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Tales From Department 5 vol. 1
  #1  
Old 10-13-2010, 06:08 PM
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Dracalous Dracalous is offline
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Default Tales From Department 5 vol. 1

Background: Hey all. I've been lurking here long enough, so I thought I'd unload some of my own frustration from Wally World Electronics.

You have to pay for that, ma'am

This was an average day early in my sentence in Electronics. A lady walks up and asks me how she can get wireless internet. As this is before we've started selling prepaid broadband, and I haven't yet learned of the available broadband contracts through two of the carriers we sell, I'm assuming she's talking about WI-FI.

Me: Self-explanatory
SC: Universal term by now

SC: Can you tell me how to get free wireless?
Me: Sure! We carry a variety of wireless routers over here *motions for her to follow*
SC: And these will get me internet?
Me: *not picking up quite yet* As long as it's hooked into your modem, it'll send out the wireless signal to your wi-fi enabled devices.
SC: I don't have a modem.
Me: *Thinking "new customer"* Well, you're provider should set one up when they install the line.
SC: I don't have a provider. I want wireless.
MeOh shit...) You need an internet provider to get the internet, ma'am.
SC: No. You need to tell me how I can get free internet.
Me: You could take your laptop to <bookstore that has free wi-fi> or <other bookstore>.
SC: I have a desktop. I want free wireless on it.
Me: You have to pay for internet access in your home, ma'am.
SC: (Everyone sing along with the chorus, now!) Well thanks for nothing! *storms off*

Memories of the Front

Before electronics, I worked as a cashier. Less BS with management, but infinitely more BS with customers.

Me: Meaning well, being helpful. But I'm at the EXPRESS lane next to the exit. All bets off.
SCM: Sucky Customer Man
SCW: Same thing, but female

SCM/SCW walk up to the express lane with a cart piled high with stuff to overflowing. Obviously our sign written in 2 languages that this is a 20 items or less lane is illegible.

Me: (rather meekly, because pointing this out is considered "bad customer service" by both management and customers) That's quite a bit more than 20 items. A lane with a belt would be able to check you out faster...
SCM: Hi! *piles items on tiny counterspace AS FAST AS HE POSSIBLY CAN*

I don't know what school of physics you graduated from, but if you're putting a shitload of stuff on the counter as I'm reaching for stuff, that's gonna slow me down. Whether or not EVERYTHING is on the counter, I can still only check out as fast as I have enough bags on the carousel. Speaking of which, when the bag is full, take it off the damn carousel. Or pick it up off the floor as I set it there to make room for more of your shit.

Roughly five to ten minutes later...

Me: OK, your total comes to $xxx.xx.
SCW: I'm paying for the food items with EBT (Washington State Food Stamp debit card. They don't have to tell me. The system tells me. I don't want to hear either person's voice at this point.)
Me: Okee dokee. Just slide your card.
SCM: Have him bring up what's covered by the EBT.
SCW: Yeah, show me.
Me: Our machines can't do that.
SCW: *bitchily* Why not?
Me: It's just not programmed to.
SCW: Well how would I know what's paid for by EBT?
Me: What is covered will be deducted from the price.
SCW: We'll see. *swipes card, enters PIN*
Me: Your new total is $xxx.xx
SCM: Can you show us what was covered by the EBT?

Our machines are old. I'm not even sure if the new ones can do that. I know the registers we use can't. Also: I just explained all this!

Me: Our machines can't do that.
SCM: Then how do we know we're not getting scammed?
Me: You're not.
SCW: Whatever... *pays and they leave, grumbling about how long it took*

Looking at the receipt as I hand it to them, I spot that it says they bought 85 items. The hell? Is it really that hard to read?

Zoning in DVDs

Those of you in retail know the woes of zoning. Those of you who also work at Wally World know how we need to zone ALL THE TIME.

In my adventures in zoning DVDs, I've witnessed some baffling and irritating occurrences. I've seen people pull a DVD off the shelf from a spot right in front of their face, look at it, and reach aaaaaaallll the way to their left or right to put it in an empty space or a space with a different DVD.

I know that this contraption on our shelves it soooo complicated. Far be it from me to assume you could have ever learned what a "spring" is or how it works. So of course it's completely understandable that you have no other choice but to throw the DVD behind the shelf when the one behind it moves forward or there's the slightest bit of resistance from it in the off chance that you'd try to put it back.

In the words of one child who is likely to be a politician some day: "These are hard to put back"

That's what I said

SC: Do you have <insert item name here>
Me: Sorry, I've been out of stock for a few hours now.
SC: So You're out of stock?
Me

Do not repeat what I say in the form of a question. I do not have a reason to lie about such a thing. If I had one in the back, I'd happily go look for it just for the chance to spend time away from you and others like you.

  #2  
Old 10-13-2010, 07:22 PM
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Sheldonrs Sheldonrs is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Dracalous View Post
...That's what I said

SC: Do you have <insert item name here>
Me: Sorry, I've been out of stock for a few hours now.
SC: So You're out of stock?
Me

....

Dammit! They broke your code!!!!
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  #3  
Old 10-13-2010, 08:47 PM
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Syriilord Syriilord is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
Dammit! They broke your code!!!!
Don't you just hate when they figure out your encoding method and you have to come up with a whole new one, just so they won't be able to understand plain English?
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  #4  
Old 10-13-2010, 09:45 PM
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Automan Empire Automan Empire is offline
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SC: Do you have <insert item name here>
Me: Sorry, I've been out of stock for a few hours now.
SC: So You're out of stock?

^^^Man, I hate that! Look, if I need to do all of your thinking for you, do NOT expect me to be kind and pleasant about it!
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  #5  
Old 10-14-2010, 12:18 AM
Sleepwalker Sleepwalker is offline
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I don't have good luck with wally werld spring loaders. I usually leave it awkwardly piled on top of its snugly loaded brethren.

  #6  
Old 10-14-2010, 03:52 AM
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Quote:
Quoth Sleepwalker View Post
I don't have good luck with wally werld spring loaders. I usually leave it awkwardly piled on top of its snugly loaded brethren.
I have the same bad luck. Not sure why, but I can never get the stupid things to push in.
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  #7  
Old 10-14-2010, 05:27 AM
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Quote:
SCM: Then how do we know we're not getting scammed?
must refrain...from making comment.

ergh, what is it with people and quick checkouts? there's a limit, maybe it's the word 'limit' that confuses them?
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  #8  
Old 10-14-2010, 06:49 AM
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Dracalous Dracalous is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Mystic View Post
I have the same bad luck. Not sure why, but I can never get the stupid things to push in.
Just push with your fingers from the bottom of the spring back or the dvd in front. All the force goes towards pushing it back instead of just tilting it and jamming it.

  #9  
Old 10-14-2010, 07:16 AM
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Marmalady Marmalady is offline
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Quote:
Quoth chainedbarista View Post
must refrain...from making comment.

ergh, what is it with people and quick checkouts? there's a limit, maybe it's the word 'limit' that confuses them?
No... it's ALL words that confuse them......
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  #10  
Old 10-14-2010, 08:54 AM
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Quote:
Quoth Dracalous View Post
That's what I said

SC: Do you have <insert item name here>
Me: Sorry, I've been out of stock for a few hours now.
SC: So You're out of stock?
Me

Do not repeat what I say in the form of a question. I do not have a reason to lie about such a thing. If I had one in the back, I'd happily go look for it just for the chance to spend time away from you and others like you.
I am reminded of the very first episode of "Red Dwarf" where the main character (Dave Lister) is awakened from stasis after being there for three million years (bad radiation leak while he was in stasis). He spends several minutes trying to figure out where everyone is and the computer (Holly) just can't get it to sink in.

Holly: Good morning David, it is now safe for you to emerge from stasis.
Lister: I've only just gone in.
Holly: Please forward to the drive room for de-briefing.
Lister: Where is everybody Hol?
Holly: They're dead, Dave!
Lister:Who is?
Holly: Everybody, Dave!
Lister:What, Captain Hollister?
Holly: Everybody Dave!
Lister: What, Toddhunter?
Holly: Everybody Dave!
Lister: What Selby?
Holly: They're all dead, everybody's dead Dave
Lister:Peterson isn't; Is he?
Holly: Everybody's dead Dave!
Lister:Not Chen
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes, Chen, everybody. Everbody's dead Dave!
Lister: Rimmer?
Holly: Yes, Rimmer. Everybody. Is. dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
Lister: Wait...! Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
Holly: (to himself) Never should have let him out in the first place.
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