Tweet
So this weekend I had the flu. Bad. Lost 12 pounds in 3 days bad. But seeming as My wife doesn't drive and my puppies need shots I roughed it out, skipped the doctor and threw up violently while I went about my day lol.
So we get my daughter in the car (son is 2 hours away with my ex) and get the two beastly mutts in there (Shepard/collie mix. Both over 50lbs at 5 months). Get their shots done. On the way home I wanna hit a dollar store to grab some crackers and ginger ale.
Get in the store....stagger to the pop aisle. I'm sweating. I'm pale. I want to be in bed.
What do I see? Two great big fat women. Each with a cart. Chatting. Their bodies block the aisle and their carts are sitting infront of my precious ginger ale. Parked across the aisle. I walked up to them and asked them to move....they continue their convo. I sigh loudly and walk around through another aisle and am now standing by their carts. Which again are parked sideways with no room for me to get the pop I want.
I clear my throat and ask very loudly for them to move their carts. They look at me, roll eyes and keep chatting. Cue me pissed. The. Fuck. Off. So I grab the first cart, send it down the aisle, followed quickly by the second one. Both ladies start yelling at me about touching their stuff. I ignore them, roll my eyes. Grab my pop and as I'm walking away I turn to them and say
"Well ladies. Until you realize you're too fat to stand together in an aisle, too stupid to move your carts, and too deaf to hear me ask you to move, you can waddle your asses home and go fuck yourselves" followed by a big shit eating grin.
Of course as I was walking to the car I was again violently ill from all the effort. But the looks on their faces will be tucked away and brought out again when I need a smile.
So we get my daughter in the car (son is 2 hours away with my ex) and get the two beastly mutts in there (Shepard/collie mix. Both over 50lbs at 5 months). Get their shots done. On the way home I wanna hit a dollar store to grab some crackers and ginger ale.
Get in the store....stagger to the pop aisle. I'm sweating. I'm pale. I want to be in bed.
What do I see? Two great big fat women. Each with a cart. Chatting. Their bodies block the aisle and their carts are sitting infront of my precious ginger ale. Parked across the aisle. I walked up to them and asked them to move....they continue their convo. I sigh loudly and walk around through another aisle and am now standing by their carts. Which again are parked sideways with no room for me to get the pop I want.
I clear my throat and ask very loudly for them to move their carts. They look at me, roll eyes and keep chatting. Cue me pissed. The. Fuck. Off. So I grab the first cart, send it down the aisle, followed quickly by the second one. Both ladies start yelling at me about touching their stuff. I ignore them, roll my eyes. Grab my pop and as I'm walking away I turn to them and say
"Well ladies. Until you realize you're too fat to stand together in an aisle, too stupid to move your carts, and too deaf to hear me ask you to move, you can waddle your asses home and go fuck yourselves" followed by a big shit eating grin.
Of course as I was walking to the car I was again violently ill from all the effort. But the looks on their faces will be tucked away and brought out again when I need a smile.
Comment