Are you drunk/high?

[gunsage]

Dealing with drunks CAN be fun, but typically isn't from my perspective. Typically, I don't get calls where a person seems to be drunk...stoned, yes...but not drunk. But when dealing with the public...it can be interesting. I didn't really get it all that much working in a grocery store, but working in gas stations? Oh hell yes.

The worst part? If it seemed like the guy was drunk, we weren't supposed to sell. The problem here? In one of the neighborhoods I worked, I couldn't tell if people had red eye because they were drunk, stoned, or had JUST BEEN IN A FIGHT (had a coworker come in shirtless with knife marks on him one time ).

I also worked security at Nationwide Arena for events for a (thankfully) short time. THAT SUCKED. The main reason is that they tried to have 2 lines...one for general items (hot dogs, popcorn, etc.) and one for all that PLUS alcohol. Now...I could really care less, as a security officer, if you want to get something to drink...that's up to the cashier.

HOWEVER, the primary reason it sucked is not only did the rules seem to change on a day to day basis, but also we were initially required to card EVERYONE that wanted to come through the line, whether they wanted a beer...or a hotdog. After all, it was the "21+" line, so we had to verify their age EVERY time REGARDLESS of what they were buying.

After a while, not only were we angering potential and returning customers, we were also not getting backup from the cashiers. Often the customers would just walk past us and I'd have to pull them back, kicking and screaming. Fun.

[Posture Moll]

Yes!
Oh...this wasn't a poll?

But, well, we *do* have this one guy that frequently either calls or shows up at our store stoned beyond belief.

Me: Here's a size 10 for you, sir.

Crackhead: Triangle wha?

Me:

Crackhead: You keep saying 'three-four-triangle', what's that mean?

Me:

[Nekojin]

Ah, drunks...

One time, while I was living in Laughlin, NV, I was wandering around the Riverside Resort & Casino when one of my friends, who was a change maker there, walked up to me and said, "Dude, can I ask you a big favor?"

I didn't have anything better to do, so I agreed. He took me over to a bank of slot machines where a girl was slumped. He explained, "She's sloshed, and doesn't have any way to get home. She's a friend of mine. Can you take her, or at least watch her until I get off shift so I can take her?"

I explained that there wasn't room in my car for a passenger right then (a huge understatement, but I won't get into that right now), but that I had no problem keeping an eye on her. He explained that she did this frequently, because she never suffered hangovers, so never had any sort of negative reinforcement.

So I sat with her. After about 5 minutes, she lifted her head off her chest, looked blearily at me, and said, "Hey, you're kinda cute," and then promptly passed out. I never really quite figured out how to take that...

We ended up being casual friends, and a later boyfriend of hers managed to get her to quit drinking completely.

[unholypet]

Take THAT drunken folk! Anytime you mention illegal/cop stuff is so funny to see them either sober up fast, or get silly XD

[princess4life]

I have people come up to the doors at concerts all the time that are completely wasted. the other night I had a drunk dude the other night thatwas pretty entertaining. i don;t get calls from drunk guys though

Me: Well me of couse
DD: Drunk Dude

Me: Hey guys do you have a ticket?
DD: Yeah man I have this one the guy from the bar gave me so I can drink.
Me: Ok that wriste band isn't for the event that is for access into the bar that is inside the event. (the people working the bar where walking down the line selling memberships to the bar wrist band prove the bar wrist band are only for access to the bar)
DD: *stumbles and gives me a dumbfounded look* what
Me: they guys walking the line work for the bar inside in order to go into the bar they put wriste bands on the partons over 21 so they don't have to ID you everytime you walk into the bad, you still need to have a ticket to the concert sorry for the confusion.
DD: *stumbles away to the car comes back about 10 minutes later carrying a beer*
Me: Do you have a ticket?
DD: Nah man I have this the girl that was up here before told me I could get in with this
Me: No sir I didn't tell you that I told you that you need to have a ticket the wrist band is proof you already showed your ID to the bar staff. Oh yeah and I need you to dump out the beer right now.
DD: but I got it from the guys in the bar inside dude you can't make me waste it like that
Me: They don't serve that type of beer inside it is illegal to be drinking that out here, you haven't even made it into the concert yet to get into the bar. There is a sheriff standing about 10 feet behind you that I am sure would love to site you for public intox dump and trash the beer right now. and then go buy a ticket from the ticket booth or you are not coming in.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Ah, drunken people at the casino. Back in the day.

Me (young, still innocent hotel operator): This is the hotel operator, how can I assist you?
Hotel guest: mawww Gurr washa brooogleeee shrooik gurgle gurgle......I shwannna get a wakeurrrppp...
Me: Um...I'm sorry sir?
HG: I shwanna get a wakeurrrppp carlllll!
Me: You want a wakeup call?
HG: I gotta get urpp in the mornnnn. Carlllled the op...op...oper....
Me: ...
HG: ...darmn lady on the telerphurnnn. Shhhhe shaid I hudda call you ferr a wakeurppp carlll.
Me: Ah. You tried to call the phone operator for a wakeup call and she told you to call me. Is that correct?
HG: YERSHHH!
Me: Ok, what time?
HG:...whart time? It's 4 in the murning, gurrlll!
Me: No, sir, what time would you like me to call and wake you up?
HG: 4 in ther murrrninn...
Me: ...
HG: Oh. eight oclurckkkk.
Me: 8 o'clock?
HG: YERSSHHH!
Me: Okay, sir, have a good night.
HG: Grawr wurnna bursh shwoooeee gurgle gurgle warrnna drinkkk... *click*

Mr. Drunk-off-his-patootie was later found wandering the hallway in his boxer shorts. According to security, he wanted another drink but couldn't figure out how to get to the first floor. He was quite upset when they told him to go back to his room. Until he realized he had a mini-bar!

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

and their customers are sitting on the other end like "WTF is so funny" and before you know it 20 people have been told about it

[unholypet]

I remember this call from my overnight days:

Customer: <I had no clue what he was talking about>
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. <mute button on> Please don't call me when you're high. <mute button off> Now if you could describe your problem in more detail...

My coworkers all broke up laughing, thinking I actually said that to a customer.

Ahahahaaaa

[TNT]

I remember this call from my overnight days:

Customer: <I had no clue what he was talking about>
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. <mute button on> Please don't call me when you're high. <mute button off> Now if you could describe your problem in more detail...

My coworkers all broke up laughing, thinking I actually said that to a customer.

[crazylegs]

Me:
DD: Drunk Dude

DD: You can't take my beer
Me: I can and I am (*pssht* *slosh*)
DD: You can't pour it away though (pained expression, priceless)
Me: I can and I just have, have a nice evening sir!

Wash; Rinse; Repeat for about 50 cans in Town Centre on Friday night, we have two applicable laws possesion by an under 18y/o where we can confiscate all alcohol open or not (previous law only allowed us to confiscate open alcohol) and open alcohol not allowed in town centre. Either way, they lose.

(Town Centre have big problems right now with underage drinking in parks and gardens)

[unholypet]

He's only like that when under one of a few influences. Normally a nice guy.

No one has funny inebriated stories?

[lordlundar]

Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just trying to scam a free pizza.

I'd go with both myself.

[Acolyte]

Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just trying to scam a free pizza.

[Tito]

I want some of whatever he's on!

[unholypet]

Has anyone else had many of these types?

I didn't take his order (great customer) but I did answer the next call of his;

Me:Thank for you calling (pizza company), this is UnholyPet, how may I help you?
Dude: Yeah iss like.... been hour.. TWO HOURS since'n you all took mah order...
Me: Hmm, let me check *typity type* Sir, it actually says on our computer you ordered 20 minutes ago.
Dude: OOooohhh...
Me: If you want to be specific, it was 23 minutes ago. (Now I'm just screwing with the guy)
Dude: Whoah... aw man... haha.
Me: ...would you still like your pizza?
Dude: Yeah, maan.. I'm so hungry!
Me: Okay, it should be a little less than ten minutes before he gets there with your food. Please enjoy every little bite and call again.
Dude: UH.. HUH!..

*click*

Woo..