The Bizzare, The Violent and Just Plain Stupid

[dalesys]

Two away zone? So tempted to turn that into a sexual euphemism!

Well, first you knock one off, then the next batter flies his balls (can't zip for s**t)... Hey Sheldonrs! You're on dick deck!

[Gizmo]

30 MINUTE PARKING
TWO AWAY ZONE

Two away zone? So tempted to turn that into a sexual euphemism!

[fireheart]

So, I’m in a lot doing my dirty work on some unfortunate soul who didn’t obey the “Private Parking” signs when an SUV pulls into the lot. Driver rolls down his window

...and says "Hey buddy, where'd ya keep your hookers?"

Seriously, am I the only one who's mind sank into the gutter upon reading that quote?!

[wolfie]

Too bad the guys who asked you about parking (on what was posted as a private lot) were civilians. It cost you the opportunity for a zinger "Sure the lot says 'Private', but just because you are one doesn't mean you can park there. Didn't they tell you in basic training that if you see your rank on a door, you stay out?"

[Rainman]

Well clearly this guy, whether or not he's actually a soldier, IS a complete POS!

Ha ha, yes clearly.

[RayvenQ]

-You ain’t got nothing better to do than look for cars to tow?

"Well sir, we're a towing company, towing people is kinda our thing"

[Jester]

Because most soldiers (at least the vast majority who AREN'T a complete POS) would know they would get REAMED in a bad way for threatening a civilian..

Well clearly this guy, whether or not he's actually a soldier, IS a complete POS!

[Rainman]

I have to wonder if that first "military" clown was being legit, did he ever show you a military ID or anything? Because most soldiers (at least the vast majority who AREN'T a complete POS) would know they would get REAMED in a bad way for threatening a civilian. I've seen guys get into some pretty heavy trouble for saying much less then that guy did.

Those guys were military, huh? I wonder how they do around things marked "CAUTION: EXPLOSIVE." Do they not read those signs either?

That first guy really took the cake. I wonder what planet he dropped in from.

LOL you would be amazed how many times I have had to yell at soldiers to STOP SMOKING BY THE BIG TRUCK WITH A FULL 500 GALLON FUEL TANK ON IT!! There were explosive and flammable signs literally all over it. Never helped.

[Jester]

I mean you don’t add anything of value to this community!

I'd wager a few bucks that the people that actually have valid parking permits for that lot, and others like it, would disagree with this assessment.

[Argabarga]

"-Look, I’m from out of town, and I didn’t know I couldn’t park there!"

How does that even work? Whitehall, Montana, Viroqua, Wisconsin, Pulaski, Tennessee, London, Ontario, Anytown, Anywhere, more or less, has places where you're not allowed to park, and regulations in place for dealing with that. But I can picture the look on the guy's face as he says, "Look, I’m from out of town, and I didn’t know I couldn’t park there!" with a tone of voice that says, "Well that's just the craziest thing I've ever heard! You can do that?"

And, for all the Little Pardners out there, wiser people than me have said, "The phrase, 'I'm too busy to read signs!', doesn't make you look like a savvy, hip, on-the-go person. It makes you look like an idiot."

That and the "but I parked there before and didn't get towed" excuse are the two lamest, hackneyed, overused, cliche, repetitive and ultimately, USELESS excuses that I get ALL THE TIME.

You're from out of town? They not have parking meters where you're from? They don't have Fire Lanes where you're from? Somehow, I doubt it. The whole reason for the SIGNS are specifically for people who might not be familiar with the area....

And as for the second. People have been trying that on speeding tickets for years now, it didn't work back then, it doesn't work today, and it won't work in the future.

[Brojekk]

Next time a military member pulls that BS with their ID, ask for the name and phone number of their commanding officer or commanding NCO.

That'll shut them up real quick. Their CO won't take kindly to finding out they are abusing their military status to get out of a towing fee they legally owe.

This...exactly.

[TonyDonuts]

"-Look, I’m from out of town, and I didn’t know I couldn’t park there!"

How does that even work? Whitehall, Montana, Viroqua, Wisconsin, Pulaski, Tennessee, London, Ontario, Anytown, Anywhere, more or less, has places where you're not allowed to park, and regulations in place for dealing with that. But I can picture the look on the guy's face as he says, "Look, I’m from out of town, and I didn’t know I couldn’t park there!" with a tone of voice that says, "Well that's just the craziest thing I've ever heard! You can do that?"

And, for all the Little Pardners out there, wiser people than me have said, "The phrase, 'I'm too busy to read signs!', doesn't make you look like a savvy, hip, on-the-go person. It makes you look like an idiot."

[Mr Hero]

Of COURSE you contribute to the community with your job! While that whiner was so eager to attack your job, you should have said that the $115 you get per car towed goes out to fund the American economy when you shop at local businesses!

If the SC is stranded on the side of the road, be sure to remind him just how useful to society you are.

[Mytical]

How does that expression go, again...? Oh yeah, something like "A demo tech running at a dead sprint outranks EVERYONE"

Or, alternatively, the civvie/t-shirt form, with this written on the back: "Bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up"

so glad I didn't have something to drink before reading those. Sad part it is true. When the people that risk their lives for others on a daily bases suddenly turn tail and run..it is time to hit mach speed.

[downforit2008]

Of COURSE you contribute to the community with your job! While that whiner was so eager to attack your job, you should have said that the $115 you get per car towed goes out to fund the American economy when you shop at local businesses!

Sorry to hear about your troubles, though. If it makes you feel any better, I go to visit my friend who lives in an apartment complex with the same parking rules, and I WALK THERE to go visit him, especially considering that I live two blocks away. And if I didn't, I'd take the bus.