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The King has entered the building.....

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  • The King has entered the building.....

    People who know me realize quickly that I am not a Morning Person. Hell, people who know me online for five minutes realize that, as I am not shy about saying it. And yet, some of my closest friends fail to realize it.

    Take Frank. Frank has been my best friend in Key West for the last ten plus years. He is a world-class magician and entertainer, and actually the person who convinced me to become a professional magician myself. I often fill in for Frank at his magic bar when he is away at some out of town gig. And despite the fact that he has known me since just about the minute I hit this island, he still insists on calling me early in the morning for nonsensical and stupid shit, knowing full well that this kind of shit drives me nuts.

    Now, before you start thinking that Frank is one of those people I so freely dub a "fucking idiot," I should point out that he is very intelligent, very talented, and very good at what he does. So good that he is often, as I alluded to above, booked to perform for events that are out of town, often very far away. He gets paid Stupid Money for this kind of stuff, and earns every damn penny. Two of his recent bookings are notable. First, he just recently got booked to perform for the troops in Iraq. He will be there for two weeks, escorted by the Marine that made this possible, and despite his normal Stupid Money asking price, Frank is doing this for free. He is doing this out of patriotism and the goodness of his heart. The troops are in for a treat.

    Another recent event is that a Hollywood booking agency that works with the NFL contacted Frank, wanting him to perform private shows for some of the NFL bigwigs at the upcoming Super Bowl in Dallas. Something Frank has been very proud about and has been telling his friends about since he got the first call a few weeks ago. But sadly, tonight it all fell apart, when he heard from the guy at the Hollywood agency, who told him that they could not employ him for such an important gig because they just could not work with people who woke their friends up at such ungodly hours. Getting off the phone in a daze, Frank wandered back into the bar to see me holding up a sign that read, "GOTCHA!"

    That's right, kids. The whole NFL thing was a complete and utter fiction. I planned it over a year ago, scripted it over a month ago, and put it into play about three weeks ago. The "Hollywood agent" was none other than my friend Pilot, an architect from Boston who is just as evil as me....and who will not pay for a damn drink the entire night the next time I see him.

    "But Jester....that's MEAN!" Yes. Yes it is. So is continuing to wake up a friend early in the morning....a friend you know doesn't do early mornings. So this was part revenge, and part practical joke.

    To his credit, Frank laughed about it, and admitted that I got him, and that topping this will be virtually impossible. I told him that if he ever does top it, I will kiss his feet.

    And so I, your humble Jester, has now been crowned as the King of the Prank. I used Frank's ego and talent against him (if the NFL called him, it would not be out of the realm of possibility, after all), and set him up masterfully in a way he never saw coming. It was the greatest prank of my rather impressive pranking career, and one I don't know that I will top any time soon....and one that Frank is going to be hard pressed to ever top.

    I am, quite simply, The King of Pranks.



    "But Jester--aren't you exhibiting the same arrogance that caused Frank to get hooked in this?'
    Sure I am. But by the time anyone comes around with a prank to get me, this will have subsided.

    So I shall remain on my thrown. And for now, I am not only the King of Pranks, but also, quite simply....



    The Master.


    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    I love you.
    Don't wanna; not gonna.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Jester View Post
      First, he just recently got booked to perform for the troops in Iraq. He will be there for two weeks, escorted by the Marine that made this possible, and despite his normal Stupid Money asking price, Frank is doing this for free. He is doing this out of patriotism and the goodness of his heart. The troops are in for a treat.
      give him a hug and a smooch on the cheek for me for this one. and there'd better be smooching ^_^

      aaaand about the prank? you sir, are a king among jesters. you shall forever live in infamy due to this one.
      If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

      i'm on fb and xbox live; pm me if ya wanna be "friends"
      ^_^

      Comment


      • #4
        That is the kind of prank that, played on me, would ruin a friendship. But I know you well enough by now to know that you, sir, are an excellent judge of your audience, so I don't feel bad about laughing at this one.

        I bet he never forgets that you aren't a morning person again.....Whether or not he stops calling you in the mornings is a different matter entirely.

        I sincerely hope that both you and I are still on these boards when Frank gets his revenge, because it will be epic indeed.
        The High Priest is an Illusion!

        Comment


        • #5
          i love pranks. it was awesome,
          Military Spouse Support.
          http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
          Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth ArcticChicken View Post
            That is the kind of prank that, played on me, would ruin a friendship. But I know you well enough by now to know that you, sir, are an excellent judge of your audience, so I don't feel bad about laughing at this one.
            Don't feel at all bad. As you said, I am an excellent judge of my audience. (At least most times.) And what I told my friends in attendance would happen did, in fact, happen.

            Sure, Frank was pissed at first. Especially before he knew who had done this to him. See, my accomplice, Pilot, did fail in one regard in this. When he finally revealed to Frank that it was all a prank, he did not adequately explain who was behind this. He gave Frank a version of my name that, while many of my friends use it, Frank does not. So when Frank wandered back into the bar, confused and befuddled, he did not even think of me. Until, that is, I held up my "GOTCHA!" sign. And then it all fell into place.

            And what surprised my other friends is that he did exactly what I expected him to do. Laughed about it, and at himself, and posed for a picture with me and the "GOTCHA!" sign. Even allowed me (and actually encouraged me) to tape one of the "GOTCHA!" signs on the wall behind his magic bar. And rather than hide from it, he went out of his way to tell everyone who would listen how I had nailed him but good....just as he had gone out of his way to tell anyone who would listen that he was being contacted by the Super Bowl to perform.

            Down deep, is Frank pissed? Probably a little. But remember, boys and girls, this was not merely a prank on a friend, but a revenge device against a friend inconsiderate of his friends' (not just me) sleeping hours. And to his credit, Frank will absolutely get over it. I have no doubt, in fact, that he will begin plotting his own revenge very, very soon.

            Of course, whether he can catch me napping and, more importantly, whether that revenge tops my prank is another matter altogether.

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #7
              Jester, I hope to God you and my dad never meet up, because the prank war that would inevitably be started might lead to the end of civilization as we know it.

              I applaud you, sir. Masterfully done!
              "Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

              My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Joi, chances are good that your dad and I would hit it off so well, there would be no war.

                However, think of the damage we could do teaming up to prank others.

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

                Comment

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