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Sixty days to the friggin' caucuses and my state's legislature had nothing better to do?
The Iowa Pumpkin And Other Decorative Gourd Tax Act*
*If you think that sounds stupid, you gotta wonder what it's actually called.
The theory, as outlined in the article, is that most pumpkins are used for either decorative purposes or petty seasonal vandalism. Since they're being carved, painted, smashed, set afire, placed in inappropriate, dangerous yet comical locations, but NOT EATEN, the usual host of state and local sales taxes apply.
What worries me is that this legislation opens the door to some questions that I don't think we're ready to ask ourselves. As one Farker mentioned, this means a tax on parsley and other garnishes can't be far off. Then what's next? What about those ginormous tins of stale popcorn? What about the can of beets in the cupboard, or the Vienna Sausages? My God, what about fruitcake?!
I'm taking the precaution of eating the can of pumpkin pie filling that's been sitting in my kitchen since last Thanksgiving. I could go for some Reddi Whip in a bad way, but otherwise it's not as bad as I was anticipating. Tomorrow night I'm gonna polish off four boxes of Jiffy Cornbread Mix and either plant, pop, or boil up the ear of Indian Corn* I hung on the door as a decoration. Friday night, it's beets. Vienna Sausages. And then that onion soup mix. It may not be pleasant dining, but it beats the hell out of an audit.
*Don't tell me you've never heard of Indian Corn. Y'know, This Stuff!!
The Iowa Pumpkin And Other Decorative Gourd Tax Act*
*If you think that sounds stupid, you gotta wonder what it's actually called.
The theory, as outlined in the article, is that most pumpkins are used for either decorative purposes or petty seasonal vandalism. Since they're being carved, painted, smashed, set afire, placed in inappropriate, dangerous yet comical locations, but NOT EATEN, the usual host of state and local sales taxes apply.
What worries me is that this legislation opens the door to some questions that I don't think we're ready to ask ourselves. As one Farker mentioned, this means a tax on parsley and other garnishes can't be far off. Then what's next? What about those ginormous tins of stale popcorn? What about the can of beets in the cupboard, or the Vienna Sausages? My God, what about fruitcake?!
I'm taking the precaution of eating the can of pumpkin pie filling that's been sitting in my kitchen since last Thanksgiving. I could go for some Reddi Whip in a bad way, but otherwise it's not as bad as I was anticipating. Tomorrow night I'm gonna polish off four boxes of Jiffy Cornbread Mix and either plant, pop, or boil up the ear of Indian Corn* I hung on the door as a decoration. Friday night, it's beets. Vienna Sausages. And then that onion soup mix. It may not be pleasant dining, but it beats the hell out of an audit.
*Don't tell me you've never heard of Indian Corn. Y'know, This Stuff!!