release some sort of ancient evil thats rich in vitamin C but will eventually consume all of humanity.
- Angelspit, '100%'
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