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Shoes =/= Food!!!

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  • Shoes =/= Food!!!

    Today, my mom treated me to lunch of my choice. I chose SubWay because I wanted something a tad healthier than my usual fast food diet (not by choice). The one we stopped at is usually slow with 1-3 customers at a time. This time, it had about 12 customers. It doesn't seem like a lot, but it's a tiny SubWay. First thing when we walk in, I notice a table with 2 kids on either side. Thay all looked about 2-4 years old. As we passed the table, all four of them starded banging the table real fast. The mom and dad were both in line.

    Mother of Suck: Hey...hey...please don't.....stop that....honey go stop them.
    Father of Suck: Ok... Hey guys, stop that. Stop. Stop. Stop. Thank you

    Really, I think they stopped because they got bored. The 7th time isn't the charm, sorry. Instead of staying with the kiddies to make sur they behave, he went right back in line. Not only did they leave the kids alone, they also took forever to order! They kept hopping out of line to stare at random things and let everyone pass them up. The kid's kept screaming, jumping on the bench and pounding on the table. It was the same thing each time.

    MS: Kids...kids...knock it off...stop....kids.....honey go stop them.
    FS: Ok...hey....hey.....stop. Stop. Stop. Stop that. Stop. Stop tha....thanks.

    I don't know what posessed me to sit at the table behind that one (with my back to them) but I did. I'm eating my sub while the world's best parents are still in line!! The dad glances over and his eyes get real big and he races over to the table. I can't see, but...

    FS: Maggie!! Maggie no!! Don't eat your shoe!!!
    Me: Pfft!!!
    Mom: Ohhh...
    FS: Maggie...Maggie... Don't throw your shoes please.
    *thunkthunk*
    FS: Maggie...someone will trip on those. *picks up shoes and puts them on the bench*
    *thunk thunk*
    FS: Maggie...Maggie....Don't put your shoes on the table....Maggie....Maggie....*sighs and walks away*

    The kids banged on the wall, punched the picture on the wall, jumped on the table, climbed under the table, sat on the table and screamed. At one point, Maggie (I think...) wraps her arms around my neck and screams in my ear!! What does SuperDad do?

    FS: Maggie sit down please....kids....kids....kids....please sit.....kids....ple....nevermind....

    And what of his faithful sidekick SuperMom?

    MS: Honey, tell them to stop....and I want pickles, mustard and onion on that too....

    When they left, the picture was crooked, dirty footprints marked the table, charis even the wall, my ear was ringing, and the noice level dropped a few hundred decibles. My questions were:
    1) How did a couple have that many kids, so close in age?
    2) What makes them think "please stop" works on 3 year olds?!!

    They never even raised their voices! They said "please stop" like they were saying "please pass the salt".
    Answers: $1
    Correct Answers: $2
    Answers that require thought: $5
    Dumb looks are still free.

  • #2
    I'm afraid I don't have any comments that aren't suited for Fratching. Parents should have done a few things differently.
    To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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    • #3
      Quoth Mr Hero View Post
      I'm afraid I don't have any comments that aren't suited for Fratching. Parents should have done a few things differently.
      Likewise.

      What's with the rash of passive-ineffective parents lately?
      "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
      - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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      • #4
        Quoth Kisa View Post
        1) How did a couple have that many kids, so close in age?
        2) What makes them think "please stop" works on 3 year olds?!!
        From what I understand, and for all I know it can be an old wives tale, but it's very easy to wind up getting pregnant again right after having one kid - which is why Mr. Micer has already straight off said he's not so much as breathing on me for fear of us having another one after our son is born. I'm guessing mommy and daddy there didn't get that memo. Or they wanted one hell of a tax break... who the heck knows...

        And as for number two? All I'll say is... Cause they're special.

        ...ed. -kidding! kidding!-

        Prolly overwhelmed to the point where they're just not even trying with full-effort anymore (You sit with them. Oh hell no, you sit with them. I don't want to sit with them - uh... they'll do fine on their own for a minute or two...), or again, the first answer.
        Okay everyone, lets all point and laugh at him right about....

        Now.

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        • #5
          Quoth Kisa View Post
          I don't know what posessed me to sit at the table behind that one (with my back to them) but I did.
          I was with you until this point. I'm trying to wrap my mind around why you would put yourself right there next to them.

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          • #6
            Quoth Willis View Post
            I was with you until this point. I'm trying to wrap my mind around why you would put yourself right there next to them.
            The place was crowded that that table was one of 2 open spots. I guess I sat there cuz it was closest.... Never. Again. I rather enjoy my sanity(what's left of it)....hee ha hee hee hee
            Answers: $1
            Correct Answers: $2
            Answers that require thought: $5
            Dumb looks are still free.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Kisa View Post
              The place was crowded that that table was one of 2 open spots. I guess I sat there cuz it was closest.... Never. Again. I rather enjoy my sanity(what's left of it)....hee ha hee hee hee

              I kinda figured that was the reason. I was unsure because you said you didn't know what possessed you to do it. Whenever I sense any possible trouble or annoyance I always get my order to go cause sanity is priceless.

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              • #8
                Saying "Please stop" doesn't work because everyone knows that effective parenting is saying their name three times..."Tyler...TY-ler...TYLER!"

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                • #9
                  If the kids all looked to be the same age, it was probably fertility treatments gone wrong A friend of mine had IVF, and FIVE eggs implanted. She didn't think she could bring herself to get rid of ANY of them until I told her, "Look S, imagine 3am having FIVE SCREAMING BABIES all wanting to get on your boob at once." She kept 1, and is now in her eighth month and sleeps very well at night, thank you very much
                  GK/Kara/Jester fangirl.

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                  • #10
                    Maybe they were providing child care and we all know how many parents don't want you to discipline their little precious at all.

                    just a thought

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                    • #11
                      I've said it before and I'll say it again:

                      Just because you can have kids doesn't mean you should.
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                        I've said it before and I'll say it again:

                        Just because you can have kids doesn't mean you should.
                        Amen to that! No way would that fly if me and my sisters acted like that. We would've had our hides tanned.
                        I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                        Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                        Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                        • #13
                          "Please stop" works great for three year olds if they are being parented properly. Most of the time.

                          Mine always says "Yes, daddy"....... Or throws down a temper-tantrum, in which case he gets taken outside where it's no fun.
                          Last edited by Raveni; 06-10-2011, 04:39 PM. Reason: ...

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                          • #14
                            As we passed the table, all four of them starded banging the table real fast. The mom and dad were both in line.
                            They left FOUR kids under the age of 4 unattended in a crowded fast food establishment?

                            O_o

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                            • #15
                              Perhaps the OP could have screamed back in Maggie's ear?

                              I don't mean grab her or anything...don't lay a hand on the kids, because you're sure to hear "LET GO OF MY BABY!" and lots of hysterical screaming that way...but I'm sure the kid would not have been expecting that XD

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