Let Me Tell You How I Really Feel

[Igorina]

As Jester opined, sitting around the house vegetating is only good for a day or two.
I'd suggest a nice relaxing massage, or three.
No matter what, I hope you can relax and enjoy yourself.

[Jester]

Where to even start?

I am officially on vacation now, so my tales will come to an end for the next few weeks. As I plan to do little else except lay around the house, making an odd noise. This will be my first vacation in over a year in a hal...

Wait, you have several weeks of vacation, and your only plan is to lay around the house? Please tell me that you were exaggerating, that that was your use of poetic license, and you have some plan to do something good for yourself, whether it be to go somewhere, enjoy something in Vancouver you don't normally get to enjoy, such as some natural beauty, theater, social activity, what have you....but something.

SC: “Oh, can you tell me how to drive to the <some random hotel> from the airport?”

"Why yes, yes I can. From the airport, you want to take your first right. Keep going until you see the next right. Take it. Continue along that road until you can turn right. After taking that turn, you will see another right. Take it. Now, you will either end up back at the airport or not. If you end up back at the airport, get on the first plane back to wherever the fuck you came from, never to return. If you don't end up back at the airport, keep making rights until you run out of gas or develop some common sense. Me, I'm betting on the empty gas tank myself."

Klaatu Barada Nikto

"Givmme some sugar, baby."

SC: “And that is, stopping someone from using my mind without my consent.”

Using this person's mind without their consent is the equivalent of taking your neighbor's broken down car without his consent. You know the one--'81 Chevette, broken clutch cable, only one of four brakes actually working, engine sputtering, shocks gone, the kind of car that, if it actually had a radio, the radio would be worth more than the entire rest of the car? Yeah. Like that. Only minus the running motor.

(Sadly, I did not pull that car out of thin air or even my imagination. Ended up as a passenger four-wheeling in it in the desert on New Year's Eve 1987. Hell of a party.)

.....on...top of that? I think 20-40% off normally $300-400 jackets and coats is remarkably generous. And you want a sale on top of that?

Generous, reasonable, and fair. Which is naturally why this douchewaddle is not satisfied or happy with it.

SC: “C'mon man, it’s Black Friday, ya’ll GOTTA have a sale!”

Total Black Friday sales at my place of employment, other than the food specials we were already running anyway and the normal Happy Hour specials: Zero.

Proving that, no, you don't GOTTA have a sale on Black Friday.

SC: "He's smokin' on the driveway now."

...I'm not entirely sure what to say to that. Breakfast?

Grave, Grave, Grave. Breakfast? Seriously, dude? What are you thinking.

Seared and Smoked Squirrel is clearly a lunch-time meal.

Pfft. Breakfast. As IF.

SC: “…uh….what does that mean?”

"It means I'm dropping you from my fantasy team, that's for sure."

Sorry, couldn't resist. Some of you will actually get that joke. The rest of you...again, I'm sorry.

What were you watching? Saw 4?

Please. This dude wouldn't understand the subtleties, nuances, and plot twists in Saw 4. Hell, he'd have problems figuring out how to press "PLAY" on his dvd player!

That wasn't loose so much as slightly unraveled.
Loose would get me banned. >.>

Well then, in that case, for both your sanity and our amusement, please, get loose on fratching. Where such rants are allowed. Because I know I am not the only one who really wants to see you unleash.

yes, enjoy your vacation; you've earned it and then some. *wheels in a tapped keg of gk's beer of choice, pizza and all the snacks he can consume, plus a large supply of dvds*

Okay, GK, I know you've said in the past that you don't drink. But you are stressed out beyond belief, you are virtually pulling your hair out from your customers, and you have an apparently lengthy vacation coming up.

So I am suggesting--nay, ORDERING--that you go have some fun. Drink. Carouse. Get laid. Flirt. Meet people. Cut loose. Be one of those obnoxious douchebags on the Sky Train that drive everyone else nuts. Do something. But don't just sit around your apartment and do nothing. That is not healthy, and won't help you decompress all that much from the idiocy that are your callers, both from the Northern Wastes and other parts. In essence....

"You gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off your damn work shoes. Please, Louise, pull Grave up off of his knees. Jack, get back, c'mon before Grave cracks. Lose your blues. Grave ya gotta cut footloose..."

[Food Lady]

Have a good vacation, GK! I'll miss your weekly posts, but your sanity is worth more. Here, have some corn muffins! Also, is anyone else with me in petitioning the mods to give GK a temporary immunity from bannage just to hear what him cutting loose sounds like?

Perhaps a rant on Fratching with a link here? Although I think with this post he nailed it.

[Andara Bledin]

I am officially on vacation now, so my tales will come to an end for the next few weeks.

As sad as it will be to arrive on Monday next and find no update from you, it's good to hear you've escaped for a few weeks to reassemble the dessicated remains of your sanity.

SC: “Because I got this number from their website.”

SC: “You sure, because I looked it up on a website.”

But... But... The Internet can't be wrong!

Are the buttons shiny?

Hmm... I'm betting their candy-like buttons. Nobody can resist candy-like buttons.

First of all, Black Friday is an American construct and its raging insanity does not apply to the rest of us.

Yet. >_>

I'd apologize, but it's none of my doing.

^-.-^

[Syriilord]

For the record, at least here in Ireland, the Necronomicon DOES exist for sale. Unfortunately, it does not allow you to summon the Elder Gods to smite foes and cause babbling madness on sight. It is a commemorative collector's edition of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft in their original printed form, spelling and grammar mistakes and ye olde English and all. I have a copy myself and love reading it. Especially in public near churches

[Marmalady]

Re:the colour know as 'dove'.

I was looking through a catolgue yesterday and was remarking ranting about the colours.

It isn't dove, or gunmetal, or espressso or haze - it's grey.
It isn't fudge, or saddle, or rust, or chocolate - it's brown.
It isn't loganberry - it's purple.

Ah yes, but then a (male) friend of mine maintains that men only see in 16 colours, a bit like Windows default settings.

[LadyAndreca]

Re:the colour know as 'dove'.

I was looking through a catolgue yesterday and was remarking ranting about the colours.

It isn't dove, or gunmetal, or espressso or haze - it's grey.
It isn't fudge, or saddle, or rust, or chocolate - it's brown.
It isn't loganberry - it's purple.

I thought espresso was dark brown to black...

Oddly, I know exactly what colors dove, gunmetal, and haze are. >_>

[chainedbarista]

SC: “Because I got this number from their website.”

are you sure it wasn't the button mashing that did it? and the guys looking for a taxi?

bear rangers...some things are best left unexplored. *cringes*

yes, enjoy your vacation; you've earned it and then some. *wheels in a tapped keg of gk's beer of choice, pizza and all the snacks he can consume, plus a large supply of dvds*

[TheRabbi]

Have a good vacation, GK! I'll miss your weekly posts, but your sanity is worth more. Here, have some corn muffins!

Also, is anyone else with me in petitioning the mods to give GK a temporary immunity from bannage just to hear what him cutting loose sounds like?

[cinema guy]

Re:the colour know as 'dove'.

I was looking through a catolgue yesterday and was remarking ranting about the colours.

It isn't dove, or gunmetal, or espressso or haze - it's grey.
It isn't fudge, or saddle, or rust, or chocolate - it's brown.
It isn't loganberry - it's purple.

[Thuringwethyl]

I'll miss your stories but it'll be a good trade off for your sanity. Have a good vacation!

[MoonCat]

Well, then, let me be the first to say...



THANK YOU!!!

[Kheldarson]

Enjoy your vacation!


And wow your northern clients...but then again, the lack of manners thing is rather rampant everywhere period. >.< Maybe we should institute parenting licenses. I'd have less kids to teach.

[Treasure]

Enjoy your vacation; we look forward to the return of your stories in a few weeks.

[Gravekeeper]

Wow. Gravekeeper finally just vents and cuts loose on the Northern Wastes. Never thought I'd see the day.

That wasn't loose so much as slightly unraveled. Loose would get me banned. >.>