We don't need no water...

[nutraxfornerves]

We had a rather ditzy employee who was a master of malapropisms. One day she started complaining about the smokers who conjugate outside the front door. “That’s right,” said one listener, deadpan.”And afterwards they have a cigarette.”

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I got to see it go off when some absolute @rse lit up while leaning against the massive no-smoking sign that pointed out that the window above it was for the children's ward for very sick children. It was a wonderful sight, seeing him jump a mile and everyone nearby turn to glare at him while he sheepishly ground out his cigarette...

That would be a good beginning for a Monty Python skit.

Where I work at, this isn't an issue, since the property management company hasn't updated our parking lot to have the trees in the parking lot.

But I do vaguely recall way back in the early 90's when smoking was just starting to be banned in enclosed areas having to tell a few nitwits to take their smokes outside . . . didn't have to see the cigarette, as the smoke was enough of a tell tale sign.

If I couldn't smoke inside the grocery store, they couldn't either.

[Valentinian]

I've thought for many years there should be a mandatory improvement to all the surveillance cameras out there...


A hotspot detector like the Sidewinder missiles with a long range sprinkler head slaved to it...



Light up too close to the entry? pisht pisht pisht pisht

Set up an automatic upload to YouTube, monetise the channel...

[Dreamstalker]

Once at OldJob, the tyrant of a FEM tried to get me written up for leaving the SCO. Why did I leave SCO? The planter right outside the doors (that I could see from my station) was smoldering from a cigar. I was closest and happened to have a bottle of water with me. In the time it would have taken for the service desk to page a porter any fire would have likely spread to the plant in the planter and then the mulch for sale that was nearby...and the person on porter/gofer duty that night most likely would have let the fire get a decent size and then call 911.

(SCO was never unattended, the cashier next to them closed down temporarily and took over so I could run outside)

[greek_jester]

Light up too close to the entry? pisht pisht pisht pisht

Some bright spark at the local hospital has set up a smoke detector near the entrance linked to a very loud recorded message. Something along the lines that it is a no-smoking site and that all smoking must be confined to the smoking shelters.

I got to see it go off when some absolute @rse lit up while leaning against the massive no-smoking sign that pointed out that the window above it was for the children's ward for very sick children. It was a wonderful sight, seeing him jump a mile and everyone nearby turn to glare at him while he sheepishly ground out his cigarette...

[XCashier]

it's been 2 million years since our ancestors learned how fire works and some of us still haven't gotten the memo.

(I know it's not funny that idiots keep setting fires, but you put that beautifully!)

A hotspot detector like the Sidewinder missiles with a long range sprinkler head slaved to it... Light up too close to the entry? pisht pisht pisht pisht

Ooh, I like this idea!

So he set up a night-vis security camera, a motion detector, and a sprinkler.

Enjoy!

In Soviet Russia, building pees on you!

[Jay 2K Winger]

I've thought for many years there should be a mandatory improvement to all the surveillance cameras out there...

A hotspot detector like the Sidewinder missiles with a long range sprinkler head slaved to it...

Light up too close to the entry? pisht pisht pisht pisht

Reminds me of the guy with a beachfront property who got tired of beachgoers in the busy months having an... "indulgent" evening and needing to relieve themselves of some of that indulgence, and choosing to do it against the side of his house.

So he set up a night-vis security camera, a motion detector, and a sprinkler.

Enjoy!

[Rosco the Iroc]

Fires at work seem to be the theme this week, so, with that I present

CARBECUE

Yes, I took it's picture because it just spontaneously started smoldering again, about 2 hours after the local FD had put it out.

We stuffed a running garden hose down the hold for 15 minutes, that did the trick.

Navy firefighting calls that setting a re-flash watch.

[YamiNoHime]

I love the way you think

[dalesys]

I've thought for many years there should be a mandatory improvement to all the surveillance cameras out there...


A hotspot detector like the Sidewinder missiles with a long range sprinkler head slaved to it...



Light up too close to the entry? pisht pisht pisht pisht

[MadMike]

That used to happen all the time at my job. Every so often, some idiot would by smoking in the garage in their way into the building and toss their lit cigarette off the catwalk and into the tan bark. That is if it didn't blow back onto the catwalk and land on someone on a lower level. The company would occasionally send out a nastygram about it, and threaten to move the smoking areas somewhere a lot less convenient or ban it on the property altogether, but in the end they wouldn't do anything.

A few years ago, they enclosed the catwalks, and removed the tan bark and paved over where it was, so I guess they eventually did do something. Took them long enough though.

[Trixie]

I had a coworker start a fire by flicking her cigarette into the mulch on her way to her car. I noticed it while I was going to make a left turn but didn't feel the need to really turn around and see what happened.

Then there was another time we had a car in our parking lot on fire. Not set on fire a customer's car was on fire. The manager went out with a fire extinguisher and the customers were all like WTF??, well all except the owner of the car he knew. Thinking about it now, it's possible that is was just smoking because I really don't remember anything big happening from it.

[RealUnimportant]

Yipe... Goes to show just how long residual heat can remain after a car fire!

[Argabarga]

Fires at work seem to be the theme this week, so, with that I present

CARBECUE

Yes, I took it's picture because it just spontaneously started smoldering again, about 2 hours after the local FD had put it out.

We stuffed a running garden hose down the hold for 15 minutes, that did the trick.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Had a couple of mulch fires at the wholesale club back in the day, from the same kind of thing-- smokers ignoring the ashtrays/cigarette disposal columns and just chucking it aside. One time I was able to put it out by filling a cup from the soda fountain and dousing it out and then stamping it out.

The other time, though, the mulch smoldered and the smoke actually seeped under the store's foundation, so we had smoke in the building without knowing the source. We had to evacuate the building until the situation was understood/resolved.