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Two Blonde Jokes (I'm also blonde)
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:45 PM
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fireheart fireheart is offline
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Default Two Blonde Jokes (I'm also blonde)

And yes I'm blonde, so this isn't meant to be offensive.

Joke The First

A blonde walks up to a coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a drink. She looks amazed and runs away to get more coins. She returns and continues to feed the machine coins and the machine of course continues to pop out drinks. Someone else comes up and watches her for a while before tapping her on the shoulder and asking if someone else can have a go. The blonde immediately spins around and shouts in the person's face "Can't you see I'm winning?"

Joke The Second

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were due to be executed. They chose death by firing squad.
So the redhead is brought out first and placed into position. As the men take their positions, she looks around and screams out "EARTHQUAKE!" The men are confused and in her confusion, she escapes.
The brunette is then brought out and placed into position. The men also take their positions, so she looks around and screams out "HURRICANE!" The men are confused again, so the brunette also escapes.
Now the blonde has been watching the events unfold and she gets the idea. So she's brought out and placed into position. The men take their positions for the last time and the blonde looks around, then screams "FIRE!"
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Old 09-15-2012, 10:44 AM
sms001 sms001 is offline
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Quote:
Quoth fireheart View Post
And yes I'm blonde, so this isn't meant to be offensive.
Have gotten almost ALL my blonde jokes from blondes.

Here's one for your repertoire:

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?


A. So brunettes can remember them.

  #3  
Old 09-16-2012, 12:46 AM
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I'm allowed to tell true blonde stories because I used to be one...


Until i got better.
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Old 09-21-2012, 04:34 PM
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Quote:
Quoth dalesys View Post
I'm allowed to tell true blonde stories because I used to be one...


Until i got better.
You dyed your hair?

Isn't that artificial intelligence?
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Old 09-22-2012, 03:04 AM
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My all time (so far) favorite blonde joke (and yes, I'm blonde)

Two blondes walk into a building....
You'd think one of them would have seen it.

  #6  
Old 09-22-2012, 04:22 PM
TheSHAD0W TheSHAD0W is offline
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Do you know why there aren't any blonde Klingons?


<Puts on a vapid grin and tosses head side-to-side> Shoulder spikes!

  #7  
Old 09-23-2012, 05:15 AM
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what is a blonde with 2 braincells called?

Pregnant...lol
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Old 09-23-2012, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
Quoth dalesys View Post
Until i got better.
Quote:
Quoth Nurian View Post
You dyed your hair?
Went brown in preteen... But it's been going more and more really light blonde the last 10 years...
Senility isn't much different.
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  #9  
Old 09-23-2012, 11:05 PM
TheSHAD0W TheSHAD0W is offline
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How do you kill a blonde with a scratch-and-sniff sticker?

Paste it on the bottom of a pool...



Why is a blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning...

It swells overnight...



Why shouldn't you give blondes coffee breaks?

They take too long to retrain...

  #10  
Old 09-24-2012, 06:50 AM
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DeltaSierra DeltaSierra is offline
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I'm a blonde, and love blonde jokes.

One day while driving along a blonde sees another blonde in the middle of a wheat field rowing in a boat. So she stops and yells to get her attention and asks her what she's doing. The blonde in the rowboat yells "What does it look like, you moron? I'm paddling through an ocean of wheat!" The first blonde yells "It's blondes like you that give all us blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!"

------------

A man comes home to find his wife crying in the living room. He asks her what's wrong and she sobs "I know I've been a ditz lately, and I wanted to show you that I can be smart too! I've been working on a puzzle of a rooster all afternoon, but no matter how hard I try I just can't figure it out!"

She brings him into the kitchen, and he and looks at the table, and studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “Its okay darling, I know you've been trying very hard and I'm extremely proud of you. I want you to sit down and dry your eyes. I'm going to fix you a nice cup of tea and then..." he says with a big sigh,


"We'll put the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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