A change to use my mind reading powers

[myswtghst]

We get this crap all the time at work. We open cases under a customer's system ID, and as such, can search by that, for open cases, or cases from a certain time frame. No matter how many times I tell my customers, they don't seem to get that I can't search by the shop responsible for the case, the last person to update the case, or the name of someone briefly involved in the case.

I also get people that want information about a request but refuse to give me the request number, their name, the serial number or the PO number. The best are when they give me a part number and a vague, very large date range, and after three warnings, are still shocked when the system freezes or takes 10 minutes to run the search.

People are dumb.

[Jadedcarguy]

^ *taps foot* I'm waiting.

Fedex has it.

[Jadedcarguy]

I like the women who give you their name when picking up their book...my name is "Airhead" <looking, looking, looking, not there>

When did we call you? 3 days ago? It should be here... <looking again, scanning the rest of the A names in case it's out of order,> No, I don't see it.

Let me look it up...<tappity tappity> Sorry, that name doesn't come up in the computer...can I have your phone number? <tappity tappity> Could it be under "Twit"?

SC: Oh, yeah, that's my maiden name...I use that for work.

<Walk to the other end of the hold area while rolling eyes>

One of my co-irkers had one of those today. I was at the front counter filing some invoices for my used-car dept when i heard this exchange:

J: Co-irker
CRS: Can't Remember Shit

J: Sorry, sir, I don't find any orders for <Dumbass>
CRS: I ordered it Monday! I got a call saying it was here! I better not have wasted my gas!
J: Do you have your receipt? (ALWAYS BRING THIS!)
CRS: It's in the car. I'll get it. THIS IS BULLSHIT!

<CRS goes to car>

J:<to me> You should come work the retail counter!
Me: Oh, yeah, it's my dream.

<CRS comes back>

CRS: Here! I better not have wasted my gas!
J: I'm sure you didn't. See, here's the prob. You told me you name was <Dumbass>, your invoice says <Utter Moron>. Oh, look! I do have a part for <Utter Moron>!
CRS: I forgot I gave you that name.

This twit raised a fit because of his own stupidity. Really, how thick do you have to be to give a different name than what you normally go by?

[Neo_Classic]

^ *taps foot* I'm waiting.

[Jadedcarguy]

S/O car parts?

I think he might mean "special order".

Neo is correct. Free cookie.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I like the women who give you their name when picking up their book...my name is "Airhead" <looking, looking, looking, not there>

When did we call you? 3 days ago? It should be here... <looking again, scanning the rest of the A names in case it's out of order,> No, I don't see it.

Let me look it up...<tappity tappity> Sorry, that name doesn't come up in the computer...can I have your phone number? <tappity tappity> Could it be under "Twit"?

SC: Oh, yeah, that's my maiden name...I use that for work.

<Walk to the other end of the hold area while rolling eyes>

[Elf]

Oh dear...I just had flashbacks to working on the other side of our office. We get calls like that more than I want to think about. Customer calls wanting to reference an old order or check on a new one. None of the following: our order number, their PO number, the general date when it was placed, what item it was for...you name it. And often the people who call to check are never the actual salesperson who placed the order...

I always want to pull out my smart-ass Kreskin impersonation at that point.

"Yes....I can see words through the misty fog regarding your order.....I can almost read them....Wait! They say 'Put in notes to give this customer a PIA (pain in the ass) charge on their next order...'"

[Shabo]

The correct answer would have been.

You - Ok Ma'am, if the information you provided me is correct. Then you're order may or may not be in the system. If it is in the system, then the information says that we may or may not have the products in stock. If your order is in the system then you should be recieving it sometime between now and 47 years from tuesday. Is there anything else I can help you with today, possibly helping you to order a clue maybe.

Her: Can you be any more specific?
You: I'm sorry, but if you want more information from me, then I need more information from you. Your options are to give me your order number, phone number or email address. Which would you prefer?

[Neo_Classic]

I think he might mean "special order".

[solemnwarning]

I've had that with S/O car parts. People are so scared to give up any info.

S/O car parts?

[Jadedcarguy]

I've had that with S/O car parts. People are so scared to give up any info.

[digilight]

Me - Hi welcome to comapny, how can i help you?
Sc - Find my order.
Me - [sarcasm]yay a polite one[/sarcasm] Ok, can i take your order numer?
SC - Don't have it.
Me - Ok, can i take the phone number you entered when placing the order?
SC - No
Me - *sigh* Ok can i take the email address?
SC - No
Me - *long drawn out sigh* Ok can i take the credit card number to search the database?
SC - No. *Whiny voice* why can't you find my order? This is taking too long, do you know what you're doing??

The correct answer would have been.

You - Ok Ma'am, if the information you provided me is correct. Then you're order may or may not be in the system. If it is in the system, then the information says that we may or may not have the products in stock. If your order is in the system then you should be recieving it sometime between now and 47 years from tuesday. Is there anything else I can help you with today, possibly helping you to order a clue maybe.

[Neo_Classic]

Just to fuck with her, I would've said I found her order (using my psychic powers, obviously) and it would take another 2 months and then hang up.

[Becks]

Oh, dear. Just when my braincells were starting to recover, I had to read this.

[Bright_Star]

Should have called Mr. Spock for a telephone mind meld...lol. But really, if they don't supply the information that you need to help them then how do they expect any kind of service?