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The Dead Bearded Dragon

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  • The Dead Bearded Dragon

    I almost never see people being rude outside of my own work but this one was almost surreal, it was really too bad he was unaware of everything other than his anger because I was mocking him the entire time I was in line behind him.

    Scene: A big local pet store.

    Cast:
    SC: Irate because he can't get cash for a dead bearded dragon that his girlfriend paid for with HER credit card. The system simply doesn't allow it.
    Cashier: Called a Manager by the time I got there.
    M: the Manager Calm, collected, and actually a little amused which was surprising.

    SC: Are you kidding me?
    M: No sir, I am not kidding you.
    SC: You mean to say that I drove 30 minutes with a dead bearded dragon in my car and you won't do anything about this?
    M: I'm sorry sir, but our system does not give me the option to do what you're asking for. I need the card number to put the money back on the card, I cannot do cash.
    SC: I was retail management for 5 years, don't you play these games with me! You don't want me to get loud in this store.

    (About here my thoughts were Please get loud in this store, I wanna cut you down. but he never did...)

    M: Sir without the card there's nothing I can do for you.
    SC: You are messing with the wrong people here, I will call people! I know people, I will call the ASPCA on you! You are selling sick bearded dragons and you have to do something about it! I want to speak to your corporate!
    M: We do not have a corporate, we are a family-owned business and you can call here and ask for [Name]. We do not willingly sell sick bearded dragons here.
    SC: Like hell you don't, your worker sold me a sick dragon and I want to talk to someone about it, I want him taken care of, I want you to DO something! He said that it was sick!
    M: ...Sir...okay...*sigh* We do not sell sick animals here. [I could see it in her mind what she was thinking: If the associate told you it was sick, why did you buy it? You're lying to me. You're lying and I can't say ANYTHING. We'll see how far you get with this...]

    He was still ranting and raving when I walked out the door. I should have stayed and stared at him for a little longer but I just loved how it went from wanting cash for it just because it was dead to some giant "you sell sick animals" thing after he couldn't get his way. Like...no dude, no.

    I really wish he would have heard me making fun of him, but the cashiers got a nice smile from my impressions.

  • #2
    He was probably just pinin' for the fjords.

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    • #3
      Maybe the dragon was really just playing How Not To Be Seen....
      "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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      • #4
        Poor little bearded dragon!
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Dragon theme song: "We gotta get outta this place, if it's the last thing we ever do..."
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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          • #6
            I bet that doofus didn't know the first thing about taking care of a bearded dragon and ended up poisoning the poor animal. Or he didn't provide it with a heat lamp. Both are plausible, in my opinion.

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            • #7
              Quoth Lachrymose View Post
              He was probably just pinin' for the fjords.
              I'm glad I wasn't the only one getting a serious Dead Parrot sketch vibe here.
              Last edited by SongsOfDragons; 01-04-2012, 12:33 PM. Reason: forgot a word... >.<
              "...Muhuh? *blink-blink* >_O *roll over* ZZZzzz......"

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              • #8
                I hope it ended with the cops "dragon" his ass to jail. :-)
                "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                • #9
                  I also received a Dead parrot vibe. For some reason I expected the cashier/owner to go "I never wanted to work in a pet shop. I wanted to be....a LUMBERJACK!"
                  The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                  Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                  • #10
                    Quoth fireheart View Post
                    I also received a Dead parrot vibe. For some reason I expected the cashier/owner to go "I never wanted to work in a pet shop. I wanted to be....a LUMBERJACK!"
                    Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia

                    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

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                    • #11
                      Quoth SongsOfDragons View Post
                      I'm glad I wasn't the only one getting a serious Dead Parrot sketch vibe here.
                      This dragon is no more. It has ceased to be.
                      To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Syriilord View Post
                        Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia

                        With my best girly by my side....so we sing sing.....SING......


                        Oohhhhhhhh......
                        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                        Now queen of USSR-Land...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                          This dragon is no more. It has ceased to be.
                          It's bereft of life, shuffled off this mortal coil, and joined the bleedin' Choir Invisible.
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth fireheart View Post
                            I also received a Dead parrot vibe. For some reason I expected the cashier/owner to go "I never wanted to work in a pet shop. I wanted to be....a LUMBERJACK!"
                            "I'm an Umberjack and I'm OK."
                            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                            • #15
                              Right off the bat, I can see a few reasons why this would NEED to be refused:

                              - Stolen card. Crook "A" buys pet using stolen card, one of the crooks poisons/otherwise kills pet, crook "B" returns "gift from GF that died" to store for cash. Innocent pet dies so that crooks can turn stolen credit card into cash.

                              - Sucky BF/GF wants cash instead of gift pet. Kills pet, returns it for cash. Innocent pet dies so that sucky BF/GF can get video game/shoes (yep, I know it's a stereotype) that they wanted.

                              - Abusive BF kills GF's newly purchased pet, returns it for cash. Innocent pet dies so that creep can gain personally by terrorizing GF and stealing from her.

                              Note the trend - innocent pet dying, sleaze getting what they want.
                              Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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