NSFW - what did people get stuck in their bodies this year?

[PepperElf]

What the title says - a list of the weird shit people got stuck in various body parts this year. NSFW cos some of the holes they plugged were private organs. And some of the stuff stuffed into other holes were also NSFW

Deadspin.com: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?

My favorites:
Nose: Dixie cup. ... seriously? how the hell did that even FIT?

Throat:
- [blank]Maxi Pad[/blank]. I'm not sure I want to know WHY you were trying to eat that...
- Model toy airplane. ... how big was it?

Male parts:
- "piece of timber".... talk about stuffing wood into your wood!
- soda can pop top. Um ouch?

Female Parts:
- "patient states she slipped & fell on a toy truck while cleaning" ... cos yeah I always clean the house naked you know.
- bed post.

Backside:
- French bread. ... I just hope it wasn't hot from the oven!
- artificial christmas tree branch ... what? were you trying to be the star on top of the tree?
- "stuck toy in rectum and broke off, saw mom insert tampon and mimicked" ... you mean Mom was suppose to do this in front of me?

[fireheart]

I'm just more amazed that someone actually has this for a job....let alone has the time to compile this stuff over the year.

Also WTF a SPOON in the penis?! OUCH!

blank:12YOF GOING THROUGH MOM'S DRAWER, FOUND PENIS SHAPED 'PLEASURE ITEM,' EXPERIMENTING PUTTING IN HER VAGINA, COULDN'T GET OUT/blank

seriously?

[PepperElf]

or the one who used the loofa - with the suction cup & hook STILL attached?

guess i should be glad they didn't include photos.

(tho I'm still boggled about the bedpost. as i told my BF... [blank]"I guess fisting wasn't extreme enough?"[/blank]

[Draper Mel]

A maxi pad? In the throat?? How the hell...??? Why the hell...???

[Moirae]

Ive come to the conclusion that some people are just nuts. Wtf?

[telecom_goddess]

BABY BOTTLE -- in the rectum....wtf
CIGARETTE LIGHTER -- same again wtf
In the nether yaya -- SEWING NEEDLES OWOWOWOW
and in the nose -- WAD OF TOILET TISSUE ...how do you get that "stuck" in there?

My daughter once stuck beans in her nose. But she was a kid.....and didn't know better.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

*reads entire article*

GOOD GRAVY!!!!!

Bedpost . . . I don't think I want to know what happened on that one.

[wolfie]

One recent Dan Savage column brought up an interesting issue - when someone presents at the emergency ward with a rectal foreign body, why doesn't the doctor (after removing the RFB) recommend "toys" with a flared base to avoid future "entrapment"?

[Antisocial_Worker]

One recent Dan Savage column brought up an interesting issue - when someone presents at the emergency ward with a rectal foreign body, why doesn't the doctor (after removing the RFB) recommend "toys" with a flared base to avoid future "entrapment"?

At the hospital here, they do. I would too after hearing person after person after person after person say, to a one, that they "slipped" and "fell" on *whatever,* driving it deep up inside their hoo-ha, rectum, etc.

Although by far the most popular excuse, it raises questions, don't you think? What are you doing naked in a situation where you could conceivably get an entire full-size can of Raid brand spider spray fully inserted? How exactly would you fall on the can in such a way as to drive it inside? Why are you, for lack of a better term, lubed in such a way as to allow it?

See? Questions. Many, many questions. You really do yourself a disservice when you come to the hospital with an inadequate excuse. Just go ahead and tell the truth. You can't shock a doctor and you have no modesty in front of one anyway.

[Mikkel]

You really do yourself a disservice when you come to the hospital with an inadequate excuse. Just go ahead and tell the truth. You can't shock a doctor and you have no modesty in front of one anyway.

But what excuse would be adequate (supposing they just can't get themselves to tell the truth)?
"I was standing on my porch, minding my own business, when suddenly two men came running, lubed me up and put this spoon in my penis" perhaps?

[telecom_goddess]

But what excuse would be adequate (supposing they just can't get themselves to tell the truth)?
"I was standing on my porch, minding my own business, when suddenly two men came running, lubed me up and put this spoon in my penis" perhaps?

omg thanks for the laugh

[Dreamstalker]

Ah yes, the 'mysterious dude(s)' defense...

One of my other forums has a thread devoted to odd injuries. The majority are sustained while dinking around in computer innards, but a few years ago my ex posted the following:

His bathtub had a vertical flange on top of the faucet that you pulled up to close the drain. He related that he was showering, and slipped backwards, and...yeah. Basically sat square on the flange Apparently he was 'attached' to the faucet for a few minutes until he finally figured out he'd have no choice but to pull himself free.

That story became infamous in short order, and I don't know if he was able to edit it once he realized it was now on the interwebs for all eternity (albeit in a subforum one had to be logged in to view, but still).

[fireheart]

I do believe this thread is appropriate: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=62759

ETA: Also this: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

As far as "things up the body" go, yesterday at a job interview, we were given a scenario (the job was for after-hours care workers for kids aged 5-12. Very common down here btw) and had to work it out.

The scenario for us started out fine (making cards, 3 12-year-old girls think it's childish what do we do?) then we were given part 2.

Part 2 was "While you are making the cards, a 5-year-old has a crayon stuck up his nose. Everyone's laughing and another 5-year-old is trying to do the same thing."

Many giggles ensued