You maniacs! You blew it up!

[Best Made Tacos]

My partner worked with a guy called 'Wayne Kerr'.
Yeah, just say it out loud a few times if you don't get it at first

[Velfarre2001]

I once knew a Ben Dover.... he REALLY hated his parents... I wonder why.... but he loved to crack the face of anyone who actually said his full name..... I am seriously surprised his parents did not end up as trophies on his wall..... you can bet that was one FAST name change as soon as he could.

Some people should not have kids....

[JustaCashier]

Any Richard Craniums? (or is that Crania?)

Mike

[draggar]

"Alright, Hugh Jass, listen to me. You are NOT coming up in my database."

Actually, there's about 20 of them in our system, all in fraud status.

Along wth Al Coholic etc..

[Imogene]

Some people need a list of aliases, and before they make a call, they circle the name they want to use.

"Alright, Hugh Jass, listen to me. You are NOT coming up in my database."

[Becks]

ME: Could I have your name please?
SW: Uh.....

Some people need a list of aliases, and before they make a call, they circle the name they want to use.




Post #3700

[Catwoman2965]

Reading all of these reminds me of my boss. Apparently over the weekend, he managed to spill some liquid in his phone, and fried it. Ok, he admits he was dumb, but then when he went to replace said phone, got all pisssy that he had to pay *gasp* full price for a new one! (no insurance) - you have to understand he thinks that everyone is out to screw him out of SOMETHING - regardless of what it is - so now he's ranting on about how when his contract is up with provider X, he's going elsewhere.

I think he wanted some sympathy from me, and he was upset he lost the photos and video of his kids, but still..you go somewhere else, and kill your phone, you will STILL have to pay full price for a new one! he just doesns't get it, and the way he pisses and moans, you would think everyone is out to get him!

[Kara]

BTW - how good are you with troubleshooting smart devices?

Depends on how stupid the phone's owner is

Seriously, though, pretty good. We don't do it anymore, but in my department we used to be the first line of defense for smartphone troubleshooting.

[Jadedcarguy]

And already, the level of sucktitude has exceeded critical mass and our system crashed. Not that I'm complaining, I get to tell everyone to call back later because our account management system (and backup system) are down.

I hated doing retail parts when the computers went down. Everything is in the computers. It didn't matter how you explained it though, SC logic dictated you could still help them.

Me: I'm sorry, the system is down and will be for a couple of hours. Why don't you try calling us then?
Moron: I just have a simple question. How much is a yadayada for my Chevy and do you have it?
Me: Sorry, I can't look up anything.
Moron:You can't just tell me if you have it and how much?
Me: That's what NO means. Go away.

No one listens.......

[draggar]

Sounds like my day, but I have to deal with them face to face.

Today's (in)fameous line:

"I only dropped it in a cup of water, it's not like a dropped it in the pool or the ocean, so it can't be liquid damage!"

BTW - how good are you with troubleshooting smart devices?

[Kara]

Halfway through the day here. Halfway. And already, the level of sucktitude has exceeded critical mass and our system crashed. Not that I'm complaining, I get to tell everyone to call back later because our account management system (and backup system) are down.

Here are the highlights from Saturday and part of today:

SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = If only the phonelines to customer care were also down -_-

Denial

SW: They said I went like 800 minutes over and I would never, ever, possibly do that, ever!

Oh, wow. I guess I can't argue with that logic. We'll just take that off the bill. So, for phantom minutes, I'll send you a phantom refund which you can deposit at the First Phantom Bank of the Phantom Zone. kthxbye

Would you like to buy a clue?

ME: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
SW: What?
ME: This is Kara with (COMPANY), how can I help you?
SW: ...
ME: Hello?
SW: What?
ME: How. Can. I. Help. You?
SW: Oh, I want to take (X FEATURE) off my account.
ME: Sure, could I just have your mobile phone number?
SW: Yeah, it's XXX-XXX-XXXX.
ME: XXX-XXX-XXXX?
SW: Yeah. No. Wait.
ME: ...
SW: Yeah.
ME: I'm afraid that's not brining me an account.
SW: So is it XXX-XXX-XXXX (the exact same wrong number)
ME: No, I'm afraid that's not it.
SW: Are you sure?

I'm just messing with you. I delight in watching the minutes in my life tick away, lost forever while teasing people about their numbers. It is my one joy in life.

Round 2, FIGHT!

(not the same customer)

ME: Could I have your mobile number please?
SM: My what?
ME: Your mobile phone number.
SM: You want my mobile phone number?

Oh, I'm sorry, time's up. But for playing today, you will be leaving with the home version of the game and a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!

The little things make me laugh

Not really sucky, but this asian woman's name was pronounced "You hoo." I had to smile at that one.

*twitch*

ME: Could I have your name please?
SW: Uh.....



Like, for sure!

SW: So, like, I like, would like, have like, the same, like, uh, like plan?

Like, you so totally would! Oh my God! That's like, all good or some junk!

Brilliant

SM: I thought I was going to go over my minutes, so I activated a new account with another company, so I want to cancel.
ME: But you aren't going over your minutes. In fact, you still have 800 minutes left and your minutes are going to start over again in 2 days. Did you see that you were over when you checked your minutes?
SM: Oh, I didn't check my minutes, I just thought I was probably going over. That's okay though, I'll just keep the new service and cancel this one.

Yeah, you do that. In the meantime, I'm going to go see my doctor about this relentless twitching in my right eye.

Do as I say, not as I do

SM: I think these phones are sick! They should only be used for emergencies and not as a main line! It's a sad state of affairs that so many people rely on them!

So, did you form that conviction before or after you decided to get a phone and use an average of 1000 minutes a month for 4 years?

Let's make a deal

SW: I need a good deal on a phone. My son broke his last one, and since he had already lost it once before, and broke the one before that, insurance won't cover another replacement.
ME: Well, we can look at our upgrade program to get a new phone.
SW: But I don't want a contract. Can I get a phone without the contract?
ME: Yes, but since the contract is what allows us to discount the price of the phones, you can only get one for the full cost.
SW: Well, it sounds like I'm not going to get a deal.

No, you can get a great deal. But you think that paying me a cancelation fee, then paying to activate with someone else and get a contract with them is a more logical option. Let me know how that works out for you.

Just kidding. I don't really care what happens to you.