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OH HAI Impatient Asshole

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  • OH HAI Impatient Asshole

    I'm not sure what happened, or when, the has flipped my shit about bullies and assholes in general. I just cannot stand folks that have so little value or self esteem that they take it out on the unwashed masses. I don't care if someone pissed in your cornflakes, suck it up butter cup and be an adult.

    Today was like most any other day. My commute through pasture land was uneventful. I didn't run into any other car as I made my way to the interstate. I was slightly annoyed, granted, at the Acura that was in front of me getting onto the entrance ramp. But guess what? I had my big boy undies on, and sucked it the hell up. I kept my 3 car length distance and mentally cursed him a fool since I couldn't use the ramp to get up to speed. Instead, I needed to do so on the incline after the ramp. Not that big a deal in the game of life.

    It was as I merged onto the interstate I caught movement in my rear view. Erratic movement, I should clarify. I watched a truck... nay, truck does this stead an injustice. Imagine, if you will, the cab ripped from a box truck and left on a frame. A beast with a raging turbo diesel engine and a spirit that must run wild! And attached to said beast is a 16 foot (or larger) empty trailer. I watched this frankenbeast with some disdain come straight down the ramp and cross immediately over to the passing lane. I surely hoped the driver looked first.

    Whilst this is ongoing, I've got my signal on and follow the acura onto the road. Again, keeping my normal 3 car distance waiting for the owner to get up to speed so I can use my beloved cruise control.

    And from the left, I see a car pass... and hear the mighty roar of Impatient Asshole following close behind! Henceforth designated IA. How close pray tell? Why, there was no less than half a car length between the beast and its prey, the not so rare "highway commutis". I, being rather sick of this shit on our highways, blew the horn and flipped the IA off. And zounds! The effect was immediate! It was reminiscent of the scene from Lampoons Christmas Vacation, with the violent shaking and bright glare of tail lights.

    The IA brought his mighty beast alongside my puny car and proceeded to spool up its turbo with much black smoke. Oh, and glaring. He was glaring at me. I was... sadly, not feeling overly intimidated by this. I was shaking a tad as I tried to snap his picture with my phone, but that was just the adrenaline talking. Oh, and laughing. Did I forget the laughing bit? Yeah, I was openly laughing at him.

    See, here's the thing that I get, but wasn't obvious to IA. By definition he is an impatient asshole. I am, by nature, long suffering patient hippie manchild that couldn't give a fuck how long he stayed with me at the limit. Eventually his impatience (and those that are behind him... including "OH HAI, I'M A BIGASS 18 WHEELER!") would force his hand. Oh, and I was using my beloved cruise. It's hard to intimidate cruise... I've tried, it's pretty unresponsive.

    He unsuccessfully tried cutting me off with his penile replacement trailer. And his attempts at brake checking was also pretty ineffective, considering he didn't come overly close to my car. So, he settled on blowing more black smoke and driving off into the distance.

    TL;DR;

    Some asshole directed his attentions at me and left the person he was tailgating alone. I score this one as a victory.
    But the paint on me is beginning to dry
    And it's not what I wanted to be
    The weight on me
    Is Hanging on to a weary angel - Sister Hazel

  • #2
    Kudos to ya for taking one for the team ^_^ GO TEAM NON-ASSHOLES!
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
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    • #3
      Quoth Ophbalance View Post
      The IA brought his mighty beast alongside my puny car and proceeded to spool up its turbo with much black smoke. Oh, and glaring. He was glaring at me. I was... sadly, not feeling overly intimidated by this. I was shaking a tad as I tried to snap his picture with my phone, but that was just the adrenaline talking. Oh, and laughing. Did I forget the laughing bit? Yeah, I was openly laughing at him.
      Ooo, you have pictures. Can we see?

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      • #4
        Yep. You can sorta see "the glare". Sadly, my window glass is doing funky shit to the lens on my camera/phone. Topped with the fact that my phone camera blows to begin with. I rather wish I could have seen a company logo, as that would have more than warranted a call. It's got a "1" on the A pillar, but I didn't see any other markings on it.
        But the paint on me is beginning to dry
        And it's not what I wanted to be
        The weight on me
        Is Hanging on to a weary angel - Sister Hazel

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        • #5
          YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, BAD DRIVERS!

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          • #6
            Quoth Ophbalance View Post
            Yep. You can sorta see "the glare". Sadly, my window glass is doing funky shit to the lens on my camera/phone. Topped with the fact that my phone camera blows to begin with. I rather wish I could have seen a company logo, as that would have more than warranted a call. It's got a "1" on the A pillar, but I didn't see any other markings on it.
            I like to imagine it's not your window glass, but that he's currently fated to die within seven days because he watched a cursed video tape, and so his face looks distorted in all digital media.

            That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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            • #7
              Yeah anytime you can report a jerk like this is worth it. Glad you are ok.
              ''Sugar cane and coffee cups, copper, steel, and cattle. An annotated history the forest for the fire. Where we propagate confusion primitive and wild. Welcome to the occupation''

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