The SC's guide to checking out!

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

It's ok to come to the checkout if you're not done shopping yet! The cashier and customers behind you don't mind at all when they're stuck waiting 15 minutes while you run to the other end of the store for 'one' thing that you forgot. Bonus if it's crap you didn't need, like a frozen pizza or bags of chips.

The rest rooms are very close to the Circ Desk, so what we get all the time is:

SC: Go ahead and check me out ... I'm just going to run and use the ladies/mens room, ok?
Me: Uh ... actually no. If you walk away. I'm going to stop helping you and help the next person in line. I'll take care of you when you get back.
SC: Oh ... uh ... never mind. I'll wait, then.

[Becks]

Am I missing anything?

Here's one of my classics...

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=2211

[reformedwaitress]

Actually this DOES make sense, especially if the customer is paying with cash or a check or even a low interest credit card. Most, if not all, store cards charge between 20-25% interest, which means the 10% off is no bargain, unless the store card also has a grace period of some sort.

Or because you simply don't want a(nother) credit card or because you know your credit is bad and won't get approved. If you don't want it, you don't want it, it's up to you if you save the money. And as long as you're nice about it (saying "No thanks!" and not bitching or throwing a fit) I see no reason why refusing a store card is sucky.

[bainsidhe]

How about:

-Wait until I ring up approximately $120.00 worth of groceries before you declare in a loud voice that this is too expensive and you only brought $50.00 with you. Then proceed to put back all remaining items in your cart, and then put back most of what I've already bagged and has been put in your basket. Double points when most of the re-shops are meat, frozen dinners and frozen vegetables. But you'll keep the 4 bags of chips (This happens much more often than I care to admit, folks). So now we have to claim out that expensive perishable product because of food safety standards and whatnot. We just live for keeping people safe and are glad to rise to the challenge.

-Ask if you can pay two ways, such as with two credit cards. Then tell me you want to split it evenly, expecting this cashier who is focusing on scanning, bagging and currently with the attention span of a raisin to do math in her head. Good for you not letting the fact that my brain has been asleep for the last two hours of mindless work deter you in the least. Kudos also when I insist you tell me how much you want on each card and you just round it off so one of you pays $60.00 and the other pays $64.32. Good for you college boy. (really, this insistance prevents a lot of suckiness should I "gasp", do math correctly and customer decides they wanted a different value that "sounded" better or "gasp cough", I miscalculate by ten cents).

-Ask if you can take an extra couple bags and then grab the whole stack of 50 and quick-shuffle walk away. Hey, always glad we can help.

-Come up with an ice cream sandwich and tell me you already ate one, so can I scan this one so you can pay. Oh, but you're not buying the one I'm scanning, you just wanted to pay one you ate. No problem, we'll just claim out this sandwich and take a loss. I mean, glad such icey-sugary-goodness prevented you from overheating in our store. We wouldn't want you to like, sweat or anything.

-Speaking of ice-cream, come up with a box of ice cream and declare in a disgusted tone that it is "too melted". We apologize and understand that the A/C should be kept below freezing at all times so that your ice cream doesn't melt after being in your cart for 1-1/2 hours on a 95F day.

-Ask me to double bag. Everything. Yes, that includes the bread. Better safe than sorry, no?

-Walk up with an earpiece cell phone, yakking away. I love to play the guessing game of "are you talking to me?" It's what I live for and I can't get enough.

-Walk up to the register with two overflowing carts and three family members. Then ask if I can get you another cart while the other three members of your party seem to be pointedly ignoring the conversation. Bonus points when none of your group bothers picking up the bags and ~gasp~ placing them in the newly-retrieved empty cart. I love checking to see just how well that wrist support of mine is working.

And a big peeve of mine:
-Don't bother with the divider, if one is available. Just place your items exactly 2 inches behind the previous customers' so it keeps me guessing. I enjoy the extra practice of doing voids. Bonus points if you actually SURROUND the preceding customers' items with your own. Why that's like a word find puzzle and I have to find the hidden items. Hmm, looks almost the same, yet isn't. Whee, I love puzzles.

Ok, that's it for the moment. I'm sure there are hundreds more. I got a real chuckle at the post. If not for the credit card bit, I would have sworn you work in my store. Ah, the fun of bix box retail.

[Reyneth]

Oooh oooh ooh!

#whatever
Wait until the cashier tells you the total before you get your coupons out of your purse/wallet/crack of your.......
Bonus points if you've already started to pay so the cashier needs to backtrack.
More bonus points if you can take 5+ minutes arguing about the "validity" of a coupon for an item you don't actually have (wrong size or brand) all to save $1.00 or less.
Even more bonus if the cashier has to pull the receipt out of the printer to match the coupons you have to the already-bagged items because you have no idea what you bought that you have coupons for.

[daleduke17]

Silly cashier...everybody knows that customers would never leave perishable or frozen items in the cooler! They always hide them so as to ensure they're spoiled before anyone finds them!

I actually found an exception to that one. At Wal-Mart in Forsyth someone actually put a gallon of milk in one of the little pop coolers at the checkout.

I was amazed.

25. Come from another one of our stores, loudly declare that you're an employee and "know how it's done" and then in a loud, drunken voice, declare our employees "dumbasses" while standing at the register.

I apologize for double posting, but, on this one: I actually got a cashier from another store busted and put on probation for something similar (except for the drunken part).

I did find it great when I transferred over to the store she was from and was instantly her supervisor.

[Alpha Strike]

actually, having your credit checked only hurts your score if you get turned down or chose not to take the card... won't hurt though if you actually get the card (that was actually the topic of my personal finance class last week).

I was under the impression that too many inquiries, whether you took the card or not, is a bad thing...

[smileyeagle1021]

But as a consumer, why would I want to ding my credit to save a few bucks? A couple of hundred, maybe. $60? $50? $10? No thank you. I don't want those inquiries on my credit report. Too many of those and I may be paying a higher interest rate for something I really need, like a car or house.

actually, having your credit checked only hurts your score if you get turned down or chose not to take the card... won't hurt though if you actually get the card (that was actually the topic of my personal finance class last week).

[Rubystars]

I hated when they would leave ice cream in the drink cooler. They were too stupid to know that a refrigerator and a freezer are not the same thing. The ice cream would melt all over the coke bottles.

[LifeCarnie]

18. Decline taking five minutes to open a store card to take 10% off even when you're spending 600 bucks worth of stuff. That makes a lot of sense.

Actually this DOES make sense, especially if the customer is paying with cash or a check or even a low interest credit card. Most, if not all, store cards charge between 20-25% interest, which means the 10% off is no bargain, unless the store card also has a grace period of some sort.

[Knightmare]

I agree with all, except #s 18 and 23.
Since I have been on both sides of it, I know how important for cashiers/workers go get those credit app numbers. I hated asking, even when the spiffs were good.

But as a consumer, why would I want to ding my credit to save a few bucks? A couple of hundred, maybe. $60? $50? $10? No thank you. I don't want those inquiries on my credit report. Too many of those and I may be paying a higher interest rate for something I really need, like a car or house.

But I am always polite to the cashier when they offer their card. But when they get obsessive about it, then I get grumpy. One time the guy kept asking, like 6-7 times, if I wanted to sign up for the store card. After politely declining 4 times. I just left my stuff on the counter and walked away.

No means no, not "keep asking until they cave."

[matty]

You also forgot . . .

It's ok to come to the checkout if you're not done shopping yet!

Aaargh! This is what annoys me when I go grocery shopping with my mother. She will get me to mind our spot, so to speak, when the customer in front is within about thirty seconds of finalizing his/her purchases. I admit she usually does just take a moment, and it's generally for something she actually needs, but it's still embarrassing if she doesn't make it within the thirty second window.

[MaverickGypsy]

As the scanner belt is moving toward the cashier, pick up your item and continue to move it back 6 inches at a time as the belt might suck it down into oblivion.

But at the same time, put your credit card or greeting card on the belt and watch them disappear!

Hand the cashier the tag from whatever you decided to wear out of the store.

Let your children ride on the belt. Don't forget to say " The lady is going to tell us how much you're worth" in a sing songy annoying voice.

Let the cashier listen to your child scream for candy while you repeatedly say, " l said no and i meant no" only to cave in at the last second and let them get something.

Do let your child swipe your card for you as a fun game. Especially if there are many people behind you waiting. It's more fun if your child is too young to know all their numbers and colors so what everyone hears is " no, the big green button. Do you remember what a two looks like?" Again in a sing songy voice.

When you bring an item to the cashier without a tag and she says she needs to call someone to get the UPC, just tell her the price. Obviously she never thought of that.

[ShinyGreenApple]

You also forgot . . .

It's ok to come to the checkout if you're not done shopping yet! The cashier and customers behind you don't mind at all when they're stuck waiting 15 minutes while you run to the other end of the store for 'one' thing that you forgot. Bonus if it's crap you didn't need, like a frozen pizza or bags of chips.

[Marxfan]

You forgot one!

Once you've purchased about $300 worth of groceries, block the line by carefully reading your mile long receipt so you can complain loudly and make a scene to the poor cashier about how they rung something up incorrectly, as if they deliberately tried to cheat you!