Would you like to eat off the floor?

[customersruinmylife]

Personal Space Fail

I arrived at work half an hour before my shift started. I was hungry, and decided to have something to eat. I sat down at a table near the bar and started to have my meal. A middle aged couple came into the pub. They looked a bit lost.

SC: Shall we get something to eat?
SC1: There's a menu!

They came over to my table and grabbed the menu. I was a bit confused because there were four tables around me that were free. But no. They wanted the menu off my table. They then decided to read the entire menu, while standing over me. They were literally standing over me. I was trying to eat and had two heavy breathing people scanning the menu and reading it aloud. Also, there is no way they could have known I was staff, as I wasn't in uniform.

I stopped eating and stared at them. They were oblivious. They were right in my personal space and I was getting agitated.

They finally went to the bar and ordered, not before dropping the menu back on the table. It landed in my meal.

Changing Your Mind Fail

Lady ordered a pie. Ten minutes later she came back up to the bar with the meal.

SC: I've just noticed you sell burgers here!

We have a massive three foot sign promoting burgers. It says "BURGERS BURGERS BURGERS!!!!", has a giant drawing of a burger and it was next to her table.

SC: I don't want this anymore!
Me: Well I'm afraid that I cannot refund the pie. I will have to charge you for a burger as well, as it has already been cooked.
SC: But I'd much rather have a burger!
Me: You will have to pay for it. That pie is going to go to waste now.
SC: But I don't want a pie anymore! I want a burger!
Me: *blank stare*
SC: Fine then. This is cold. I want a new meal to replace it. I want a burger.

Manager was behind me.

M: Are you for real?
SC: Who are you?
M: The manager who just heard what you said.
SC: But this is cold!
M: Customersruinmylife, get me a temperature probe from the kitchen please.
SC: Fine it's not cold! It's just...not to my taste. I want a burger.
M: You will have to pay for it.
SC: Fine! I'll pay! But this is ridiculous!

She actually paid. She left the pie sitting at the end of the bar.

SC: I guess you will be eating MY PIE once you go on your break then???
Me: I don't like pie.

I actually love our pies. I just wanted to upset her

Do you want to eat off the floor?

The shift picked up and was Verrry busy.Two of us were running the floor and running around like idiots. Unfortunately, I barged into the kitchen just as CW was walking out with two meals. We bumped into each other and she accidentally dropped one of the meals on the floor in full view of all the customers. Crap.

Me: What table number were you heading for? I'll sort this out.

She told me. There were four meals altogether, one of which was now on the floor. The table in question actually witnessed it and were laughing. I went over.

SC: Don't tell me. That was my meal that just went flying!
Me: Unfortunately it was.

They all laughed. They seemed pretty chilled out about the whole thing.

Me: The rest of your meals are ready and good, but its going to take between five and ten minutes for a new meal to be prepared.

SC suddenly looked shocked.

Me: I can bring the rest of the meals out now just so they are not sitting under the heatlamp-
SC: But that means we can't eat together!
Me: I'll get you guys a free round of drinks as compensation.

The other three customers keenly nodded and accepted.

SC: But I don't understand. Why do I have to wait?
Me: Because your meal is on the floor sir. We need to prepare a new one from scratch.
SC: But that's not good enough!
Me: Well there's not much else I can do. Unless you want the meal that is on the floor...

I looked over and saw CW sweeping his meal into a dustpan. The SC looked over and stared. For a few seconds, I was actually very worried that he was going to accept that.

SC: Fine. Just fine. I'll wait

He sulked. The rest of his group found it hilarious.

Eat Pub Food! Nothing else!

Kitchen co-worker went to go on his break. He came out the kitchen and walked up and down the bar.

Me: Are you OK KW?
KW: Yeah, I'm just looking at what bar snacks we have.
Me: Are you not getting a meal on your break?
KW: I'm not hungry enough for a full meal. I just want a little snack.
Me: Ah right.

KW picked up a bag of nuts and walked out the back. A customer at the bar piped up.

SC: Was that the cook????
Me: Yes it was.
SC: Why isn't he having a meal???
Me: He just said he's not hungry.
SC: That's terrible! He isn't even willing to eat the food you sell!
Me: OK.
SC: That just tells me everything about how you prepare your food. If your own cook isn't even willing to eat it, then it must be disgusting!
Me: It's not that he isn't willing. He just isn't hungry.
SC: I don't believe him. I bet it's because he can't bring himself to eat the food because he knows exactly what happens to it.
Me: And what do you think happens to it?
SC: Just...poorly prepared.
Me: I can assure you, our food is not "poorly prepared". I eat here quite regularly, even when I am not working.
SC: Well then you should get the staff to set and example, and MAKE THEM eat the food on their break!
Me: I don't think force feeding is part of their work contract.
SC: Are you making fun of me?
Me: Of course not!

He scoffed and walked away.

[Marmalady]

SC: Are you making fun of me?
Me: Of course! Can't waste good raw material like that!

Fixed that for ya

[thehuckster]

The first group of customers really annoyed me, reading about them. I can't stand people who are so obliviously annoying like that, especially putting down your menu into your food like that. I mean, that's almost like something that would happen to the protagonist from The Sixth Sense. Have you checked your body for any wounds?

[hinakiba777]

They finally went to the bar and ordered, not before dropping the menu back on the table. It landed in my meal.

*Twitch* Alright bad enough that they just stood over you while you were eating, invading your bubble, but to drop the menu so that it lands on your mean. That is just.... I mean were you able to finish eating or was your meal just ruin at that point?

SC: I guess you will be eating MY PIE once you go on your break then???

Everytime I've worked at a place that served food, the rule was that if the customers didn't eat it, then it went in the garbage. The whole thing drove me batty. Someone would send back a whole untouched steak dinner and we had to throw it in the rubbish. When I worked at a movie theatre, we used to have several garbage bags full of popcorn at the end of the night. I couldn't stand it, at all.

SC: But that means we can't eat together!

I definitely understand the feeling. I was once as a restaurant where they forgot to place my order with the kitchen staff, so I had to wait for my meal to be prepared. My friends started their meals while I waited. A few actually finished before my plate arrived and got really antsy to go. It kind of ruins the meal.

[
Me: Well there's not much else I can do. Unless you want the meal that is on the floor...

I looked over and saw CW sweeping his meal into a dustpan. The SC looked over and stared. For a few seconds, I was actually very worried that he was going to accept that.

SC: Fine. Just fine. I'll wait

Ew....Just ew. what would you have done if he HAD accepted?!

SC: Well then you should get the staff to set and example, and MAKE THEM eat the food on their break!

No matter how great the food is, I can't imagine eating food from the same place every single break everyday I worked. Especially if I'm just not hungry enough to have a meal.

[Draper Mel]

She actually paid. She left the pie sitting at the end of the bar.

SC: I guess you will be eating MY PIE once you go on your break then???
Me: I don't like pie.

I thought she didn't want it. But suddenly it's hers because she thinks you're going to eat it??

Crazy. Ass. B*tch.

[Mriswith]

SC: I guess you will be eating MY PIE once you go on your break then???

Me: Nope. Our pies are good, but I'd rather have a burger.

I am such an evil man sometimes

[MoonCat]

That first story....Either you went invisible or they were members of the tribe known as The Oblivious. They're everywhere.

The guy whose meal fell on the floor..."That's not good enough." Oh, really? Well, let me just fire up the time machine so I can go back in time 30 minutes and cook your meal again, then zip forward in time to just....about....NOW!!

[draco664]

Me: I don't think force feeding is part of their work contract.
SC: Are you making fun of me?

No, I'm making fun of the retarded words coming out of your mouth.

[XCashier]

That first story....Either you went invisible or they were members of the tribe known as The Oblivious. They're everywhere.

Yes, and it's not known how they manage to survive to the present time, as their ancestors should have been eaten by the saber toothed tigers they so blatantly ignored, then dropped their garbage on.

Seriously, I just can't fathom it. How do you not notice other people around you?

[Andara Bledin]

Seriously, I just can't fathom it. How do you not notice other people around you?

You have to be so incredibly self-absorbed that the only time other people around you even register is when you need them to do things for you.

^-.-^

[wolfie]

Lady ordered a pie. Ten minutes later she came back up to the bar with the meal.

SC: I've just noticed you sell burgers here!

We have a massive three foot sign promoting burgers. It says "BURGERS BURGERS BURGERS!!!!", has a giant drawing of a burger and it was next to her table.

SC: I don't want this anymore!
Me: Well I'm afraid that I cannot refund the pie. I will have to charge you for a burger as well, as it has already been cooked.
SC: But I'd much rather have a burger!
Me: You will have to pay for it. That pie is going to go to waste now.
SC: But I don't want a pie anymore! I want a burger!

For the sake of non-Brits reading this, am I safe to assume that by "pie", you were referring to something along the lines of "shepard's pie" or "steak and kidney pie", rather than "apple pie" or "coconut cream pie"? After all, on this side of the pond, "pie" is normally a dessert item. Of course, there are probably some customers to whom you'd like to serve a "cow pie".

SC: But I don't understand. Why do I have to wait?
Me: Because your meal is on the floor sir. We need to prepare a new one from scratch.
SC: But that's not good enough!
Me: Well there's not much else I can do. Unless you want the meal that is on the floor...

I looked over and saw CW sweeping his meal into a dustpan. The SC looked over and stared. For a few seconds, I was actually very worried that he was going to accept that.

If he had accepted that, it would have fit in with the mangled disclaimer "We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone".

[Ironclad Alibi]

For the sake of non-Brits reading this, am I safe to assume that by "pie", you were referring to something along the lines of "shepard's pie" or "steak and kidney pie", rather than "apple pie" or "coconut cream pie"? After all, on this side of the pond, "pie" is normally a dessert item.

In the US we also have meat pies such as chicken pot pies and the like.

[dalesys]

Lady ordered a pie. Ten minutes later she came back up to the bar with the meal.

With snake-like eye he shouted "PIE!" an' struck 'er o'er the head with the tray!

...it was in that moment Siren Pawnitoff attained enlightenment...

[/Incredible String Band]

[Daskinor]

Few years ago the waitress dropped my plate a few feat from the table. Everyone was laughing, thought it was the funniest thing ever. Manager came over, said it be 15 min for my meal, if we wanted to wait. And the manager offered us a round of drinks.

My response, "screw them they get to eat. Just bring me their free beers."

The manager did bring them beers, but I got a thing of beer I can only compare to a "das boot"

Lets just say I wasn't walking straight on the way out.

[morgana]

Los Oblivious would have gotten their shins kicked. Hey, if they can pretend they didn't see me, I can pretend I didn't see them. Fair's fair.