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US Cellular is your christmas!

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  • US Cellular is your christmas!

    Once upon a time, I was one day out of training. I knew the system pretty well, and had a mentor on hand. The first day, you mostly listen, but do have to take at least one call. I had one that was just a payment, thought "I can do this." And then...

    One thing you learn swiftly at a cellphone company are the obvious warning signs that the call won't go well. $800 bills are one. "Why is my bill EIGHT HUNDRED dollars?" I saw my life flash before my eyes.

    Thankfully, this lady knew exactly why and how her little darlings had run up the bill. Their dad lived outside the coverage area, and they visited him... and kept using the phones. Didn't quite stay within the minutes either. So roaming... and overage.

    After going over about half of it, I figured out, she wasn't mad at me. She also didn't really need me to explain a thing to her. She needed someone official to verify. Her kids were almost silent and in the room with her. By the end of the call, I could tell that one of them had twigged to the fact that he'd done wrong, looking at the pages of the bill that applied to him. And where the calls were... and how much the roaming cost.

    My heart, of course, this being an irate caller when I'm on my first day out of training, is trying to communicate in morse code... and may just be trying to speed up to 2400 baud modem speeds.

    And she had the greatest line to berate her kids: "US Cellular is your christmas". She'd explained the phone to them before the trip, and there was no fixing it now. "You kids will get no christmas gifts this year. I cannot afford this, and I will not have it on my credit. US Cellular is your christmas. And if your daddy sends you any money, it's going towards this too. I'm gonna have a talk with him." You have to appreciate the folks who get highly articulate when they're upset.

    Afterwards, since my blood was mostly adrenaline, I ran around the building... mid-winter, no coat. Didn't feel the cold. But I knew... that woman was the best irate caller I would ever have. And I got her on the first day. Once I could think again and my heart wasn't doing its impression of a 60-cycle hum, I started to appreciate that.
    There is no .sig that still seems clever 50 posts later.
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