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but I'm wondering what else I could do better.
I was being baited into an argument and I ignored it. So I guess I'm happy with myself for that, but I'm so irritated right now. I had a terrible workday and haven't seen my brother for two days so when he comes home this is what I have to put up with? It gets up my fight-or-flight and I don't need that.
Anyway, let me set up the fridge background: it's kind of small and that's always been a problem for the 3 of us. I'm fine with tap water, but Mom needs a big water filter container with the spigot--goes almost to the back of the shelf and is 1/3 the width. I put my extra creams and half gallons of milk behind it. On the right are two skinny juice containers which take up the length but not much width--items I drink but I've seen one of the flavors in a gallon container he made up. Could've asked to share but he didn't. In the middle you can absolutely fit a milk gallon with some other stuff behind it. I know this because he put his lemonade in there like that and subequently took it out. I had no idea why; maybe he took it to work or something. Nothing was said to me. There are other items in that space but they could be moved if anyone asked me to. Let me interject that an entire door section is their coffee creamers, milk, whatever. No room for anything of mine. Yeah, we have a lot of drink related items in the fridge.
Anyway, I remarked during dinner that it didn't seem cold enough, that I needed to adjust the fridge again because I shouldn't need ice for refrigerated iced tea. Just a casual observation put out to see if anyone else noticed that. It wasn't really a question but he answered and that's fine. I just don't like where it went.
As I was walking out of the kitchen: "I just keep my drink mix in my room. If I want any I drink it warm"...."That's not my preference but it seems to always be a big deal that there's no room in the fridge"....and he kept going on about it, though I forget what he said. He never accused me of complaining about the lack of space, though I have. We all get a little frustrated at times. I've been the one to play Tetris to re-arrange it and I can fit it all in. I've never said a word to him about the milk jug. It's difficult to get at stuff and that kind of annoys me, but I've not said anything because I feel he should be able to put drinks in there, too.
It's a dumb thing to argue about and I refused to be drawn in. I know my ignoring what he's saying must frustrate him and make him feel not heard. But he could take the advice he's given to me and actually speak up instead of making passive aggressive statements to my turned back low enough that I'm the only one who hears. He could say "Hey, FL, is there more room on that shelf for my jug?" and I'd be like "Oh, yeah--let me move this container to the bottom shelf. It can lay down. Do you want to share the orange drink in the glass carafe?" But since he never addressed it directly with me, I never knew he was mad about it. I get really annoyed at stuff and I admit I've pulled that--refused to empty the dishwasher for two days--but I felt bad about it and decided I have to be better than that.
I guess I just have to let it go and wait for him to grow up and be better than that, especially since he flat-out told me before "Well, that's the first time I've heard that because YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING. All you have to do is let us know!" Well, same to you, dude.
What kills me is my demeanor changed and Mom noticed but didn't say anything and I know since she's practically deaf she has no idea what just happened, just that something is wrong with her kids. I don't want to bring it up to him because I never know what will cause an outburst. That's worse than this. When Mom passes, I wonder what battles he'll start. I think her being here keeps him from doing so as much as possible.
I was being baited into an argument and I ignored it. So I guess I'm happy with myself for that, but I'm so irritated right now. I had a terrible workday and haven't seen my brother for two days so when he comes home this is what I have to put up with? It gets up my fight-or-flight and I don't need that.
Anyway, let me set up the fridge background: it's kind of small and that's always been a problem for the 3 of us. I'm fine with tap water, but Mom needs a big water filter container with the spigot--goes almost to the back of the shelf and is 1/3 the width. I put my extra creams and half gallons of milk behind it. On the right are two skinny juice containers which take up the length but not much width--items I drink but I've seen one of the flavors in a gallon container he made up. Could've asked to share but he didn't. In the middle you can absolutely fit a milk gallon with some other stuff behind it. I know this because he put his lemonade in there like that and subequently took it out. I had no idea why; maybe he took it to work or something. Nothing was said to me. There are other items in that space but they could be moved if anyone asked me to. Let me interject that an entire door section is their coffee creamers, milk, whatever. No room for anything of mine. Yeah, we have a lot of drink related items in the fridge.
Anyway, I remarked during dinner that it didn't seem cold enough, that I needed to adjust the fridge again because I shouldn't need ice for refrigerated iced tea. Just a casual observation put out to see if anyone else noticed that. It wasn't really a question but he answered and that's fine. I just don't like where it went.
As I was walking out of the kitchen: "I just keep my drink mix in my room. If I want any I drink it warm"...."That's not my preference but it seems to always be a big deal that there's no room in the fridge"....and he kept going on about it, though I forget what he said. He never accused me of complaining about the lack of space, though I have. We all get a little frustrated at times. I've been the one to play Tetris to re-arrange it and I can fit it all in. I've never said a word to him about the milk jug. It's difficult to get at stuff and that kind of annoys me, but I've not said anything because I feel he should be able to put drinks in there, too.
It's a dumb thing to argue about and I refused to be drawn in. I know my ignoring what he's saying must frustrate him and make him feel not heard. But he could take the advice he's given to me and actually speak up instead of making passive aggressive statements to my turned back low enough that I'm the only one who hears. He could say "Hey, FL, is there more room on that shelf for my jug?" and I'd be like "Oh, yeah--let me move this container to the bottom shelf. It can lay down. Do you want to share the orange drink in the glass carafe?" But since he never addressed it directly with me, I never knew he was mad about it. I get really annoyed at stuff and I admit I've pulled that--refused to empty the dishwasher for two days--but I felt bad about it and decided I have to be better than that.
I guess I just have to let it go and wait for him to grow up and be better than that, especially since he flat-out told me before "Well, that's the first time I've heard that because YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING. All you have to do is let us know!" Well, same to you, dude.
What kills me is my demeanor changed and Mom noticed but didn't say anything and I know since she's practically deaf she has no idea what just happened, just that something is wrong with her kids. I don't want to bring it up to him because I never know what will cause an outburst. That's worse than this. When Mom passes, I wonder what battles he'll start. I think her being here keeps him from doing so as much as possible.