Customer called today, and wanted to have some special arrangments made for him, and him alone. Edited down quite a bit for length, he was very persistent. Every time you find a (...), it means I was interrupted by his shouting:
SC (In thick accent): "I'm leaving for my home country tomorrow morning, I want you to suspend all my monthly bills 'till October"
Me: "Umm, I'm not sure we can do that, but I'll check with my supervisor"
*checks, gets a negative, as expected*
Me: "No, I'm sorry, we can't delay billing for that long. However, if you get an e-billing solution..."
SC: "What! No, no, no. I leave tomorrow, why you can not do this?"
Me: "Because, we can not just 'suspend' billing for anyone who calls in and says they want it. It would not be good business"
SC: "But I'm not going to use anything! Why you have to send bill for things I don't get?!"
Me: "Our services will be provided regardless if you use them or not... "
SC: "Why is this so difficult! I want you to not send me any bills for three months, then, in October, send me bill for everything! Last year, this was not a problem! I called, and you set it up!" (Complete lie, there was no record of any such thing, and it is not done in any case)
"Like I said, I cannot do this. We simply can not stop billing you at your convenience"
SC: "If not, you
people have to work out a solution for me!"
"I'm trying. Right now, the only solution I can think of is if you get an arrangement with your bank that we can draw the bills directly from your account..."
SC: "No! I live in small island! There are no banks here" (this was actually true) "I can't get to the city in time to go to bank!"
In the end, I had to hand him over to my supervisor, who told him the exact same things, rolling her eyes all the time. And he did not
get any arrangements from us.
What I wanted to say through the entire conversation: "Hey, d*ckhead! Maybe if you made your arrangements early, in good time
before travelling, you would not have these problems!"