New Reasons To Be Offended
Haven't posted in awhile because it's been the same old same old and I've been struggling with my ongoing lung issues. Gotta conserve energy.
Have I stated I hate, hate,. HATE prom season and wedding season nearly as much as Valentines Day?
Prom season I hate because I have people calling up in a panic demanding a boutonniere and corsage in twenty minutes or prom will be totally RUINEDDDDDDD!! Elevenity!!11111111111!!!!!!
After explaining that if all their local florists are sold out of corsages we'd not be able to provide one either because we cannot bend the laws of time or multiple what doesn't exist I get cussed out.
The other bad prom scenario is Mom calling up a week or so in advance to order corsage/boutonniere package and saying they don't care what we send out after I spend a fruitless twenty minutes trying to get Mom to pick a flower and/or color scheme and hinting that prom is something so personal and important that Mom really should take daughter/son down to the local florist and consult the designer and the person that will actually be wearing the piece. Mom is in an ass busting hurry to get it ordered and sure enough when it arrives she calls back screaming and hyperventilating that it's ALL WRONGGGGGGGGGG! And that's why I tried to get you to go to the local florist, so you could actually get what you wanted instead of a very generic looking corsage.
My wedding hate is simpler. It usually involves an assclown like last night, someone that thinks they are a floral designer calling up and screeching that they need six gazillion roses by 3 pm the next day. After I explain we don't do bulk orders and to go to your local florist and get him to order them for you, the caller usually huffs out, well how much IS six gazillion roses. When I tell them that they are 5 dollars a stem called explodes and asks if they are made of gold. Dumbass, you are calling a retailer.......
We do no wedding anything because the prom corsage scenario is just repeated on a grander scale with wedding arrangements. If you cannot be bothered to get down to the florist and actually chose what it is that will be at your wedding you deserve whatever it is that you get.
Last night I had oodles of Prom Scenario #1 and #2 along with idiots that would not understand that they don't get anything wedding related from us and I'm not willing to give them a wholesale order at a fraction of the real price.
But those weren't even the worst two callers.
#2 on the countdown goes to a lady upset that she'd placed an online order and we called her back five minutes later to let her know that the only florist in Podunk Speenbuster, Idontknow could not get a delivery out in an hour to the funeral. She started huffily demanding we "Get offa mah funeral home website RIGHT NOW!" Apparently the funeral home has a link to our service on their website but somehow we're supposed to remove that link
#1 worst caller last night lost it and started cussing me out because....
drum roll please....
I was 'Too Cheerful'
"No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh