"It's in the Attic"

[Dips]

This guy just made my day.

Me: [opening speech] How may I help you?

SC: I have a version of your [software] about three years old. Will that run on Vista?

Me: I'm afraid not. The only version which works on Vista is the current version, [version number].

SC: Really? Even if I have [prior version blah] and never used it? [First of all [prior version blah] is NOT three years old, it was shipping between late 2004 and mid 2006. And second of all how would not using it magically make it Vista-compatible?]

Me: Yes. If you give me your serial number, I can provide a quote for updating to the latest version.

SC: I don't have it installed so I don't know it.

Me: No problem. You can find on the outside of the box.

SC: I can't get to the box. It's in the attic. Why won't you give me a quote? [Sooooo. You don't know the serial number because the box is inaccessible, but you happened to memorize the exact version number you gave me ten seconds ago? What would happen if I asked you what color the box was?]

Me: You will need the serial number when you purchase the update and I really can't provide an accurate quotation without it.

SC: What is it? $100?

Me: The price depends on the serial number.

SC: Just give me a ballpark.

Me: It could be anywhere for from free to $300 depending on your serial number.

SC: Look. I'm trying to find out how much this will cost me. Why can't you give me some idea of what you're going to charge?

Me: [I've had it.]. OK. Your price is $300 plus shipping, if you provide the serial number when you order. Otherwise, it's $600 for a new license.

SC: I'm not paying that much! No way!

Me: [cheerfully] OK. Goodbye.

[click]
[click]

Nutbar.

[Hobgoblin]

Wait, he paid $600 for a license that then sat in his attic? WOW.

[Dips]

Either that, or he's got an illegal copy and made up an excuse for not being able to easily identify his license.

You gotta give him points for creativity. I've never heard that one before.

Of course I'm going to start using it to avoid doing things I don't want to...

"Hey, Dips? Could you grab a beer for me?"

"No. I'm in the attic."

"Mom? Can I borrow the car?"

"No. It's in the attic."

"License and registration, ma'am?"

"Sorry, officer. They're in the attic."

[Spiffy McMoron]

SC: I'm not paying that much! No way!

Yet...you already have, and you have used it a grand total of (by your own admission)...zero times. Nice to see that you still have the concept of "value for your dollar" somewhere. I think it might be in the attic...

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

This is one of those questions that doesn't really require an answer, but here goes...
If he's had this software (unused) in his attic all this time, why is he so high on getting an upgrade for it?
He can NOT use it for absolutely free!

[BookstoreEscapee]

SC: Really? Even if I have [prior version blah] and never used it? [First of all [prior version blah] is NOT three years old, it was shipping between late 2004 and mid 2006. And second of all how would not using it magically make it Vista-compatible?]

Well, if it's fresh from the box, it won't be tired and therefore will have more energy to run and keep up with Vista.

Right?

[tollbaby]

Well, if it's fresh from the box, it won't be tired and therefore will have more energy to run and keep up with Vista.

Right?

omg that was the funniest thing I've read all day!!!!!