Is this the best you can do?

[KhirasHY]

Erm......why didn't you call the cops about that woman? Attempted arson is not to be taken lightly......

Because there's no way to prove it was her, unfortunately. Without proof, there's nothing the police could have done

[smileyeagle1021]

4) After telling everyone he had loved the massage, he then tried to get it comped the next morning. He pulls the "Well I'll just get it from the GM then!" line, not knowing that the GMs said not to compensate him for anything else.

It could be worse... he could have been talking to the GM and said that... we actually had that happen last week, had a guest who wasn't getting what he wanted and said "I'll just talk to the manager, (name) and I are good friends, he always takes care of me"... what he didn't know was that (name) had been fired and he was talking to the manager who had been promoted from another location... I wasn't there but I heard he said something like "I'm glad (name) always helps you... btw, he's now the night auditor at (not us), I'm (name), I'm the new manager." I wish I could have seen the look on the guests face. (and for the record, this is the same guest that the owners suspect the former GM was giving free rooms to every week... I guess that last episode was kind of further proof).

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

The jackass guy and the Expedia EW are examples of two kinds of people that REALLY piss me off.

You know I bet you see enough to drunks to make you want to stay 100% sober for a long time huh?

[Dave1982]

Erm......why didn't you call the cops about that woman? Attempted arson is not to be taken lightly......

[KhirasHY]

I've got more updates...

First, the rancid bitch decided to leave us a present that we found later. I can't prove it was her, but I know who did it...she lit a cigarette in the hall and just dropped it on the floor and let it burn. Our carpets are thankfully fireproof (which is good, because she dropped it outside someone else's door, and they would have been trapped had there been a fire), but it left a nice, black burn line. The higher management decided that they would not contact her: they don't want her back here.

Second, the guy who was an EW while I had the bleeding kid now has all this other crap he's done.

1) He bitched and moaned because he didn't get fake candles and rose petals in his room with his package at the time he expected...but he never communicated that he wanted them early, so they came at the regular time.
2) He ordered a chip and dip platter that is meant for 15 people...they told him this, and he didn't get it. They offered him an alternate dip platter that was for fewer people and he accepted that...then left it, almost untouched, outside his door with a note that said "We did not like or want this."
3) He had an appointment with our spa (an outside company), and got pissed when they called to verify that they could charge to his room. This is something they're contractually required to do, but he wouldn't listen when told that.
4) After telling everyone he had loved the massage, he then tried to get it comped the next morning. He pulls the "Well I'll just get it from the GM then!" line, not knowing that the GMs said not to compensate him for anything else.

I hate people like this...

[bainsidhe]

Quote: Me: This must be embarassing as all hell, right?

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ah, how you must've saved up for such a line!

And I love your police force. I always enjoy thier bluntness and occassional arrest. And holy hell, why oh why are so many of your patrons drunk-asses? Do you work in party central? No matter, it's not like you actually care about your job anyway.

[Nyx]

NAY poor fuckwit

That is like my new favorite thing. I'm probably going to be stealing that at some point.

[Darkwish]

Sorry, did I interrupt?

Wandered into the health club's locker room, and found myself inadvertently sneaking up on a couple going at it inside. They didn't notice me until I was right there...mainly because I cleared my throat, and simply said what I've always wanted to say:

Me: This must be embarassing as all hell, right?
Couple:
Me: Let's go...clothes on, then we'll see your IDs.

Sadly for them, they weren't guests, and had been let in there by a friend of theirs, and our police were still on property. They were also people we had let go nicely before for trying to go at it in a stairwell of all places, so they got arrested this time around...public indecency, I hear you have to register as a sex offender for that.

Did you let them finish or did you kill the mood?

If only they had just paid for a room (and actually gone there), they wouldn't have had a problem. I wonder if they think the "thrill" was worth it now...

[tigerlily0]

sleepwalker?

Got called into the lobby because some 20-something guy was walking around in his boxers and a t-shirt. Catch up to the kid, and have a surreal conversation that involves him mumbling something and me asking "what" then him mumbling and laughing, then hugging me.

My first thought was maybe this guy was sleepwalking?

[KhirasHY]

Does that "no smoking in businesses" thing also apply to, well, bars? As in stand alone bars that aren't attached to hotels. I can only imagine how hard the bar owners must've fought against it. So many smokers absolutely have to light up when drinking.

Yes, unfortunately...and bars took a big hit in their pocketbooks when it passed. They can let people smoke on balconies, and places like cigar bars were allowed to stay open (they had to exist as cigar bars before the law, they couldn't be grandfathered in), so smokers pitched a fit when it passed

[otakuneko]

Does that "no smoking in businesses" thing also apply to, well, bars? As in stand alone bars that aren't attached to hotels. I can only imagine how hard the bar owners must've fought against it. So many smokers absolutely have to light up when drinking.

[KhirasHY]

What are these laws about bringing in outside alcohol? I've never heard them in my life. People walk through the lobby and up to their rooms with a case of beer in each hand. Maybe it's different for us since we don't have a bar.

You hit the nail on the head...basically, any place that serves alcohol has to provide adequate control over peoples intoxication, so they can't allow outside alcohol legally. If you don't have a bar/serve alcohol there, then the law doesn't apply. If you do serve and get caught allowing it in...well...let's just say it's very bad for the hotel

[KhirasHY]

I'm probably jinxing myself with this, but I have more updates! To put this in perspective, this is the last 2 hours of my life.

Noise x2

We go up to the floors and issue a noise complaint, and this room is BAD. You can hear them from the elevators, and they're near the end of the hallway. Needless to say, within 10 seconds, I know we're going to be coming back...and sure enough, 10 minutes later, the second call comes in.

I wasn't standing right in front of the door during the first warning, so I didn't see everything inside...the second warning, I was not expecting what I saw. I counted 3 people passed out...one flat on the floor, one laying against the bed, and one on the counter in the bathroom.



I suspected we would be evicting them, but they actually mostly left...so maybe they'll be cool.

As an added bonus, I immediately then went across the hall to an even louder party and issued them a warning as well. This was not starting off well...

Drunks

The party that emptied out is going through the lobby, and we're on ok terms...then they pass two guys, and a flippant comment sets off the guys about how they are boyfriends, and the girls shouldn't flatter themselves (I'd agree with them on that score...it was bad). I, however, stop to make sure everything is ok, and become collateral damage as the guys immediately turn on me, "Oh come on, yeah, everyone come stare at the gay guys!" I laughed a little inside, and wished them a good night.

Moments later, I hear them screaming in the elevator, which requires a room key to go to guest floors overnight. They start in on me for a second, then realize I'm a nice guy after all, and I help them to their floor. The 2 guys, however, becomes 5 guys since we were in the wrong elevator bank, and I ended up getting cornered for a while wondering if I was going to get shanked by 5 drunk people. There was lots of questions about where to get hookers, and I mostly just ignored them and delivered them to their floor. I didn't go to their room though...I would've been stuck talking to them all damn day.

Really Drunk

I get back to the lobby, walk 10 feet, and see them from across the lobby: 1 guy and 1 girl are carrying another girl, passed out drunk.



I offer them a wheelchair, we get her seated, and I have to wheel her up to her damn room. Uncle Khiras is starting to get worn down.

Weird farking guy

I get back to the front desk, and the agent there is seriously weirded out by this guy talking to her. He's been asking for all this stuff, trying to get pictures of us, and basically just being...odd. I apparently looked like "a thundercloud" as it was described to me, since everyone noticed from a distance that my good humor had more or less vanished by that point, and he finally left.

I'm Looking For a Dude

That was the opening line this guy gave to us as he came to the front desk:

Guy: I'm looking for a dude. (pause)
CW and I: *nervous stare at one another*
Guy: His name's Blah Blahberson.
Me: *look it up, no one staying at any of our hotels in the area by that name* Sorry, we don't have that person staying here.
Guy: Well he's here...
Me: If you can get a hold of him, he can bring you to his room, but we don't have a record of him here. You're sure he's not at the <neighboring hotel>? It's right next door.
Guy: No, he's here.

I don't know what I was thinking, I decided to let him charge his cell phone for a second, and sure enough found him asleep moments later, just in time to kick his ass out of the hotel.

What about your...

Different guy walks up, and starts pestering us...

SC: What rooms do you have tonight, and how much is it?
CW: The rate tonight is $89, but all we have are parlor rooms with a murphy bed that pulls out from the wall.
SC: I don't want a bed like that...what about your high dollar rooms?
CW: No, that's all we have available is (this part is enunciated) a par-lor roo-m-uh wi-th a mur-phy beeee-d. (I laugh a bit once I notice this guy doesn't notice...)
SC: What about your presidential suite?
CW: No, all we have is the parlor rooms left.
SC: What about your party suites?
CW: No...we only have the parlor rooms with murphy beds. There are no other rooms available in the hotel.
(a guest comes and checks out, so he switches to me)
SC: Can I get her room?
Me: No, we can't rent out a dirty room.
SC: But she's leaving!
Me: We still can't rent out a dirty room.
SC: What about if I rent your bridal suite?
Me: We don't have anything left in the hotel except the murphy bed rooms...pickings are slim at 3:30am.
SC: *turns to the guest* Can I have your room?
Me: (You've gotta be kidding me!) Sir, please don't do that...we can rent you the $89, or if you'd like we can check our sister hotel.
*the guest checking out gives me a WONDERFUL look of thanks, because this guy is creepy and I just diverted him away*
SC: Where is your sister hotel?
Me: Not even 2 minutes away, do you want me to check their rates?
SC: Ok...

Call up the sister hotel, and they have $99 rooms with regular beds, so we send him over there. Funny thing is, he has a room at our neighboring hotel, and he needs a second room. Found out they had a domestic issue, and he basically got evicted. Stay classy.

If you're not a hooker, then I'm Barack Obama

I'm not new at this, lady. The look she gave me spoke of pure hesitation, because I know. She knows. She knows that I know.

That said, I'm not allowed to just boot her ass from the hotel (damn), but she decided it wasn't worth the risk to trade cash for ass tonight, and left.

Drunks

3 guys come to the front desk, looking for a woman. They give a description that 100% matches the hooker who just ran from the hotel moments before. Oops!

We mention she left in a bit of a hurry, and they all got very sad.

I laughed.

Drunks

We escort 2 drunk girls back to their room and tell them to stay there for pissing us off. How did they piss us off? They started grabbing the night cleaners buckets and mops and throwing water all over our nice, cleaned lobby floor, dirtying it right back up immediately.

I did let them know about the cleaning fee I charged to their room as well...$250, more than twice their room rate. That shit is still being re-cleaned.


And there you go...that's the last 2 hours of my life

Please god, someone kill me now!

[Mr Hero]

Don't get me started on Expedia. Those reservations have "Entitlement Whore" written all over.

What are these laws about bringing in outside alcohol? I've never heard them in my life. People walk through the lobby and up to their rooms with a case of beer in each hand. Maybe it's different for us since we don't have a bar.

The guy with needs more important than a medical emergency is a real douche. My faith in humanity has dropped several points and I'm ashamed to have been in the same state as him.

[smileyeagle1021]

Drunk? Maybe. Confused? Yes

Got called into the lobby because some 20-something guy was walking around in his boxers and a t-shirt. Catch up to the kid, and have a surreal conversation that involves him mumbling something and me asking "what" then him mumbling and laughing, then hugging me.

We got him back to his room eventually, and back to sleep, but it was a fun 15 minutes I would've minded the hugs, but he was actually pretty good looking for once...not even a beer gut! Definite improvement over my usual scantily-clad people...

I hate you... I finally got a good looking guy in boxers and then you get one that hugs you... must your guests always one up me

Expedia? Nay, sir.

We had a scammer here this week who was trying to get everything...he got an Expedia reservation, then tried to get a whole bunch of things for free. His requests this far:

1) Give me a free room because I'm an Expedia manager (Perhaps you don't realize, everyone in hotels HATES companies like yours. No.)
2) Give me free internet, I'm an Expedia manager (No.)
3) I want a second room for $50. (HA! Not happening.)
4) Make an Expedia-rate reservation for you. (EEERRRP! Wrong answer, and congratulations, we know you're a liar now. If you were really from Expedia, you would know that no hotel can do that. Sorry, play again.)

As a result of #4, the hotel management actually took away something they had given him (they gave him half off one night for a complaint), so he's being charged his full rate every night. Shouldn't have kept lying to us, pal!

A few things, honestly, the people from places like Expedia have no idea how much we hate them... they just don't have the ability to comprehend the suck that is their company for some reason. And actually some hotels can make the expedia rate reservation, at least I can, but that's because I've got authorization to override rates (ie, I can type any number I damn well please into the rate field) and I've actually figured out the formula for expedia's rate (both the rate we charge them and they charge guests)... I have way too much spare time at work, don't I