People who know me realize quickly that I am not a Morning Person. Hell, people who know me online for five minutes realize that, as I am not shy about saying it. And yet, some of my closest friends fail to realize it.
Take Frank. Frank has been my best friend in Key West for the last ten plus years. He is a world-class magician and entertainer, and actually the person who convinced me to become a professional magician myself. I often fill in for Frank at his magic bar when he is away at some out of town gig. And despite the fact that he has known me since just about the minute I hit this island, he still insists on calling me early in the morning for nonsensical and stupid shit, knowing full well that this kind of shit drives me nuts.
Now, before you start thinking that Frank is one of those people I so freely dub a "fucking idiot," I should point out that he is very intelligent, very talented, and very good at what he does. So good that he is often, as I alluded to above, booked to perform for events that are out of town, often very far away. He gets paid Stupid Money for this kind of stuff, and earns every damn penny. Two of his recent bookings are notable. First, he just recently got booked to perform for the troops in Iraq. He will be there for two weeks, escorted by the Marine that made this possible, and despite his normal Stupid Money asking price, Frank is doing this for free. He is doing this out of patriotism and the goodness of his heart. The troops are in for a treat.
Another recent event is that a Hollywood booking agency that works with the NFL contacted Frank, wanting him to perform private shows for some of the NFL bigwigs at the upcoming Super Bowl in Dallas. Something Frank has been very proud about and has been telling his friends about since he got the first call a few weeks ago. But sadly, tonight it all fell apart, when he heard from the guy at the Hollywood agency, who told him that they could not employ him for such an important gig because they just could not work with people who woke their friends up at such ungodly hours. Getting off the phone in a daze, Frank wandered back into the bar to see me holding up a sign that read, "GOTCHA!"
That's right, kids. The whole NFL thing was a complete and utter fiction. I planned it over a year ago, scripted it over a month ago, and put it into play about three weeks ago. The "Hollywood agent" was none other than my friend Pilot, an architect from Boston who is just as evil as me....and who will not pay for a damn drink the entire night the next time I see him.
"But Jester....that's MEAN!" Yes. Yes it is. So is continuing to wake up a friend early in the morning....a friend you know doesn't do early mornings. So this was part revenge, and part practical joke.
To his credit, Frank laughed about it, and admitted that I got him, and that topping this will be virtually impossible. I told him that if he ever does top it, I will kiss his feet.
And so I, your humble Jester, has now been crowned as the King of the Prank. I used Frank's ego and talent against him (if the NFL called him, it would not be out of the realm of possibility, after all), and set him up masterfully in a way he never saw coming. It was the greatest prank of my rather impressive pranking career, and one I don't know that I will top any time soon....and one that Frank is going to be hard pressed to ever top.
I am, quite simply, The King of Pranks.
"But Jester--aren't you exhibiting the same arrogance that caused Frank to get hooked in this?'
Sure I am. But by the time anyone comes around with a prank to get me, this will have subsided.
So I shall remain on my thrown. And for now, I am not only the King of Pranks, but also, quite simply....
The Master.
Take Frank. Frank has been my best friend in Key West for the last ten plus years. He is a world-class magician and entertainer, and actually the person who convinced me to become a professional magician myself. I often fill in for Frank at his magic bar when he is away at some out of town gig. And despite the fact that he has known me since just about the minute I hit this island, he still insists on calling me early in the morning for nonsensical and stupid shit, knowing full well that this kind of shit drives me nuts.
Now, before you start thinking that Frank is one of those people I so freely dub a "fucking idiot," I should point out that he is very intelligent, very talented, and very good at what he does. So good that he is often, as I alluded to above, booked to perform for events that are out of town, often very far away. He gets paid Stupid Money for this kind of stuff, and earns every damn penny. Two of his recent bookings are notable. First, he just recently got booked to perform for the troops in Iraq. He will be there for two weeks, escorted by the Marine that made this possible, and despite his normal Stupid Money asking price, Frank is doing this for free. He is doing this out of patriotism and the goodness of his heart. The troops are in for a treat.
Another recent event is that a Hollywood booking agency that works with the NFL contacted Frank, wanting him to perform private shows for some of the NFL bigwigs at the upcoming Super Bowl in Dallas. Something Frank has been very proud about and has been telling his friends about since he got the first call a few weeks ago. But sadly, tonight it all fell apart, when he heard from the guy at the Hollywood agency, who told him that they could not employ him for such an important gig because they just could not work with people who woke their friends up at such ungodly hours. Getting off the phone in a daze, Frank wandered back into the bar to see me holding up a sign that read, "GOTCHA!"
That's right, kids. The whole NFL thing was a complete and utter fiction. I planned it over a year ago, scripted it over a month ago, and put it into play about three weeks ago. The "Hollywood agent" was none other than my friend Pilot, an architect from Boston who is just as evil as me....and who will not pay for a damn drink the entire night the next time I see him.
"But Jester....that's MEAN!" Yes. Yes it is. So is continuing to wake up a friend early in the morning....a friend you know doesn't do early mornings. So this was part revenge, and part practical joke.
To his credit, Frank laughed about it, and admitted that I got him, and that topping this will be virtually impossible. I told him that if he ever does top it, I will kiss his feet.
And so I, your humble Jester, has now been crowned as the King of the Prank. I used Frank's ego and talent against him (if the NFL called him, it would not be out of the realm of possibility, after all), and set him up masterfully in a way he never saw coming. It was the greatest prank of my rather impressive pranking career, and one I don't know that I will top any time soon....and one that Frank is going to be hard pressed to ever top.
I am, quite simply, The King of Pranks.
"But Jester--aren't you exhibiting the same arrogance that caused Frank to get hooked in this?'
Sure I am. But by the time anyone comes around with a prank to get me, this will have subsided.
So I shall remain on my thrown. And for now, I am not only the King of Pranks, but also, quite simply....
The Master.
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