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I'll chip in on the 'Time' aspect too, with the addendum that you focus on the fact that it will work. It doesn't do you much good in the short term to know the long term will be better unless you say to yourself "I'm closer today to being ok with this than I was yesterday."
A second help is actively not dwelling on it. I got kinda screwed the last time it happened to me in that I was in a job that I could do by rote. It didn't take a lot of brain power, but I couldn't focus on anything else while doing it either. (Probably like your current job?) As a result, there was the constant rehashing of stupid crap concerning "her" trying to start up in my head all the time. Whenever that would start, I'd immediately think of something, anything else ---not even let those thoughts get a toehold. (I'm certainly not saying don't examine those feelings, but it can be done at some remove from the situation, when YOU WANT to do so.)
Third, fill up inactive time with activities you enjoy, especially those that weren't possible or weren't all that fun with the ex. This isn't even about him, really, there are always things that are more fun or satisfying to do alone than as a couple, no matter how great the partner. My wife is a top contender for Best Wife in the World, but I still look forward to when she goes out of town on business meetings - total control over shows/movies to watch, as many servings of peas and brussel sprouts as I want, etc.
On the ditching/getting ditched front, I wouldn't sweat it too much. I strongly suspect that it wouldn't have lasted even if he wasn't gearing up to go back to his comfort zone. I know what the majority of guys up here are like, and not to give you swelled head or anything, but you seem too good for most of them. Just being on here distinguishes you from the average woodbilly; you interact with people from all over the world. and do so articulately and insight-fully. Writing and communication skills aside, just having an open enough mind to want to do it takes you up a notch.
Finally, and I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you pretty much a serial dater? Move from one relationship on to the next without much time in between? Not casting aspersions; nothing wrong with having a S.O. when that makes you happiest. But if you are, my heartiest recommendation is that you give yourself an ironclad time limit before you get serious again. The chance that a perfect mate will slip by in the interim is pretty low, and I've seen women come out of introspective periods practically new people; stronger, happier, and most importantly, much more sure of exactly what they want out of the next relationship.
In any case, hope you bounce back quickly and good luck out there.
tl;dr: Forget about that jamoke, to hell with that loser, get pickier.
A second help is actively not dwelling on it. I got kinda screwed the last time it happened to me in that I was in a job that I could do by rote. It didn't take a lot of brain power, but I couldn't focus on anything else while doing it either. (Probably like your current job?) As a result, there was the constant rehashing of stupid crap concerning "her" trying to start up in my head all the time. Whenever that would start, I'd immediately think of something, anything else ---not even let those thoughts get a toehold. (I'm certainly not saying don't examine those feelings, but it can be done at some remove from the situation, when YOU WANT to do so.)
Third, fill up inactive time with activities you enjoy, especially those that weren't possible or weren't all that fun with the ex. This isn't even about him, really, there are always things that are more fun or satisfying to do alone than as a couple, no matter how great the partner. My wife is a top contender for Best Wife in the World, but I still look forward to when she goes out of town on business meetings - total control over shows/movies to watch, as many servings of peas and brussel sprouts as I want, etc.
On the ditching/getting ditched front, I wouldn't sweat it too much. I strongly suspect that it wouldn't have lasted even if he wasn't gearing up to go back to his comfort zone. I know what the majority of guys up here are like, and not to give you swelled head or anything, but you seem too good for most of them. Just being on here distinguishes you from the average woodbilly; you interact with people from all over the world. and do so articulately and insight-fully. Writing and communication skills aside, just having an open enough mind to want to do it takes you up a notch.
Finally, and I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you pretty much a serial dater? Move from one relationship on to the next without much time in between? Not casting aspersions; nothing wrong with having a S.O. when that makes you happiest. But if you are, my heartiest recommendation is that you give yourself an ironclad time limit before you get serious again. The chance that a perfect mate will slip by in the interim is pretty low, and I've seen women come out of introspective periods practically new people; stronger, happier, and most importantly, much more sure of exactly what they want out of the next relationship.
In any case, hope you bounce back quickly and good luck out there.
tl;dr: Forget about that jamoke, to hell with that loser, get pickier.
Apparently, I was supposed to be jealous. Didn't work though--I'd just received the keys to the MG 
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