Are We Unclear on the Concept or Something?

[Jester]

Alrighty then....I'll try to get him to type it up one of these days.

[Stone]

The actual story takes him about 15 minutes to tell, and if you can still breathe without medical aid at the end, you aren't human.

Challenge accepted.

[PepperElf]

Of course, just like the old Zork games, individual commands are not always the way to go. Sometimes repeating lines is the trick. Which is why they keep trying the same lines over and over again.

Makes me think of a good response:

"This isn't Zork. There's not a special syntax or command you can use that will create something we do not have. If you ask for it again you'll be eaten by a grue."

[Jester]

Sure - so, Monday next week then? Can do.

Hey, you never said 'which' Monday!

True story: a friend of mine who makes me laugh until it hurts has this one story about one of his dates. He promised her father that he would have her home by midnight. And he did. The next day. Hey, hey never said WHICH midnight.

The story is hilarious as he tells it, which basically ends with him driving his motorcycle through the hedge between Dad's and Neighbor's property, dragging Dad along with him through the hedge, since Dad was holding on to the motorcycle trying to keep Friend from taking off, so that Dad could KILL Friend, and with Date's panties hanging out of Friend's back pocket, right in front of Dad's face. And with Friend's motorcycle spewing dirt and sod right up into Dad's face throughout the whole thing.

The actual story takes him about 15 minutes to tell, and if you can still breathe without medical aid at the end, you aren't human.

[wolfie]

I overheard something similar recently: "No, I can't do Tuesday, you will have it to me by Monday..."

Hmm... not likely. The employee did not look impressed and looked happy to say "Sorry, Tuesday is the earliest I can do."

I can have it to you for Tuesday the 2nd. If you insist on Monday, I can have it to you for Monday the 8th.

How many SCs will only hear the "Monday" or "Tuesday", and choose the 8th?

[KatherineB]

I overheard something similar recently: "No, I can't do Tuesday, you will have it to me by Monday..."

Sure - so, Monday next week then? Can do.

Hey, you never said 'which' Monday!

[Gizmo]

"When can I get my ad in?"
"Monday."
"Not Saturday?"
"No, Monday is the soonest."
"What about Sunday?"
"Monday is the soonest."
"So I can't get it in tomorrow?"
"NO. MON-DAY!"
"Oh, okay. So, for Sunday, then?"

I overheard something similar recently: "No, I can't do Tuesday, you will have it to me by Monday..."

Hmm... not likely. The employee did not look impressed and looked happy to say "Sorry, Tuesday is the earliest I can do."

[wolfie]

There's a partial extract of the checklist of secret passphrases used, you know. They include...

Can you check?
Is it out the back?
Any in storage?
Any being held for someone else?
Maybe the delivery has been made and it hasn't been put out yet?
Are you sure?

The bolded one is the suckiest - since the "person" you're dealing with wants you to sell THEM one that someone who got there first (i.e. phoned from out of town and is on their way over to pick it up) already ordered.

[Jester]

If I knew you wouldn't kick my ass, I would *so* walk in some day and do just this

Go for it. Make my day.

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

No. That would be a far more intelligent question. To which I would ask YOU some questions, so I could figure out what kind of rum you would like.

For example, are you normally a whiskey drinker? Vodka? Gin? Wine? Beer?

What do you normally drink? Are you looking to try rum cocktails, or does fine sipping rum appeal to you? Do you like sweet drinks, or something drier?

There is no single rum that is good for a rum virgin, just as there is no single rum that is, as they often ask, "good."

But if you need guidance in rum, just ask. I'll do what I can. I have guided friends, customers, and CSers in rum over the years, and enjoy doing it. So, just let me know.

[dalesys]

I'm sorry, I can't make this any simpler without having to draw you little pictures.

Or explain in words of one letter or less:
U R N A O

[Pagan]

SC: *talking over me* Do you have any diesel round the back?

Around back? Ok, that's just a stupid.

Turns out he was looking for his uncle who, it was claimed, lived in the complex. No matter how many times my DM explained that no, he wasn't in this apartment; no, he didn't live in the other two apartments on the ground floor; and no, nobody here knows if he lives in any of the other apartments, you'll have to get in touch with him yourself; he just didn't seem to get it.

Had some woman at my door insisting that this was her daughter's apartment. Couldn't get her to realize that, no, while this is indeed apt #****, this street number is 3405, you're looking for 3505, which is the next complex down.

Went round about three times. I finally looked at her and said, "Ma'am, this apartment isn't that big. I would have noticed if there was someone else living here with me!"

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

I was wondering that, too. While I know a lot about wine, Scotch, and tequila and fair amount about beer, I know next to nothing about rum.

[Sapphire Silk]

One of these days, when I am not overly busy, one of these yahoos is going to call me on my bluff, and insist I tell them what I like. And if it is, as I said, not busy, I will take a deep breath and say:

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

[AccountingDrone]

THEM: "I'd like a rum and coke."
ME: "Sir, we have over 175 rums. Do you have any preference?"
THEM: "Something good."

If I knew you wouldn't kick my ass, I would *so* walk in some day and do just this

[MoonCat]

"When can I get my ad in?"
"Monday."
"Not Saturday?"
"No, Monday is the soonest."
"What about Sunday?"
"Monday is the soonest."
"So I can't get it in tomorrow?"
"NO. MON-DAY!"
"Oh, okay. So, for Sunday, then?"

[draco664]

It becomes a "how do I possibly rephrase the most simple of instructions in a way that I haven't already done"?

You may think that, but it has nothing to do with you or your ability to dumb things down. It's all about how long the idiot on the other side of the conversation will take to accept that reality is not the way they envisioned it. They want X, therefore X must be available, and it only takes finding the precise request format.

So when you tell them X isn't available, they can't/won't accept that, because they're a speshul snowflake. So they try and find the secret handshake/special reason/correct passphrase that will cause you to say, "Oh, that changes everything! Of course we have X. Here you go."

There's a partial extract of the checklist of secret passphrases used, you know. They include...

Can you check?
Is it out the back?
Any in storage?
Any being held for someone else?
Maybe the delivery has been made and it hasn't been put out yet?
Are you sure?

Of course, just like the old Zork games, individual commands are not always the way to go. Sometimes repeating lines is the trick. Which is why they keep trying the same lines over and over again.

So, it's not you, or your ability to explain things. It's them. It's all them. The fail is 100% with them.