So, Textbook Hell had our first of the twice yearly inventories a little over a week ago. It was traumatizing. Very very traumatizing. First of all, our internet connection has been spotty, dropping out and being a general nuisance, and we've been on the phone with the provider repeatedly. Turns out we're on the very outliers of their service area, and despite our telling them they HAVE to send a tech out, they insist it's not their lines, it's OUR computers.
Right. So, we switched to wireless, which slows everything down, keeps us from being able to use the PDTs, and forces us to have to create countsheets by hand, then plug them into our POS system, which runs as slow as molasses in the snow. Furthermore, we can't run any kind of web reports, have no corporate email, and our timecard system is nonexistent. We have to email our time punches to a rep in payroll everyday so he can manually plug them in. What FUN. And that's just the technical side of it, getting to the actual counting part hurt even worse!!
See, ex-GM who got canned screwed us over royally in a lot of ways, and we're just now discovering how badly. Bottom line, we were short $30k, and MOST of it was in crap she GAVE AWAY to people for random reasons. Or items that were supposed to have been damaged out from LAST year were still showing up as shortages even after we ended up tossing them into the dumpsters many many moons ago.
All things told, the entire store total was $30k short but $20k of that came from GM. Textbooks and trade books were considerably less. Although there were still issues there. One of the funniest things, though, happened when I was auditing and going through discrepancy reports while our regional sup was here. He comes in the last 2 days of inventory to go over the reports himself, and make sure everything is as correct as we can make it before we post.
Upon finding out just how badly ex-GM screwed us we reduced this poor man to
giggles. Seriously. We made him giggle. I figured it was kind of like the idea better to laugh than cry, right? Right.
Oh boy.
Well, during one such run on discrepancy reports, I was looking for some of our general reading books. We don't carry many, but we do have a few. You see, we have a deal with one of our vendors to get boxes of general reading books, you know, random fiction, nonfiction, some cookbooks, children's books, etc. In exchange for selling/displaying them we get bigger discounts on textbooks. In one of these shipments, we received 3 different books which were apparently hardcore erotica. One was titled "Out of Control" with the blurb on the back starting with "Get read to be Out of Control, with some of the hardest, hottest, man on man action you've ever read" Or something like that....
Another one was a victorian-ish "romance" that apparently was talking about a woman "discovering her sexuality", which was really a thinly veiled way to throw her into a threesome/orgy, according to the blurb on the back. And the last one was the other anthology, called "Spin the bottle" and contained stories which, in the blurb, included one about a couple who already have great sex, but then "discover the the stimulating medical instruments that belonged to his grandfater (or uncle?). So many cold hard toys. So much potential. So many ways to
play doctor"
(Sidenote: apologies to
this guy. Apparently we DID have something he was looking for, but I was unaware of it because they were supposed to have been sent BACK.)
So, upon checking the discrepancy reports, I discover we're short a certain number of titles, which just happen to coincide with the number of erotica books we received in that shipment. Further investigation shows they were tossed in the back room in a basket and just left there. just great, what the hell do I do with this? I go to my textbook manager, an older, grandfatherly type of guy, who is sweet and kind and you just want to take care of him. (In fact, I do try to bring him food on a regular basis, else the man would subsist on Dr. Pepper and Kit Kats for lunch and call it a day)
I tell him about the problem, and ask what to do. He says talk to the Regional Guy. I sort of sulk about this and tell him "You want me to talk to RG about porn? I don't WANT to talk to RG about porn, he already thinks I'm crazy!"
TM: Yes, you need to ask RG about the porn. But I'll go with you because I need to ask him about something else.
Me: Oh, gee thanks...
So, we go to look for RG, who's hunched over a clipboard scribbling something and intent on counting something out on the floor. We have no customers in the store, and once we get within 3 feet of RG, TM blurts out (and he has a loud voice, which always carries!)
"Nevermind, Lupo, I changed my mind. I'LL ask RG about the porn!"
Cue Lupo abruptly planting her ass on the floor as she cackles hysterically because that's just one of those things you never ever EVER want to hear come out of TM's mouth. It just...doesn't sound right.
Poor RG...his head shoots up and the look on his face...I can't even describe it. He sort of choked and asked what the hell was going on, and I got the, er, privilege of leading him to the back and showing him the books while explaining the problem. He asks if I'm sure they're that bad, and turns one over to read the back.
He grabbed the Out of Control book.
I've never, in my LIFE seen a man turn that many different shades of red. He told me what to do, and how to correct the error on the report, and in our system and, for lack of a better word, fled.
Poor, poor RG. He never did look me in the eye again for the rest of the day...
Inventory Antics (warning to be on the safe side, may be NSFW)
yoooouuu!! 
Linear Mode
