Yay, discrimination...

[Ellain]

So, I recently had a baby. Because of this, my best friend has been visiting me once a week or so and we go out to eat. Yay for getting out of the house!

Now, we almost always go to the same restaurant. Often enough so several of the servers say, "Now, you want a Bellini tea, right?" We always get great, friendly service. Except this week.

Our server was bright, friendly, and engaged with every table around us, but would NOT make eye contact with my friend. She did the bare minimum for us. No friendly chatter (like she did with the other tables) and no stopping by to check how our meals were. It took me a while to notice, as I was occupied by the little one, but she was definitely not treating us as well as those around us. We were left with the impression that our server was judging my friend for her weight, which really hurt her feelings.

My friend didn't want to say anything, but... No, you don't get to hurt my friend. Grr! As we were leaving, I snagged the manager for a quick chat. We were very polite, but if that was typical behavior for her, she would really offend people. He was very apologetic, and though we told him we were not looking for compensation, he gave us gift cards. As we left, he was making his way to that server's section.

[bhskittykatt]

That server sucked, but it sounds like the manager is taking action. You guys sound like regular, steady customers and I'm sure the manager doesn't want to lose you!

[Akasa]

What ever her issue was, that's not cool.

[Seshat]

As totally as I agree with Akasa, please consider telling your friend that the server's issue may have had nothing to do with her weight.

Me, I can't stand babies. I won't go into the reasons - most of them are irrational, and the rest are totally not the fault of the baby. (Or of me, for that matter.)

Maybe one of you was wearing a scent that was disturbing her for some reason. My husband is intolerant to many perfume bases; just as a for-example.

Maybe she disliked the colour of your clothes, or your mannerisms, or .. meh. Any reason, either valid or invalid.

If she'd had a valid reason (eg, allergy to a perfume base), she should have told the manager and swapped tables with another server.

If she'd had a reason that wasn't good enough for that, she should have sucked it up and kept it to herself.


Either way: it might help your friend to know that it's equally possible not to be about her weight as for it to be. (complicated sentence there. Bah.) You know her, I don't: you make the call.