Xmas Brings Naughty Parkers

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

please tell me he didn't get away with driving without a license?

Likely they looked up his name in the records. I was once pulled over for a dead tag light and I had recently lost my license. Whole damn wallet in fact. No idea where that @#$%er went to.

But it's on a Friday night the DMV was closed until Tuesday (Monday was a holiday) and I had no way of getting the replacement.

They looked up the fact that I did have a clean and valid license in the system (it helped that I have my number memorized) and had my hospital ID on me. So I just got a warning about both the tag light and the license and a stern waggled finger to get my license replaced when the DMV opened on Tuesday.

With the computer look up ability, not having one's license on you is a ticket-able offence but the officers have a lot of discretion as long as you have a valid one in the system.

SC -Okay, look man, so it was 15 minutes or whatever, I was only here for 2 seconds to just drop someone off. Just put it down so I can go

That was stupidity that equals the destructive power of the Death Star.

"It was as if millions of brain cells cried out and were suddenly silenced. "

[Polenicus]

*Ahem* Allow me to translate for the internet generation

SC -Yo man! I'm movin!

Me-It will be $65 for me to put the car down

SC -$65? You crazy or something? You didn't even tow me!

"You can't tow me, I've got SWAG!"

Me-Car is off the ground, it's a drop, $65 or it's towed

SC -You're just greedy man!

"You're just hatin' on me, cuz of all my SWAG!"

SC -Why you got to be so rude?

Me -You're the rude one, you parked in someone else's spot

SC -You are a greedy jerk! Why you ain't town anyone else here? Why you pickin' on me?

"Can't you see parking laws don't apply to me, 'cause of all my SWAG?"

Me -You're the only one here illegally parked, I can't just pick up any car I feel like, they have to be illegally parked before I can take them. And yours is in a space you have no permit or permission to be in, the person who pays for this spot called me because you cannot park here, and this isn't the first time she called about this car, so this can't be the first time you did this.

SC -I was only here for 2 seconds!

"Just long enough to SWAG!"

Me -No, you were called into me at 3:58, it's now 4:09, so that's a bit more than 2 seconds

SC -Okay, look man, so it was 15 minutes or whatever, I was only here for 2 seconds to just drop someone off. Just put it down so I can go

"Those were SWAG seconds!"

Me -No Sir, you have to pay.

SC -Put it down!

Me -Not until you pay

SC -Look, I'm leaving, put it down!

"My SWAG shall be your payment!"

Me -Either you pay $65, or I tow it and it's $115, or I can call the cops if you refuse either of those options, but all they'll do is either tell you to pay $65 or make you stand over there quietly while I finish towing you

SC -For real?

Me -Yep

SC -YOU DIDN'T EVEN PICK UP THE CAR!

"HOW CAN YOU IGNORE ALL OF MY SWAG?!"

Me -Sir, what do you call THIS *slide my whole foot under the rear wheels of his car, which are off the ground by 5 inches* You are off the ground, if I tow it back to the garage, it's just going to cost you more.

SC -Whatever man, I'm not paying and you're going to put it down

"I'm SWAG and you're glue, your logic bounces off me and sticks to you!"

Me -Then I'll have to call the cops

SC -Whatever, man, why you gotta be like this?

"SWAG does not fear the fuzz!"

Me -Because it's my job, you illegally parked, you were called into me for doing it by the person who owns that space, you've admitted to me you did it, and per the law the car is off the ground, you owe $65.

SC -I was only here for a second, and you didn't even tow me! So no I don't owe you NOTHING!

"In fact, you owe ME for all the free SWAG!"

SC -I ain't got one on me!

Cop1 - You don't have a driver's license?

SC -WHY I GOTTA SHOW ONE?!

Cop2 - You just admitted to us you were operating this vehicle, you were doing so without a valid driver's license?

SC -Whatever man

"Don't NEED a driver's license when you've got SWAG!"

Cop2 - So, are you going to pay or does he have to tow you?

SC -You ain't gonna help me?

"How can you ignore the plight of my SWAG?"

SC -I ain't got no money!

Cop1 - They'll take credit I believe, won't you?

Me -Yes Sir, Credit, Debit, Cash, only thing I can't take are checks

SC -I ain't got a card!

"Do you take payment in SWAG?"

Mr SC, looking angry enough to chew nails, suddenly comes up with $65 cash. I finish the paperwork, hand him his receipt and go on my merry way. The cops make sure he stays put until I'm unhooked.

"I may be $65 poorer, but I've still got my SWAG!"

[PepperElf]

Was it a good idea to tell him that the owner of the space called him in? I wouldn't put it past the douchebag to try and take some petty revenge.

but then he'd have to park again and ... risk getting towed.

[veniteangeli]

I'd really like to learn how he conjured $65. I could really use that skill.

I'd keep it away from my nose, since he clearly pulled it out of his ass.