unless I morphed into a mirror, I'm not the id10T here.

[HawaiianShirts]

You ask for a cable to connect your computer. I got trough my usual discovery questions, yet you don't know what is called nor can you describe what you want it to do. It's 'a cable to connect the computer' you convey again as if this piece of information would make it more than obvious what you need/want.

I feel your pain. I dealt with many of these myself. Once went through the entire computer department's selection of cables and several of the home theater cables with a guy who wouldn't specify what he wanted his "cable" to do. I almost wanted to walk him through the appliances section and try to sell him a dryer hose just to see how he would react.

Do you work here? While wearing a name badge, logo shirt, and a look of despair may not be enough obvious giveaways, having all the aforementioned PLUS being behind an open cash register ringing up someone should be a clincher.

I've had people use that to mean, "Do you work in this section?" But I'd think that being behind a register negates the need for even that much. This one's just stupid.

[MoonCat]

Second only to the famous "Are you open?"

Asked in the middle of an average weekday, no holiday of any kind.

Why, pray tell, do you think I answered the phone on such a day, in the middle of normal business hours, if we were not open?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Exhibit C: "Nah I just do this as a hobby. Here's your sign."

Or, as I've been known to say "Nope. Hiding from the cops. Shhhh . . ."

[An Haddock]

This is a conversation I have far too often:


"I need a power cord for my computer."

"Okay - laptop or desktop."

"Laptop."

"What brand?"

"...brand?"


It shouldn't surprise me any more, but it never ceases to amaze me when people don't know what kind of computer they own.

[otakuneko]

Oh great, I can only imagine their head exploding when asked "what kind of power cord?"

Exhibit C: "Nah I just do this as a hobby. Here's your sign."

[Josh]

exhibit A
You ask for a cable to connect your computer. I got trough my usual discovery questions, yet you don't know what is called nor can you describe what you want it to do. It's 'a cable to connect the computer' you convey again as if this piece of information would make it more than obvious what you need/want. I walk you to my laptops and I try to have you at least point to the area where this magic cable would be connected, all I get is a bewildered look as if this is the first time you have seen a computer this close or that your mind has translated my simple request to 'use this store laptop to connect to NORAD and prevent nuclear annihilation, you have 20 minutes, go!'. Well, I take this as a personal challenge. If Cesar Millan can do it with dogs, well, I should be able to do it with you; you drove here, speak and understand English, the only win the dogs have: they can lick their own crotch, and that's not really relevant to find your 'cable' (I hope). What is it that you needed?: A power cord.

exhibit B
You want to pay your phone bill, plop the money on the counter and give me the stink eye as if I'm personally depriving you the money that was meant to buy little johnny his milk or Grandma her medication. Looking at the death grasp you have on your phone and the weird shape of your hair, I can tell this has become almost an appendage; yet you don't know: who's your cell phone company, YOUR PHONE NUMBER, nor the amount you want to pay. You paid here last month? you're not that memorable. No, its not B.S. that we need this information every-time you want to pay.

exhibit C
Do you work here? While wearing a name badge, logo shirt, and a look of despair may not be enough obvious giveaways, having all the aforementioned PLUS being behind an open cash register ringing up someone should be a clincher. Now, some people use this instead of 'can you help me' but you passed one idle associate that greeted you and offered to help you when you walked in, and there's another idle associate next to me in the next register that saw you beehive to the register and waited for you, so I'm guessing now that you're some corporate bearer of bad news who enjoys his job a little too much so the answer was a quizzical 'yes?' still can't figure how that made you get all huffy.