We DON'T advertise what we DON'T have!

[bhskittykatt]

SC: Where’s your truck parking?
Me: We don’t have any on site, but there’s a vacant restaurant parking lot next door where you can…
SC: You mean you don’t have truck parking on site? I don’t want to leave my rig over at some vacant lot! This is ridiculous! I never read anywhere that you don’t have truck parking? Why don’t you advertise that you don’t have truck parking?

Um, yeah, ‘cause advertising what we don’t have makes so much sense. Apparently the lack of the truck icon next to our directory listing which you are so desperately clutching in your hands wasn’t enough of a hint.

But hey, if the customer is always right, then I’ll go inform Marketing that customers now want us to advertise the amenities we DON’T have. Let me just draft up the new ad and run it by them, m’kay?

<Brand Name Motel>
What we DON’T offer is:
Truck Parking
Doing your taxes
Walking your dog
Cleaning your house
Chewing your food
Doing your homework
Changing the oil in your car
Blow jobs (note: that’s an SC story for another day…)
Juggling chainsaws for your entertainment
Wiping your ass
AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

Yeah, I don’t think we get enough ad space to list all the services we DON’T offer. I’m pretty sure despite your complaint that we’re going to continue to do the logical thing and just stick to advertising the amenities we DO offer!

[fireheart]

Blow jobs (note: that’s an SC story for another day…)

I'm betting there's a story with this one and I really want to hear it

[bhskittykatt]

There is a story to that one. It deserves it's own thread. I'll post it soon!

[Argabarga]

Of course posting that you don't offer something only means that the idiots of the world will either misread the sign and come on in expecting it

"No truck parking..." Hmm, no truck parking.. truck parking, woah, thye've got truck parking? Hot dog! I"m pullin in!

Or, they'll pull in demanding that you DO something about that becuase it's rediculous you would advertize something you don't have

[protege]

Of course posting that you don't offer something only means that the idiots of the world will either misread the sign and come on in expecting it

You're not the only one who thought that. And not just in printed ads either--I can imagine putting the "we can't haz" crap on billboards. Imagine the flak that would come because some idiot misread the sign at 70mph

[LillFilly]

OMG, my truckers are after YOU now!!!

Even if you had an ad or signs, they wouldn't see them. Like they don't see the 4 we have now.

[Green_Fairy]

i wish i could remember what store it's for but i saw a commercial last week for some appliance store saying what they don't carry. apparently the point was that they only have appliances. weird.

[Can I have a cheeseburger]

This might be a good idea for where I work. I work for a bookstore that also sells clothing. We are not a computer store. We have no computers in sight, and we have no software in sight. And yet we get an unbelievable number of people who come in and think we're a computer store and ask for various hardware or software we don't carry! And we get phone calls all the time from people who think we're a computer store.

We also get quite a few medical students who think we sell medical equipment. We keep the address and phone number of a local business that actually does, since we get these customers so frequently.

The Campus Bookstore - We don't sell:

- Stethoscopes
- Scalpels
- Notebook computers
- Antivirus software
- Printers
- Microsoft Office 2007
- Mobile phones
- iPods

Just as a reminder, we also don't sell:

- Egg McMuffins
- Sex toys
- Shares in Coca-Cola stock
- Livestock
- Condoms
- Marijuana
- Riding lawn mowers
- Foreclosed housing
- The Phoenix Coyotes hockey team
- Hay
- Traffic lights
- Plutonium
- Lab rats
- The Olympics

[Broomjockey]

This might be a good idea for where I work. I work for a bookstore that also sells clothing. We are not a computer store. We have no computers in sight, and we have no software in sight. And yet we get an unbelievable number of people who come in and think we're a computer store and ask for various hardware or software we don't carry! And we get phone calls all the time from people who think we're a computer store.

This is at least a little more understandable. Every campus bookstore in my city (all 3 of them, yeah, big sample, I know) sells certain software that students might need for classes (Office, AutoCAD, Adobe CS4, etc), and laptops (OS X and Windows based), and offer student pricing for them. The thing of it is, none of it's really advertised, and when you're in the store, it can be difficult to find anything, since the laptops need to be ordered in, so there's no displays, and the software takes up one wall, mixed in with everything else. So, while annoying due to the repetitive nature, it's probably only sucky if they try to insist that you must have software.

[Becks]

Sex toys

Missing out on some lucrative business there...

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

Missing out on some lubricrative business there...

Fixed it for ya.

[ralerin]

Just as a reminder, we also don't sell:

- Egg McMuffins
- Sex toys
- Shares in Coca-Cola stock
- Livestock
- Condoms
- Marijuana
- Riding lawn mowers
- Foreclosed housing
- The Phoenix Coyotes hockey team
- Hay
- Traffic lights
- Plutonium
- Lab rats
- The Olympics

To quote someone up above: There is a story there and I want to hear. Especially the Coke and the Olympics ones. I mean, wth, how can you sell the Olympics?!?

[Plague*Star]

The Campus Bookstore - We don't sell:

- Stethoscopes
- Scalpels
- Notebook computers
- Antivirus software
- Printers
- Microsoft Office 2007
- Mobile phones
- iPods

Well, the campus bookstore I work at sells all of the above except Stethoscopes and Scalpels, but we're not a medical college. If students wanted them, we would probably sell them. We no longer sell Mobile Phones; too much hassle with the activation, etc. We also sell condoms, but no alcohol or tobacco. Red Bull we sell, and though we've never officially sold marijuana, there was this workstudy once....
P*S

[Can I have a cheeseburger]

To quote someone up above: There is a story there and I want to hear. Especially the Coke and the Olympics ones. I mean, wth, how can you sell the Olympics?!?

Most of these were totally make-believe. Condoms are available from a vending machine in a nearby washroom however.

An Egg McMuffin, however, was something someone ordered when I used to work at Starbucks.