Get out the 2x4s...(major issues, possibly nsfw)

[Gizmo]

Well done! Onwards and upwards now.

[houdini]

Glad you're out of there! It's a huge step forward, so keep at it :-)

[Tama]

I was at a party yesterday, now you mention it. It was for my cousin's birthday last week. Ton of people. Lots of anxiety...but I got through it. Their having several dogs and kittens helped too. Animals always help out my anxiety. :-)

I've got so much to do. But at least now I can do it without being bogged down. All I have to worry about is insurance, job, etc. But those're cake compared to before.

I'll probably be seeing Al next weekend.

I was between my aunt and uncle in their truck when he called. Even if I HAD wanted to go back...they would've not let me.

Hugs to you as well.

[Tama]

So, Al's sister moved in some 50 miles away with her new man and Al thinks she's pregnant already. Al and I speculated that it's because with me gone, she had to take care of the kids herself and moved in with a guy promising her the world.

She still visits though.

And since I moved away, he has made some strides. He has driven alone, and fixed some car issues on his own. But due to the difficulty in seeing me from this distance (I don't know...20 miles? 10?) ....he wants me to come back.

I'm not going to. Because even in my vaguely apathetic state, I know it's a bad idea.

He asked why I was letting her ruin us again.

As if it's my fault. He keeps pushing for me to move back.

...and I can't help but feel that she will be what ends us, because I will never feel safe in any house where she is welcome.

[Gizmo]

In reply to "letting HER ruin" you two again? He's looking in the wrong direction.

You are you... he is him. No one else enters into the "ruining" of your relationship.

You want to stand on YOUR feet and he should respect that.

[Sapphire Silk]

He asked why I was letting her ruin us again.

As if it's my fault. He keeps pushing for me to move back.

...and I can't help but feel that she will be what ends us, because I will never feel safe in any house where she is welcome.

Hon, this guy is a textbook example of a co-dependant personality. He wants to lean on you and use you as his scapegoat for why everything is wrong in his life.

And you are LETTING HIM. "I can't help but feel that she will be what ends us?"

Hon, HE ended you, by not stepping up. You got out of a bad situation. Give yourself some credit; you've taken back control of your life. I know it's scary, but you are doing the right thing.

Leave this guy on the curb. He's not good enough for you.

[Seshat]

Leave this guy on the curb. He's not good enough for you.

Agreed.



A healthy relationship has two people, each of whom are themselves a whole person. Each brings their own wholeness, and the two together are a strong pair, greater than the sum of the parts.

You want to be a two-ply yarn, not two jigsaw puzzle pieces. Puzzle pieces aren't whole without the other. Two-ply yarn consists of two separate lengths of yarn which themselves are whole things.