My mom is unsupportable.

[skeptic53]

Most of their marriage Mom was the record-keeper, bill-payer, tax-preparer etc. She's now mildly demented at age 84 and is in assisted living. Dad is 85 & reasonably with-it but has never been good with finances etc.

So, I took over paying their bills. I set up on-line bill pay with their credit union, had as many bills as possible set up as e-bills coming to the credit union, the rest Dad was supposed to email me with the amount.

He keeps making total hash of the system because he won't let my email be the contact email, and he wants paper bills coming to his address. He will get come-on emails from credit card companies, the power company, etc with the cheery proposal to "pay your bill online! Get rid of paper bills!". So he signs up, which stops the e-bill and switches it to an email notification coming to HIS email. He assumes that I will see the bill like I used to, but I don't. Then he gets mad when there's a late fee.

Even worse is the situation with improved security at on-line banking and credit sites, where you have to pick a symbol and pick 4 or 5 "secret" questions to answer.

He got it so that neither of us could log in to half his accounts, because he can't type. He'd make a typo in the answer to the secret question, and we couldn't duplicate it. We'd try different combos and the account would get locked.

Now, I have power of attorney AND I'm a legal signatory to all his accounts (like joint checking). This cuts no ice with the IT departments of theses places. They will only unlock the account if my dad gets on the phone. Two problems: He's nearly deaf, and like the OP's mom, he gets rattled and can't follow what they are asking him to do. If the phone is on speaker phone, he can't hear them. If it's not on speaker phone, I can't hear the convo and can't help him. His phones are not set up to listen in on an extension.

He has cancelled two credit cards because he couldn't get through the process of unlocking the on-line access to the accounts. These cards had great rates, no annual fee, etc and now he no longer can use them.

It's driving me nucking futs. I keep begging him to call me first BEFORE he signs up for anything or changes anything, but he never does.

FYI, for the "secret questions", ANY answer will do. Not only that, but you can have the SAME answer for all of them. He picked a 4-letter word (not a cuss word) that he can remember and made it the answer to all his secret questions. This solved a big part of the problem.

Thank gord he has a Mac, he belongs to a Mac club, and they help him with his frequent software snafus. Otherwise my life would be hell.

[CSR Kim]

see, now I'd gotten so many of the bogus paypal e-mails that when Paypal started sending me notices that I was under suspicion for bogus auctions and nonpayment and that I was going to be suspended, I ignored them. Right up until I got a particularly nasty one, decided to log into my paypal account, and couldn't. That's when I phoned them to tell them that my account had been hacked, and they literally told me it was my problem, they couldn't do anything about it.

I've heard their customer service is kind of lacking. A friend of mine's mom actually went off on them over the phone (true SC style), I can't really remember what the issue was though.

[tollbaby]

see, now I'd gotten so many of the bogus paypal e-mails that when Paypal started sending me notices that I was under suspicion for bogus auctions and nonpayment and that I was going to be suspended, I ignored them. Right up until I got a particularly nasty one, decided to log into my paypal account, and couldn't. That's when I phoned them to tell them that my account had been hacked, and they literally told me it was my problem, they couldn't do anything about it.

[Captain Trips]

That's the dead giveaway, if you know to look for it; the average user probably doesn't even know what the status bar is for. The anti-phishing sections of sites should really include that info...as well as how, even if the link includes "www.paypal.com" or whatever site they're spoofing, it's not always the site (IIRC, there's a symbol used in URLs that instructs a browser to disregard anything coming before it, so the location bar up top is fooled).

AND ... you have to be careful even then, the phishers are getting better all the time. Watch out for things like www.paypa1.com or www.paypai.com where with slightly poor vision, a 1 or an i can look like an l. And if it's one with an o in the legitimate url, watch out for those with an 0 instead. Things like that.

[technical.angel]

Firefox 2.0.0.1 and IE7 both does. I just checked.

Jenni

[trunks2k]

(IIRC, there's a symbol used in URLs that instructs a browser to disregard anything coming before it, so the location bar up top is fooled).

Depends on the web browser. I believe firefox and IE7 don't do that anymore.

[Dreamstalker]

If you mouse over any of the "click here" or whatever links in the PayPal email, it will not say www.paypal.com on the status bar. A lot of the new fishing emails have "www.paypal.com" in the link though, to try and trick even more ignorant people.

That's the dead giveaway, if you know to look for it; the average user probably doesn't even know what the status bar is for. The anti-phishing sections of sites should really include that info...as well as how, even if the link includes "www.paypal.com" or whatever site they're spoofing, it's not always the site (IIRC, there's a symbol used in URLs that instructs a browser to disregard anything coming before it, so the location bar up top is fooled).

[myswtghst]

Some days, especially when I read these types of stories, I'm so glad that:

1) My brother is a computer genius. (He's built several computers, including one for me and one for my Grandma, uses Macs and PCs equally well, has taken programming classes and such in college, etc) No one comes to me for tech support, and I can go to him with my questions.

2) Everyone in the family, Grandma included, is relatively technologically able. At least, to the point where their questions make sense and they can understand simple commands.

3) The members of my family also seem to know their limits. They do not try to use advanced programs, and know to read the manual before asking "stupid" questions.

That being said, most of my computer-related problems have had to do with my kitties roosting on the keyboard and finding all sorts of commands I didn't even know existed. That's fun to come home to.

[CanadaGirl]

Those fake Paypal emails are annoying. I swear I get around 5 a week.

Easy way to show your mom if one of those is fake is one of two things:
1. It's sent to the email that is NOT the email you use to log into Paypal
2. If you mouse over any of the "click here" or whatever links in the PayPal email, it will not say www.paypal.com on the status bar. A lot of the new fishing emails have "www.paypal.com" in the link though, to try and trick even more ignorant people.

[Kara]

My parents are totally clueless when it comes to anything with electronic parts. Luckilly they have a techno-geek they can rely on for everything, and call her at least once a week. I don't mind helping them though. Most of the time it's just little things; they're afraid they can accidentally hit the wrong button and their PC (or TV, or GPS navigator, or phone) will burst into flames. I wish my customers had easy problems like they do.

[CSR Kim]

Your mom is so lucky you caught that Paypal thing before she sent it. I'd hate to think if you'd happened by 5 minutes later...

Tell me about it. What's sad is, I had to lay it out for her exactly why it was a scam. She even said, at one point, "It LOOKED like it was from PayPal!"

[BookstoreEscapee]

My dad has a friend like that. He's just hopeless and calls at least once a week for help. So my dad feels your pain

Your mom is so lucky you caught that Paypal thing before she sent it. I'd hate to think if you'd happened by 5 minutes later...

[CSR Kim]

I have pretty much been my mom's tech support since the first time we got a computer back in 1997 or so (when I was 16). Which is really sad, since I am not "fluent" in computers, but I know enough to get around and fix most every day problems I run into.

My mom comes to me when she has computer issues because calling tech support is "too confusing" for her. These are some of the things that make me die inside:

-- My mom has had AOL since the beginning of time. Almost 3 years ago, they got DSL at the house. My mom has not gotten rid of AOL because she does not understand how to use any other e-mail service. My brother even set her up with a Yahoo account. When I tried to show her how to use I.E., she asked me where her AOL favorite places are. In the end, she decided to keep AOL (and DSL).

-- One time I found my mom filling out a form on a "PayPal" website. She had received an e-mail stating that her account had been "compromised" and that she needed to click on the included link and re-provide her banking information, including credit card number. I stopped her, and had to point out on PayPal's real website where it states they will never ask for account information via e-mail, etc.

-- When I lived at home, our DSL would go out from time to time. Not a big problem, really. Most of the time it was easily fixed by rebooting the modem and the router and rebooting the computer. I showed my mom many, many times how to fix this. Nevertheless, every time the internet was down, she'd freak out and come to me to have me "do what I do" to fix it. If my little bit of troubleshooting didn't work, she'd want me to call tech support, because she doesn't "get" some of the stuff they tell her.

-- I moved out in December, and my mom decided to move the computer from the kitchen, to my old bedroom. She calls me and leaves me a message a few weeks later saying something about the internet not working. I call her back a couple of hours later, and she says that she thinks she knows what the problem is, she just doesn't know how to fix it. I say, what's the problem? She says, well, when I try to sign on it keeps saying "no dial tone detected" I immediately say, you do not "dial up" to your internet connection. You have DSL. She kept thinking she did not have internet because somehow in her AOL connection box, she had selected "Dial Up" instead of "DSL/LAN". It never occurred to her to open up I.E. and see if she was connected.

Those are just a few of the things my mom has done to make me hurt inside. There are some people who just do not need access to a computer.