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This is a ' if it's about my education is it work or not thread'
So the other day one of the teachers who does a lot of the culturally responsive education classes came to talk about various 'events' coming up.
One a teach in (basically the one night a week with little to know classes turned into impromptu lectures on everything from handling child abuse fears to teaching for various native cultures) was prefaced by the question ' How many of you faced going to school with fear growing up' and only 3 of us raised their hands.
I immediately thought two things: well we know who well better handle the burn out and seriously? How can you relate to anything if you have no experience with the fear?
Then I thought damn.... what if I'm the fucked up one?
I mean I know I'm not but for a minute I had doubt.
And before you ask why school filled me with fear: I'm a Mormon raised over weight lesbian who couldn't even risk coming out in school only cause I lived in a prominently Mormon area and my family is full of teachers or people in political positions who know just about every one of my teachers and coming out would get home through either church or the teacher gossip vine (which happened with my best friend and I had to deal hate speech from my aunts about her being a disgusting perv and they couldn't believe I'd hang with a freak like that at family events... and people wonder why I use to cut) to my emotionally, mentally and physically abusive father. In addition I was gifted with learning disorders, socially awkward and had to deal with bullying and teachers who had no idea what to do with a kid like me. Yeah school was fucking terrifying.
So the other day one of the teachers who does a lot of the culturally responsive education classes came to talk about various 'events' coming up.
One a teach in (basically the one night a week with little to know classes turned into impromptu lectures on everything from handling child abuse fears to teaching for various native cultures) was prefaced by the question ' How many of you faced going to school with fear growing up' and only 3 of us raised their hands.
I immediately thought two things: well we know who well better handle the burn out and seriously? How can you relate to anything if you have no experience with the fear?
Then I thought damn.... what if I'm the fucked up one?
I mean I know I'm not but for a minute I had doubt.
And before you ask why school filled me with fear: I'm a Mormon raised over weight lesbian who couldn't even risk coming out in school only cause I lived in a prominently Mormon area and my family is full of teachers or people in political positions who know just about every one of my teachers and coming out would get home through either church or the teacher gossip vine (which happened with my best friend and I had to deal hate speech from my aunts about her being a disgusting perv and they couldn't believe I'd hang with a freak like that at family events... and people wonder why I use to cut) to my emotionally, mentally and physically abusive father. In addition I was gifted with learning disorders, socially awkward and had to deal with bullying and teachers who had no idea what to do with a kid like me. Yeah school was fucking terrifying.