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Recap: I work one night a week at a small rehab hospital on the campus of a larger medical center.
Emergency Roadside: I get a call from one of these people who needs to tell me everything about herself when all I need to know is which patient she wants. She tells me her name is "Wife Patient" and she is at the store to get some things for her husband who is a patient and she is having car trouble and she needs to be connected to "Husband Patient." Even though I doubt he'll be able to help her from his hospital bed I connected her to his room.
She calls back about a half hour/hour later and basically says the same thing over again, only instead of asking to talk to her husband she asks me if we have any kind of service that can pick her up.
Me: Is the patient with you? (I knew she'd been talking to him in his room, but JUST IN CASE)
Wife: No, but he is a patient there.
Me: So you're asking if the hospital offers emergency roadside assistance?
Wife: Yes.
To speed the story up I tell her no, we do not, she asks who she can call, I tell her AAA. She is not a member. I tell her to call the non-emergency police number and maybe they can help. I've been a member of AAA forever so I honestly don't know who else to call. Luckily it was still daylight and the place where she was stranded is a big box retailer in an incredibly well lit, well patrolled shopping center. I am sure the big box retailer could've helped her a lot more than I could, since I was sitting 20 minutes away at a desk I am not allowed to leave for three more hours.
Now, maybe there are large hospitals that do have roadside assistance. The large hospital that we are loosely affiliated with does not, never has. We do have a hospital van and maintenance folks who go above and beyond, but they were not in house at the time and I doubt they would've gone that far above and beyond.
High-Profile Patients: We had a super high profile patient recently who was under an alias. Most times when a patient is under an alias there is also an approved visitor list and the visitors have to know the alias (often I don't know the patient's real name) and present ID. With every alias patient we are very cautious. I think you get the point.
Now, in general when patients are discharged there is a special code called over the paging system, let's call it Code Fern (not the real name). It's very sweet--everyone in the hospital who is available reports to the area and lines up, cheers, and if it's ok even hugs the patient as he leaves. It's a production and it draws a LOT of attention.
so this super high-profile patient whose identity must be secret at all times and whose spouse would come in through back doors in order to avoid unnecessary attention is ready for discharge. They call a Code Fern.
I guess if they're going to break confidentiality and draw attention best to do it as the patient is leaving, eh?
Ending on a good note: We are selling small items to raise money for a cause. They are out on display. A young girl (6? 8? I'm bad with guessing a kid's age) asks if she can have one. I tell her no, they are $1 each and the money goes to <charity>. she turns to her mom and says "I'm going to raise a dollar!" and as they walk out is telling her mom all the ways she can raise the money in order to buy lots of items to support charity. It was very sweet.
Emergency Roadside: I get a call from one of these people who needs to tell me everything about herself when all I need to know is which patient she wants. She tells me her name is "Wife Patient" and she is at the store to get some things for her husband who is a patient and she is having car trouble and she needs to be connected to "Husband Patient." Even though I doubt he'll be able to help her from his hospital bed I connected her to his room.
She calls back about a half hour/hour later and basically says the same thing over again, only instead of asking to talk to her husband she asks me if we have any kind of service that can pick her up.
Me: Is the patient with you? (I knew she'd been talking to him in his room, but JUST IN CASE)
Wife: No, but he is a patient there.
Me: So you're asking if the hospital offers emergency roadside assistance?
Wife: Yes.
To speed the story up I tell her no, we do not, she asks who she can call, I tell her AAA. She is not a member. I tell her to call the non-emergency police number and maybe they can help. I've been a member of AAA forever so I honestly don't know who else to call. Luckily it was still daylight and the place where she was stranded is a big box retailer in an incredibly well lit, well patrolled shopping center. I am sure the big box retailer could've helped her a lot more than I could, since I was sitting 20 minutes away at a desk I am not allowed to leave for three more hours.
Now, maybe there are large hospitals that do have roadside assistance. The large hospital that we are loosely affiliated with does not, never has. We do have a hospital van and maintenance folks who go above and beyond, but they were not in house at the time and I doubt they would've gone that far above and beyond.
High-Profile Patients: We had a super high profile patient recently who was under an alias. Most times when a patient is under an alias there is also an approved visitor list and the visitors have to know the alias (often I don't know the patient's real name) and present ID. With every alias patient we are very cautious. I think you get the point.
Now, in general when patients are discharged there is a special code called over the paging system, let's call it Code Fern (not the real name). It's very sweet--everyone in the hospital who is available reports to the area and lines up, cheers, and if it's ok even hugs the patient as he leaves. It's a production and it draws a LOT of attention.
so this super high-profile patient whose identity must be secret at all times and whose spouse would come in through back doors in order to avoid unnecessary attention is ready for discharge. They call a Code Fern.
I guess if they're going to break confidentiality and draw attention best to do it as the patient is leaving, eh?Ending on a good note: We are selling small items to raise money for a cause. They are out on display. A young girl (6? 8? I'm bad with guessing a kid's age) asks if she can have one. I tell her no, they are $1 each and the money goes to <charity>. she turns to her mom and says "I'm going to raise a dollar!" and as they walk out is telling her mom all the ways she can raise the money in order to buy lots of items to support charity. It was very sweet.
That's cute.
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