The Adventures of Rat Sofa Woman!

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Sorry, the name we gave this woman lends itself to thoughts of the scene from Mystery Men where they are auditioning that group of loser superhero wannabes.

Anyway this is a story from my wife and the furniture restoration company where she works.

Call comes in from the insurance company. It seems that during transit and storage a rat had managed to get inside her sofa. As it was being unloaded off the truck the woman claims to have seen the rat scurry out of the sofa and into the woods.

Not a problem, being a beautiful overstuffed leather sofa cleaning it will be far less expensive than a new one and my wife has the name of a place that can rip the leather off, clean out the stuffing and rat droppings, clean and condition the leather, add new stuffing, put the whole thing back together in short order.

And at about 1/3 the cost of a new leather sofa ($1800 value new)

Technician goes out to the site to take pictures and to document the condition of the sofa. There's no smell from the sofa and there is no signs of where a rat could get into or out of a sofa. The under covering (that thin cloth that you see under sofa's and recliners) was intact and stapled so tightly that a mouse couldn't get in or out, much less a rat. Technician mentions it to the owner and she goes ballistic, kicking the tech out of the house.

The upholsterer goes out and says that there is no way anything could have gotten into the couch. Finally Rat Sofa Woman admits that she saw a deat rat on the arm of the sofa. The upholsterer looks at the armrest and sees nothing. Had a rat died there, there would have been stains of when the rat loses control of it's bodily functions not to mention the stains caused by decomposition. This means that the rat was either already dead and mummified, or Rat Sofa was full of poop. Upholsterer calls my wife, wife calls insurance company, insurance company authorizes a good cleaning and conditioning of the leather.

Rat Sofa Woman will have none of this "I will not have my children sitting on something that has had a dirty, filthy, disease-ridden rat on it. I want (say it with me boys and girls) a new sofa.

Now we have the battle lines drawn. Rat sofa wants a new sofa, Insurance company wants to pay as little as possible and is being generous in offering a full professional cleaning, The upholsterer wants to start so he can move on to other projects and my wife wants to close the case so she never has to deal with Rat Sofa Woman ever again.

I'll keep you posted as new developments come in.

Mongo

[iradney]

Wait wait wait, isn't the fact that she initially claimed a rat was IN the sofa to begin with tantamount to fraud? She obviously thought that if she said it was IN the sofa, the insurance would have to replace it. I could be wrong tho...

[IT Grunt]

Wait wait wait, isn't the fact that she initially claimed a rat was IN the sofa to begin with tantamount to fraud? She obviously thought that if she said it was IN the sofa, the insurance would have to replace it. I could be wrong tho...

Insurance companies are going to rule out all possible options before they go that far. If the sofa can be cleaned/repaired/sterilized (which is very possible) for a cost far less than it's value, then that is all they will pay for. The burden's going to be on Rat Sofa Woman to prove her case before they'll authorize a replacement. From this story, I'd say that's a snowball's chance in the devil's backyard.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

If the sofa can be cleaned/repaired/sterilized (which is very possible) for a cost far less than it's value, then that is all they will pay for.

Quite right. The standard process goes like this.

1. Shipper (person hiring the moving company) complains to the movers (moving company) that [item] was damaged.
2. Movers give shipper a claim form from their insurance company.
3. Insurance Company hires furniture restoration company to evaluate [item] and give an estimate
4. Insurance company reviews estimate and makes a cost vs value decision.

It's like that for furniture, cars, home repairs, anything that is insured.

So say shipper files a claim on an antique chest dating back to the 1400's and is valued at $220,000 (actually happened but thankfully no suck in that transaction) and can be restored for $2,000 then the insurance company is going to authorize the repair. Other possibility is the Shipper files a claim for a Kitchen Table worth $100 brand new (Walmart Special or something) and the cost to repair is $200 (time, materials, labor) then they will just cash out the claim and give the shipper a check for the $100 and let them buy a new table.

The Insurance Company will always look for the least-cost solution to a problem since they are out to make money.

In the case of Rat Sofa Woman, they are giving her the benefit of the doubt and calling the live rat a simple exaggeration of a distraught woman and are going to offer a full cleaning of the sofa since it's cheap, easy and according to both my wife's company and the upholsterer would restore the sofa to like-new condition.

Not bad for a 5 year old sofa and I know that were it me I'd be happier than a pig in crap given that option. Not Mrs. Rat Sofa Woman and her super incredible "Entitlement Whore Whiny" powers.

M

[Jewels]

Wouldn't the movers notice a dead rat chilling on a sofa?

[air914]

Wouldn't the movers notice a dead rat chilling on a sofa?

Ha ha ha!! And wait a second - didn't she say she saw the rat "scurry off into the woods"? Oh my gosh it's a ghost-rat!!!! That's why it didn't leave any droppings or stains!!! LOL. Your wife should bring that point up - so this rat that was supposedly IN the sofa is now laying ON TOP of the sofa? And this rat that "scurried into the woods" now is lying DEAD on the sofa?? And if so, why can't we substantiate this claim with the movers? Did she actually get into the van and move the sofa herself before the movers/ delivery people saw it??? How would they have missed a big dead rat?

If there really was a rat, she should have taken a picture of it 'chillin' on the couch - or if it was dead, put it in a box to send to the company to prove it was there!

I don't get it - was she trying to get TWO couches??? Or did she just think it would be fun to have all these people (upholstery, insurance, movers, etc.) come into her house, deliver her a couch, take it back, and do it again? Think she's looking for a man in her life??? (not that women can't do any of those jobs - they're just usually jobs that men have)

[Jester]

Sorry, the name we gave this woman lends itself to thoughts of the scene from Mystery Men where they are auditioning that group of loser superhero wannabes.

A great and highly underrated movie. I recommend it to everyone. Freakin' awesome!

Not bad for a 5 year old sofa and I know that were it me I'd be happier than a pig in crap given that option. Not Mrs. Rat Sofa Woman and her super incredible "Entitlement Whore Whiny" powers.

Of course you would. And of course she isn't. You know why? There isn't any rat, and there never was.

[DisgruntledBadger]

Maybe it was a zombie rat, and someone needs to put in an emergency call to Bruce Campbell.

Hey, if it meant I'd get to meet Bruce Campbell, I'd stick a rat in a sofa. I wouldn't try to argue with the insurance company about whether it got cleaned or replaced, though...

[NightAngel]

Hey, if it meant I'd get to meet Bruce Campbell, I'd stick a rat in a sofa.

To meet Bruce Campbell I'd help you put as many rats as needed in a sofa.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

First the rat got inside the sofa, then a dead rat was found on the arm of the sofa?

I smell a rat (pun intended! Wocka wocka wocka!) I hope this liar gets told to go take a flying leap. She's obviously trying to scam a new sofa.

[Jester]

Heck, if meeting Bruce Campbell meant I would meet Renee O'Connor, I would bring y'all the dock rats from this town!

(If you don't know who Renee O'Connor is, look it up. But chances are if you are familiar with much of Bruce Campbell's work, you already got the reference.)

[skeptic53]

Oh man, this reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever heard, a story on This American Life called "Squirrel Cop".

First Day theme show

It's about a rookie cop and his partner who are asked to get a squirrel out of a house, and it involves a sofa, and, well... just give it a listen.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Well I promised you updates and here's what we have so far.

Well remember that rat? Well as far as we have gathered from comparing notes from everyone she's talked to here's the progession of the rat.

First it was a rat living in the sofa
Then it was a dead rat on the arm of the sofa
Then the rat pulled a resurrection to become the second coming of ratdom
Then it became a dead mouse
Now it's a live mouse on the arm of the sofa

We're betting that it'll become a beaver or an armadillo next week.

Anyhow, the moving company used was the absolute most anal-retentive movers in the country. They make damn sure that they can move in the middle of a thunderstorm and not damage a blasted thing. How do they manage that? They shrink-wrap everything...including the sofa.

Now there was no breach in the shrink-wrap.

It looks like the insurance company is only going to cover the $250 cleaning on a (and I apologize, I misheard my wife when she mentioned the proce) $8,000 leather sofa.

Now this isn't making this woman happy. The thought of her sofa being contaminated by a rat (mouse, squirrel, nutria, beaver, weasel, whatever) sickens her since (and this is the really disgusting part) her children lick the sofa.

Yes, I too had the mental image of little children with tongues like cows going [schlurrrrppp!!!!] on the sofa.

This woman is also worried about her dog contracting some disease from the rodent germs now.

Ok so to put this into perspective. This sofa which has dog lying on it (and you know damn well you can't get pets off furniture all the time), drooling, farting, and possibly bringing whatever nasty smell it could find to roll around in. There have been 5 years of people farting in it, not to mention the likelihood that these children have had their nappies changed on it.

Now with all that, she has no problems letting the children licking the couch but the rat/whatever grosses her out.

Frankly everyone who has looked over the sofa is more grossed out over the fact that this women's spawn-cows are licking the couch.

EEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!

Anyway, the woman doesn't know yet the decision of the insurance company. She'll learn the decision come Monday and I'll fill you in on the pending wobbler.

M

[Shironu-Akaineko]

So it's a shape shifting zombie rat?
Is it a ghost type pokémon??

[Becks]

We're betting that it'll become a beaver or an armadillo next week.

Nah, you still need a gigantic hamster/Guinea pig hybrid (dead, alive or merely comatose) before you move up to beavers.