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Jokes are Religiously themed, but not making fun of religion...
A young Clergyperson is talking to an older Clergyperson about his first sermon. The older asks if he can hear it so he can critique. The younger one gives it and the older one goes, "well its pretty good, but the joke you start it with is no good, we don't do Ethnic jokes here, if you must use it, make it about a race that is fictional or doesn't exist anymore so you don't offend anyone" The Younger one agrees to this. So the Next day as the younger one starts his sermon "I was told that the Best sermons always start with a joke, so here it goes. It seems there were these 2 Atlanteans Named Sven and Ollie....."
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A Priest, getting up early on Good Friday looks outside his window and sees its the first truly beautiful day of Spring, so decides to sneak off for a quick 9 holes of Golf before heading into Church. Well St. Peter sees this and runs to tell God.
StP: Dear God Have you seen this? one of your Holy Priests on this day, One of the Holiest of the Year, is off playing Golf instead of doing his duty
God: Don't worry I've got it covered...
So St. Peter runs back to watch. The Priest is just lining up his shot, and it so Happens its a 430 yd Par 5 with a Dogleg to the right. The Priest hits the ball and it goes off like a shot. The priest is amazed, and begins to track his ball. He quickly becomes confused, it isn't in the rough, or the Fairway, or in a bunker, so he just keeps walking looking for the ball, he Finally makes it to the green, and looks in the cup, and sure enough, his ball is sitting at the bottom. St Peter sees this and is stunned, he runs back to God and
StP: Dear God, could you please explain to me why when one of your Holy Priests goes Golfing on one of the Holiest days of the year he gets a hole in 1 on a 430 yd par 5 ?!?
God: Who is he going to tell?
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At a particular Catholic Church, The Priests Car dies, so the congregation gets together, and collects some money to buy him a new car. The Priest is touched, and decides to dedicate the car to the service of the church, so he goes out and sprinkles it with Holy Water while an Altar Boy swings a lit censor around.
As it happens there is a Tabernacle across the way and The congregation there, not wanted to be shown up runs a collection, and buys their Rabbi a bigger, more expensive car. The Rabbi is very touched, and decides to dedicate THEIR car to the work of God, so he goes out and cuts 2 inches off the Tailpipe.
A young Clergyperson is talking to an older Clergyperson about his first sermon. The older asks if he can hear it so he can critique. The younger one gives it and the older one goes, "well its pretty good, but the joke you start it with is no good, we don't do Ethnic jokes here, if you must use it, make it about a race that is fictional or doesn't exist anymore so you don't offend anyone" The Younger one agrees to this. So the Next day as the younger one starts his sermon "I was told that the Best sermons always start with a joke, so here it goes. It seems there were these 2 Atlanteans Named Sven and Ollie....."
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A Priest, getting up early on Good Friday looks outside his window and sees its the first truly beautiful day of Spring, so decides to sneak off for a quick 9 holes of Golf before heading into Church. Well St. Peter sees this and runs to tell God.
StP: Dear God Have you seen this? one of your Holy Priests on this day, One of the Holiest of the Year, is off playing Golf instead of doing his duty
God: Don't worry I've got it covered...
So St. Peter runs back to watch. The Priest is just lining up his shot, and it so Happens its a 430 yd Par 5 with a Dogleg to the right. The Priest hits the ball and it goes off like a shot. The priest is amazed, and begins to track his ball. He quickly becomes confused, it isn't in the rough, or the Fairway, or in a bunker, so he just keeps walking looking for the ball, he Finally makes it to the green, and looks in the cup, and sure enough, his ball is sitting at the bottom. St Peter sees this and is stunned, he runs back to God and
StP: Dear God, could you please explain to me why when one of your Holy Priests goes Golfing on one of the Holiest days of the year he gets a hole in 1 on a 430 yd par 5 ?!?
God: Who is he going to tell?
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At a particular Catholic Church, The Priests Car dies, so the congregation gets together, and collects some money to buy him a new car. The Priest is touched, and decides to dedicate the car to the service of the church, so he goes out and sprinkles it with Holy Water while an Altar Boy swings a lit censor around.
As it happens there is a Tabernacle across the way and The congregation there, not wanted to be shown up runs a collection, and buys their Rabbi a bigger, more expensive car. The Rabbi is very touched, and decides to dedicate THEIR car to the work of God, so he goes out and cuts 2 inches off the Tailpipe.