"I could have killed my husband!", or: How not to respond to police (long/language!)

[MercenaryMuffin]

Your quote made me realize I had a typo there, and because I'm a Grammar Nazi, I had to go back and fix it

But yeah, I take it she's not the most pleasant person in the world at any other time...

Also, to any fellow auditors here, I made a topic in the "General Work Chat" area. Feel free to join!

[IT Grunt]

Apparently he husband shouted out "That crazy bitch!" when the cop told him what happened

That right there speaks volumes. I suspect this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

[jjllbb]

How do people grow up and develop minds like that? It just...doesn't make any sense. Where do these people come from?

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Maybe when she said "I could have killed my husband," she was being serious? As in, she was abusing him. and he was the one who pressed the button?

[Calud]

Haha this is hilarious. Why do people do this to themselfs?

[smileyeagle1021]

wow... this is why I have police dispatch on speed dial at work

[MercenaryMuffin]

Wow, I never knew that. I guess that would explain a few people I've dealt with over the years. Had one guy pass the hell out on our lobby couch, and he wouldn't wake up for nothin'. Literally took four paramedics yelling in his ear and kicking his legs to wake his ass up.

[infinitemonkies]

I find that there's an innate comraderie between night-shift workers; We all deal with the same dregs of society that crawl out when the sun goes down, and with that sense of fellowship comes a great respect for the cops, who are the front line of dealing directly with the drunks, druggies and lunatics.

I've (so far) only once had a guest of my hotel call 911. I get an alert down at my desk, and book it up to the room. Knock on the door, no answer. Knock again louder, nothing. So I open the door, annouce I'm coming in.

Guy is on the phone with the 911 dispatch, completely oblivious to me, and also just the dispatcher. Hes just babbling away, in a panic, hoping he's giving the information they need. He's complaining of sudden dizziness, profuse sweating, and he's gone almost completely deaf.

Officer arrives in a minute, with paramedics en route. I lead him up to the room, and the first question he asks of the guest: "Have you done a lot of cocaine tonight?"

As it turns out, the guest had, and I learned that deafness is one symptom of a coke overdose.

[Kenarik]

Not I thought some of the Cop Show I have to run have stupid people in them.... I work for the local My Network TV Station. Tuesday night is nothing but Cop Show between 8 and 10 pm.

[Eireann]

It reminds me of the quote by Einstein: "Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the former."

[MercenaryMuffin]

Hello, folks. Sitting here bored at work, so I thought I'd share some of the SCs I've ruthlessly slaughtered had to deal with in the recent weeks.

How DARE you check on me when I hit the emergency button!

A few weeks ago, I was keeping myself occupied at about 5am when the "Room Emergency" button starts beeping on our front desk phone. In order for it to do this, someone in a room had to have hit a very clearly labeled "EMERGENCY" button on their room phone. This automatically dials 911, as well as signaling the phone up at the desk. If we get the emergency notice, we call up the room. 911 usually calls us within about 30 seconds of this button being pressed, so we know whether it's an emergency or an accidental button press, and we can inform them of such. Thankfully, so far, it's always been an accidental press (at least when I've been on duty).

Anyway, the emergency button starts beeping, and I immediately call up the room. Some woman answers the phone...

SC: "What?!"
Me: "Ma'am, this is the front desk calling, I've received an emergency notification from your room. Is everything alright?"
SC: "Of course it is, what would be wrong?!"
Me: "Well I wasn't sure, that's why I'm calling you. Maybe you hit the emergency button on your phone by mistake?"
SC: "Don't be ridiculous, I would never do that! And HOW DARE YOU call me up at this hour! My husband is sleeping!"
Me: "Ma'am, there's no need to be upset about this, I was calling to make sure you were alright."
SC: "I was just fine until you called me!"
Me: "I need to let you know that a police officer will be by your room within the next 15 minutes or so. I'll be getting a call from the emergency services any second now, I'll tell them you're alright. They will send a uniformed officer over to check on you anyway. This is standard procedure when we get an emergency notice."
SC: "Don't you dare send some pig to my door!"
Me: "Ma'am, there's no need to talk like that, this is for you and your husband's safety. We can't be too careful."
SC: "I have never been treated so poorly in my life! I'll see you fired for this!!!"
*click*
Me: "..."

Wow. So 911 calls me up seconds after she hangs up, and I tell them that she says she's fine, and they say they'll send an officer over. No big deal, had this happen a few times before.

About five minutes later, an officer shows up. Good guy, I've had him out here a few times before, and I always let him know he's welcome to stop by whenever he wants and grab some coffee and bite to eat. I have the highest respect for the police out here, so it's nice to give back in whatever way I can.

Anyway, I told him what happened, and he says "Oh boy...this is gonna be interesting." I point him to the room in question, and he walks off down the hallway.
He knocks on the door, and she answers a few seconds later. I can hear them decently enough.

Cop: "Ma'am, I'm Sergeant Henderson with the Clark County Police Department. We got an emergency call from your room, is everything alright?"
SC: "I just told that little punk at the front desk that it was! Why are you here, don't you have anything better to do?!"
Cop: "I'm making sure you and your husband are alright, ma'am."
SC: "He's fine, I'm fine, we're all just fucking fine here!"

I assume he could see the husband from where he was standing.

Cop: "There's no need to curse, ma'am."
SC: "I'll curse if I damn well please!"
Cop: "Okay, well you have a good morning."
SC: "Aren't you going to push past me and walk in the room?!"
Cop: "...Why would I do that?"
SC: "How do you know everything's alright?! I could have killed my husband!"
Cop: "...excuse me?"
SC: "I could have killed him, and you would have never known!!"
Cop: "Ma'am, I can see your husband from here, he looks fine to me. Now if there's nothing wrong, I'll just be on my way. Here's a card with our station phone number, and my name and badge number, if you need anything."
SC: "I can't believe the nerve of you people!"
Cop: "Have a good morning, ma'am."
*Door SLAMS*

What the fuck is wrong with some people?
Oh, but that's not all. After the cop is done talking to her, he stops by the desk to chat with me for a minute. We both laugh at the crazy bitch/could-be-murderer, when we hear a door open. Guess who it is!

SC: "I'm not done with you!"
Cop:"..."
Me: "..."
SC: "Do you know how much I hate you people?!"
Cop: "I can take a guess."
SC: "The nerve of BOTH of you! I can't believe you'd knock on my door at five in the morning! And YOU!"
*points to me*
SC: "What's your name?! I'm going to have your ass fired for this!"
Me: "What did I do?!"
Cop: "You leave him alone, he didn't do anything."
SC: "Hilton will know about you! You'll be lucky to clean the toilets here after I'm done with you!"
Cop: "You're being completely irrational! This man did his job! He called to check on you in an emergency situation, how is that something he should be fired for?"
SC: "You damn pigs! You're all corrupt, you know that?!"
Cop: "News to me."
Me: "Same here."
SC: "You stay out of this!"
Me: "You're threatening to have me fired for doing my job, I think I have a say in this."
Cop: "Just calm down and go back to your room, this is over now."
SC: "The hell it is! My husband is very old and if you didn't come in the room he could have died and *rant rant rant*"
Cop: "You have my card, take it up with the police department if you so feel the need."
SC: "I will NEVER stay here again!"
Cop: "I can only hope so for this young man's sake"
SC: *rant rant rant*
Cop: "Okay, we're done here. You have a nice morning."
SC: "You god damn pigs!"

At this point, she does something I couldn't believe, and SPITS ON THE COP

Cop: "...okay, now you can put your arms behind your back for me."
SC: "Bullshit! Fucking cops, I fucking hate all of you!"
Cop :"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."
Me: "I suggest you exercise that right."

The cop has to fight back a laugh when I say that.

Cop: "You have the right..." and so on.
She's screaming obscenities the whole time. As she's being hand cuffed, as she's being taken out to the car, as she's put in the back seat, etc.
The officer puts her in the car and walks back up to me.

Cop: "Ugh. I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
Me: "Sam here, man. Especially after you got spit on. What the hell is her problem?" (Yes, I know him well enough to refer to him as such)
Cop: "I don't know, but now she's being taken in for assault. Most likely no charges will come from this, but maybe a few hours in lock up will clear her mind a little. We'll have someone come by to inform her husband shortly."

Apparently her husband shouted out "That crazy bitch!" when the cop told him what happened
Oh man...the people I get here, I swear. Sorry for the long story, but at least it was entertaining, right? That man is my hero.