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HELP!! Need to convince parents bf insn't a rapist...

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  • Eisa
    replied
    Darling, honestly I'd just ignore them. My parents were a bit worried [although my boyfriend was 41 when we started talking Not a creeper, however.]

    Perhaps a gentle sit-down of how you're being careful and slip in the fact that you are an adult and it is your life?

    I don't really know, I'm sorry.

    Leave a comment:


  • csquared
    replied
    Your parents are going to have to meet TowelKing in person. He should also meet them before he meets you in person. That will show respect for your parents.

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  • Soulstealer
    replied
    Honestly if you're over 18 it's a moot point. They have a right to be concerned about anyone you date but they're not the ones in the relationship. If it ever gets to the meet the parents phase they'll find out anyway but until then just let it progress naturally.

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  • Amusement Gal
    replied
    Ah...welcome to my (previous) world. Don't suggest that you do what I did. I knew it was going to blow up and explode into fiery death and shaming if I mentioned that I was dating someone online, so I fibbed about it. Not like, "Oh, he's just working a lot. He's a neighbor.", but "Well, my friend knows a friend of a friend and we started liking each other and traded emails.", which is somehow different. I'm pretty sure my dad saw through it, but as long as he didn't freak out or cut my computer cord, I was happy.

    The only way it got them to shut up about some of their doubts, though, was for him to visit. He wasn't a crackly voice over a mic, or a static image; he was Boyfriend who came into town. And it then became easier just by that one visit. So I would definitely try to arrange a meeting with him sometime. Make it seem like a coincidence/visiting family or some other reason if you truly think that some nasty hijinks will happen. Hell, try some local event if you want to make it extra convincing.

    This is coming from a very similar straight-laced girl who didn't want to get Boyfriend shot. By that point, I had already talked to and seen his mother on webcam. Really hard to fake that. Be sure, be confident, and play it super-safe in front of your parents if/when he does visit. At least the first time. It will prevent gun-polishing, and give them the confidence that you will be perfectly fine with him.

    Just remember: don't lie if you don't have to. It makes it a hell of a lot more awkward once you've walked around the whole thing. I still get that a lot.

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  • Aethian
    replied
    Road trip?

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  • Kisa
    started a topic HELP!! Need to convince parents bf insn't a rapist...

    HELP!! Need to convince parents bf insn't a rapist...

    Those who read my "Happy News" post know that I now have a bf. For those who haven't read it, I am now dating TowelKing and am very happy. However, there is one issue that keeps popping up. My parents refuse to see around the stigmata placed on metting people online and keep going through the list of bad people you can encounter:

    He Could Be:

    -a rapist
    -a pedophile
    -a pervert looking to get young girls to strip via webcam
    -a cheater with 5 internet girlfriends
    -a cheater with internet girls and "real" girls
    -a 40-year-old creeper who stalks girls online
    -an axe murderer who has his sights set on me
    -a liar who is feeding me a bunch of them to get me to trust him
    -not "real" himself

    Yes, i know the dangers of the internet and I'm careful. I don't post my address on websites and say "HEY WEIRDOS! COME GET ME"!
    For the record, I have called, texted, PMed, and skyped with him. I guarantee it's the same guy because his voice and picture matches the voice and face on the webcam. He looks nowhere NEAR 40, texts me damn near every minute of every day (no time to cheat), hasn't once asked to see me naked, and doesn't seem the type to have a criminal record as thick as a dictionary.

    I don't know how to get them to see that he's just a regular guy and that not all people on the internet are bad. I mean, I'm on the internet and I'm talking to him. I have NO record whatsoever, I have never cheated, and I'm a real girl with a birth certificate and everything. Somehow, I'm real but he isn't even though we are both in the same position. I understand why they are being cautious because there are pople like that out there, but I want them to accept him. Yes, I am legally an adult capable of making my own choices. I could easily tell them to deal with it and fly to visit him, but I live in their house, they pay bills, feed me, wash my clothes, etc and I'd rather keep them happy.

    I really need ideas of how to show them he is a real person and that he doesn't want to hurt me; he wants to date me. I don't expect them to trust him enough to ship me to his house for a month, I just want them to trust him enough to be happy with me dating him. I keep getting the "well, you two are penpals but it won't last forever" thing and it hurts to hear it.

    Ideas?
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