SCs of the Renaissiance

[Squeaksmyalias]

My ren faire season has started up again, due to a super hot weekend people were a bit cranky, and it seemed to have attracted the SCs by the dozens.

So, words I heard on our first weekend.

1: " You don't need to listen to her, she is just a wench." (This was spat our with utter disgust, the "wench" then goes to get security, security kicks idiot out. Also I should note, the "wench" was gently telling a little boy he wasn't allowed to go onto the active joust field or he could get hurt, but saying after he could pet the knight's horses. At first I felt bad for the kid, but then I remembered he was a terror anyway most of the day.

2: "Ugh you have to cook my food! I've been here for half an hour!!!!!!" ( Said after a few minute wait, with a horrible long line at a food both that makes homemade items fresh.)

3: "Real swords are 20 pounds or more, these guys are wimps!" (female sword fighter then offers sword asking if the patron cares to fight, he for some reason declines....wimp.) btw swords historically have been up to 6lbs tops, sometimes heavier ones are made but they appeared to be for show, you know in case they were lacking in their manhood. From what I understand, mostly that came about because of rumors, or masters of other fighting styles making fun of other fighters. I'm no professional, I'm just forced to listen to my friends ramble.

4: This wasn't said, but a patron decided he was going to stick his hand down a lady's corset. Things to point out, 1) You should never do that anyway. 2) You should never do it at a place where 90% of the women there have some trained fighting. 3) You should never do it when the woman you are doing it to is A) trained fighter b) exhausted from a hot day, c) been dealing with cranky patrons all day and would happily haul off and hit one. and finally d) has a short tempter. The patron is still alive, but the female officer who escorted him off the grounds ignored his cries of abuse, since she witnessed it and was like the rest of us in a poor mood from dealing with the heat all day.

5) " Why did you grab my child!!!" Said to me, as I was grabbing the kid before it ran out in front of the horses on parade.

6) "Blargh blargh blargh, rabble rabble, they cut me off at the beer stand, blargh blargh that girl doesn't have big enough boobs to work here, rabble rabble." (This is why we can't have newbies at the beer stand, they don't know when to cut them off.)

We kicked a few people out this weekend, I swear it might have been a record for us. It was mostly people trying to abuse staff. Another was a 15 year old (she looked more like 12) who decided proper renaissance attire was fishnets, hooker boots, a sheer skirt over her panties and a VERY revealing top. The owners of the faire had her promptly collected by the female officer, gave her a shirt, sat her in the office and proceeded to call her parents. Let's just say, she isn't seeing the friend who loaned her those clothes anymore, from what I understand she walked to the fair grounds, she is lucky she wasn't mistaken as a hooker, or taken by someone. After she left the owner called his daughters and said if they ever dressed like that he is willing to go to jail, and they should know that.

Hopefully we finish our run without cranky people, I can dream right?

[XCashier]

We kicked a few people out this weekend, I swear it might have been a record for us. It was mostly people trying to abuse staff.

Holy moly! These people pay big money just to act like asses and end up thrown out. How stupid can you get?!

Don't blame the performers one bit for being cranky, garb is hot, stupid people are annoying as hell, and everybody still has the right to not be molested, even if they're wearing clothes that are several centuries out of style!

Another was a 15 year old (she looked more like 12) who decided proper renaissance attire was fishnets, hooker boots, a sheer skirt over her panties and a VERY revealing top.

Not the first time I've heard of such a thing. I don't know if it's ignorance or wanting to show off, but so many faire newbies think that a faux fur bikini or attire like that little girl is "renaissance".

[Slave to the Phone]

I loves me some Ren Faires. There are so many idiots that think that they can do things like have a girl wearing bits of nothing and on a leash and it will be acceptable.

One of the best things I saw was a couple of guys in full garb, who carried a big plastic dragon head in and sat next to it and held up bark signs with old English writing asking the women to bend over. If a toddler would come over to look at the dragon head, they would give the kid a piece of chalk that they had shaped into a tooth, tell the kid that it was a magic dragon tooth that they should take home so they could write a wish on the wall.

[Miss Fatale]

3: "Real swords are 20 pounds or more, these guys are wimps!" (female sword fighter then offers sword asking if the patron cares to fight, he for some reason declines....wimp.) btw swords historically have been up to 6lbs tops, sometimes heavier ones are made but they appeared to be for show, you know in case they were lacking in their manhood. From what I understand, mostly that came about because of rumors, or masters of other fighting styles making fun of other fighters. I'm no professional, I'm just forced to listen to my friends ramble.

Yup! Historically, swords were 2-4 pounds, 10 at most. The Metropolitan Museum of Art has a fantastic page about medieval European arms and armor.

[Gizmo]

4: This wasn't said, but a patron decided he was going to stick his hand down a lady's corset. Things to point out, 1) You should never do that anyway. 2) You should never do it at a place where 90% of the women there have some trained fighting. 3) You should never do it when the woman you are doing it to is A) trained fighter b) exhausted from a hot day, c) been dealing with cranky patrons all day and would happily haul off and hit one. and finally d) has a short tempter. The patron is still alive, but the female officer who escorted him off the grounds ignored his cries of abuse, since she witnessed it and was like the rest of us in a poor mood from dealing with the heat all day.

I had a guest star at a scifi con do that to me and turn and apologise to my boyfriend of the time... (The star in question was a known letch though.)

[2gigch1]

Ren faire- the place where a reasonable attempt at historical accuracy & good entertainment collides with the drooling masses with the usual results.

[NoMoreRetail]

Yikes! My Brother in law is getting married at one this weekend, so I am sure I will see my share of sucky people while there!

Another was a 15 year old (she looked more like 12) who decided proper renaissance attire was fishnets, hooker boots, a sheer skirt over her panties and a VERY revealing top.

All I have to say about that is she is damn lucky someone didn't snatch her! Stupid, Stupid little girl!

[fireheart]

and I am glad that my viking clothing does not involve a corset of any description

Although at our version of a Medieval Fair this year, some items from our splinter groups got stolen. And they were choosey about it too, it was all the nice stuff that was very expensive

[Cat Herder]

the female officer who escorted him off the grounds ignored his cries of abuse

Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system! COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[Cat Herder]

I had a guest star at a scifi con do that to me and turn and apologise to my boyfriend of the time... (The star in question was a known letch though.)

Does his name rhyme with "Marlan Hellison"?

[Jay 2K Winger]

Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system! COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

Bloody peasant!

[Squeaksmyalias]

Yikes! My Brother in law is getting married at one this weekend, so I am sure I will see my share of sucky people while there!

Actually this was the first time we've really had this much of an issue, it had to be the heat. Normally it's either someone some how came in already drunk and tried to pick a fight, or someone tried to man handle the wrong person, but from what I've heard for us at least that is a once a season event. You will find for the most part people are pretty good, and I'm sure you will have a heck of a time with the cast and crew. Rennies tend to be very friendly and welcoming and sometimes from lots of different places.. Unless you try to harm someone or you are a big jerk, then they will skin you verbally.

My favorite with the people in the bits of leather, fur, chain and they are unlikely to be wearing the proper clothes underneath, who think that is great ren wear is when it's raining and you KNOW that cannot be fun to wear. We had one guy who had chain on, and I swear he was rusting as it was raining, he was also wearing t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, but had a chain mail shirt over it all....sigh.
Actually one year we took pity on one girl who seemed very lets say naive, She showed up wearing a leather skirt and leather bikini top with chain mail and fur, actually I think she made her own garb it was nice too, except for it being silly. It ended up raining like hell that day and the poor girl was shivering, soaked and turning a bit blue, her jerk of a boyfriend didn't want to leave, so someone took her to their booth, sat her in front of a heater and gave her some clothes to wear. She spent the day with them, ended up buying things from them because she was so grateful and got a good lesson on what is proper garb and she showed up the next season with an adorable outfit that was much more comfy for her to wear.

Garb issues happen to us all, especially when you are learning, but if you are falling out of your corset and the women around you REALLY feel the need to go over and shove you back into your corset, it's time to rethink what you are wearing or not get laced in so tightly. Also note, breathing is GOOD, you shouldn't pass out or be in pain from a corset. I wore mine for 10 hours in the heat and was fine and not falling out of my top.

Oh we do have a patron who is...lets say crazy. She is pissed one of the characters isn't here this year, and is loudly and at inappropriately voicing her disapproval of it. She is also stalking just about every cast member and show around the fair grounds, similar to what she did to that character. It's kinda sad we do think something is wrong with her, but with the amount of energy she is putting into all of this, we expect she will be asked to leave the next time she is at the faire, it's making everyone uncomfortable. I am proud of everyone, the cast is handling it with grace and being very nice to her, but you can tell they are trying to shake her when she is following them to their next set.

[Redbeard]

Oh yeah, first timers who don't get that "Fantasy art designs" do not actually equate to good Faire garb. Good for a con with a controlled environment and climate control, not so good in the blistering sun and/or freezing rain

But it CAN be fun to look at. rowr.

[LillFilly]

Garb issues happen to us all, especially when you are learning, but if you are falling out of your corset and the women around you REALLY feel the need to go over and shove you back into your corset, it's time to rethink what you are wearing or not get laced in so tightly.

Oh ye Gods! I was at one of my LARPS and this girl made me feel so uncomfortable because she was wearing a leather corset/armor piece that was meant to be worn with a shirt as it didn't come-up high enough to, um, cover 'everything' and I kept getting an eyeful of Areola every time she moved!

I'm glad you guys don't have to put-up with patrons' nonsense and being abused; too much effort goes into a Ren Faire to have a bad time.

Hmm, maybe in the case of the woman who got groped it almost became a 'Rend Faire!' Ba dum-dum!

[Squeaksmyalias]

Oh ye Gods! I was at one of my LARPS and this girl made me feel so uncomfortable because she was wearing a leather corset/armor piece that was meant to be worn with a shirt as it didn't come-up high enough to, um, cover 'everything' and I kept getting an eyeful of Areola every time she moved!

Actually the woman falling out of her corset was walking by a friend of mine who does costuming for a couple places. My friend left her booth walked over and said "We need to fix this." Tugged the woman to her booth the basically helped her shove herself back into her corset, then scolded her. The woman was just a sneeze away from showing the world what she has, and it would NOT have been pretty. Corsets are fun to wear, but when you are not wearing a top under the corset, you really need to watch yourself.