Ye Gords. I spent waaaaaaaay to much time on this one.
Get called to carry out a dining table for a customer. She pulls up in a Honda Accord with Illinois plates. Folding down the rear seat, sliding the table partially into the trunk, and tying down the lid will be impossible because:
1). the trunk is full of crap
2). there's a CD changer or something protruding into the cargo area, and
3). she has to drive this table down to her home in Chicago (I was told later her parents lived in town; hence her presence at my store three hours away from her home)
So she asks me to try to lift the boxed table into the back seat. It doesn't fit. We go back inside because it's a windy morning, it's cold, and there are wolves after me.
At the service desk she asks to borrow a tape measure and measures her back seat. Then she comes inside and asks me to open the box so she can see how big the table top is, since that's the biggest piece.
As I'm opening the box she makes small talk with the service desk girls and myself:
Service desk girl: (as I'm cutting open the box) He' doing all this for you; maybe he can come home with you and put it together.
Customer: Yeah! Want to come down for a little vacation in Chicago? You'd probably have to become a Bears fan though.
Me: There are some depths to which I will not sink.
Service desk girls: HAHAHAHA BURN LOLZ
We get the table top out of the box and find it still can't fit in the back seat and allow the doors to close. We have to move the table top very gingerly, since the car apparently belongs to the customer's husband, and she says "he'll kill me if anything happens to these seats."
Then I come up with another option: recline the front paasenger seat as much as possible and try to angle the table top over the passenger seat and the rear seat. This doesn't work either. I'm outside with this woman and her table for close to half an hour, and she's close to tears.
So she had to put the table on hold for THREE WEEKS, until she can return from Chi-Town with her other, larger vehicle.
The woman was a real sweetie, but she happened to be a derp too. Oh well, nobody can say I didn't try.