The question never to ask of someone you don't know....

[Food Lady]

So I was at work tonight, shopping. (It's actually my day off.) I was minding my own business when some lady came up to me, went "awww," patted my stomach and asked me "how many months?" My response was a curt, "I'm not pregnant." It's bad enough she assumed, but to touch me?? I'm not really mad, but amazed people do that sort of thing. stupid monthly bloat....*sigh*

[myswtghst]

We had this discussion at work recently. My feeling on the issue is I would never ever ever congratulate someone on being pregnant without either a) them telling me themself, or b) a trusted source confirming.

My college roommate and her sisters tend to carry all their weight in their midsection, while remaining skinny in the legs and arms, so if she put on weight, she ended up looking preggers. That taught me quick not to assume!

[Anakah]

I don't care if someone is pregnant to me it's NEVER okay to just touch someone else. If and when I am pregnant and someone touches me like that... I will tell them to remove their hands before I start to scream. It's a total violation.

I hate hearing the: Are you pregnant? It's okay when you are and you can say with pride: I am ___ months along. But when you're not, it's embarassing and its very rude.

At my job at Mikasa I had a really evil supervisior who one day out of the blue asked me if I was pregnant. I returned with: No, I'm just fat, thanks. And I wasn't even that big back then...

Did she have that horrified expression after?

My fiance rubbed my stomach in public and one of his friends says: So, when are you due? I glared, growled and my fiance pulled me away before I said anything mean.

[Alfie]

I don't care if someone is pregnant to me it's NEVER okay to just touch someone else. If and when I am pregnant and someone touches me like that... I will tell them to remove their hands before I start to scream. It's a total violation.

I will always remember when my mum saw my friend for the first time in ages, and knew that my friend was pregnant. Straight hand to the stomach action. I almost yelled at her. I don't know how I would cope if I ever fall pregnant. I like my personal space thankyouverymuch.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Unless you see a baby actually emerging from a woman's body, it's ALWAYS a bad idea to ask that.

[reformedwaitress]

Oh good lord I used to hate that and those stupid questions. It was pretty obvious I was pregnant, but is it really anyone else's business? And don't even THINK about touching me unless you want to get a death glare. My "personal bubble" got much bigger when I was pregnant. My friends and family didn't get to touch my stomach, I'm SURE as hell not letting some random stranger touch me!

I almost hit a woman in a store for doing that to me -- I didn't know her from Adam and she came up and started rubbing and talking to my stomach. My boyfriend at the time grabbed both my arms and then said "Ma'am, if you want to walk out of here, I suggest getting your hands OFF my girlfriend right now!"

And the lady had the nerve to humph and get rude with us!:confused:

[Boozy]

My best friend is desperate to conceive. She has a condition that makes it very unlikely, and ironically, this same condition makes her carry excess weight around her middle. I'd want to punch someone if they ever walked up to her and asked if she was pregnant. It would be so heartbreaking for her.

[TheRoo]

I can't imagine violating anyone's personal space like that. One of my friends wives was pregnant last year, and I was sitting next to her at a restaurant. She said that the baby was kicking, and she grabbed my hand and put it on her stomach. Even though she did it, it really weirded me out, although my friend didn't seem surprised that some guy had his hand on his wife's stomach.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Back when I was going thru compulsive eating disorder and was carrying a lot of weight, I once had a woman tutting at me. Being very snappy and defensive at the time, due to school bullying, I turned and said, "What's your problem?" She replied, "It's horrible to see schoolgirls pregnant." I replied, "For your information, I'm a virgin. I'm just fat." She went bright red and walked away. And then, I went home and stuffed my face. :(

[Misanthropical]

Lace Neil Singer, I was getting that from old ladies when I was pregnant with my oldest.

I was 22 years old and married, but that didn't stop old ladies from making total asses out of themselves.

[Bliss]

Unless you see a baby actually emerging from a woman's body, it's ALWAYS a bad idea to ask that.

And if you see a baby emerging from a woman's body it's bloody stupid to ask it.

[hawkchick11]

I had a few women ask me if I was pregnant before I even knew I was... that was odd. I'm not a very big person, and I didn't get very big when I was pregnant.. really, I didn't even show much until I was 7 months along.

I never had someone put their hand on my stomach, I would have killed them if they had. During my sister's pregnancy, we were at Target and she had not one but two old ladies put their hands on her stomach. She kind of laughed off the first one but she got really bitchy with the second one.

[CrazedClerk]

I for the most part think I'm pretty decent at distinguishing a pregnancy bump from simple body mass, but I know sometimes it just ain't that easy.

A couple of times when pregnant customers come into the store, I've casually asked "when's the baby due?" but that's the only question I ask on the matter and I never, EVER touch them! Unlike others, I DO have common sense.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

And I used to complain about total strangers feeling up my hair...

After the gropefest at my Gramma Bond's funeral, I cut my hair short. *shivers*

[Boozy]

This one's for you, Shironu:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/60170

Its an audio file from The Onion Radio News. Hilarious. :lol:

[MystyGlyttyr]

*touches stomach" "When is the baby due?"
"I'm not pregnant. Are you?"
"...no?"
"Good." *PUNCH*

...fortunately, no one's ever asked me that...

[F**kYouForCalling]

I have had several instances when people have asked about my "baby" and I'm not preggo.

first time at 15 yrs old:
me: *walk into the bathroom at the chinese buffet*
lady cleaning the bathroom: "aww... u have baby?"
me: "I'm sorry?"
lady: "you having baby? *makes cradle with hands*
me: "uhm... no?"
lady: "OOOOOOH, You just look like it...."
me: *walks out crying*
~~~

after my highschool graduation:
me: *washing hands in bathroom sink*
lady: *walks out of stall* "omg! That's the cutest maternity dress I've ever seen!! Where'd you get it?"
me:*looks at my friend who is now making the :eek: face and sighs* "Old Navy...." (why bother?)
~~~

when working as a cashier at the navy exchange:
me: *smiles at lady coming thru line* "Hi, how're you?"
lady: "Good good! Getting ready for Christmas, you know... how's that baby coming?" *looks at my stomach*
me: *mean look* "sorry?"
lady: "I said.... how..are.. you?"
me: "fine thanks."



There have been several more, but you get the picture...

[zzapp the witch]

When I was pregnant with my second son, I figured out how to get my licks in and be polite at the same time when people would come up and touch my belly. I was VERY obviously pregnant, no way this was just fat. Waddling, the whole bit. People would come up to me (when I was between 5 and 8 months along) and rub the belly and ask when I was due.

"What are you talking about?"
"When is the baby due?"
"Um, I'm not pregnant." (When I so so so was!)

That hand would snatch back like I had burned them and they would race away ever so quickly. My OB was the same store as I once, and while we were talking a lady came up and we had the above conversation. After, OB started laughing so hard he was crying and holding his chest. Said it was the best remedy for "Goddess Magnetism" (his phrasing for why people just HAD to touch pregnant women) he'd ever seen.

[MCSledgehammer]

"When's the baby due?"
"*sigh* Hopefully after we figure out who the father is. Hey, do you know if dogs can get humans pregnant?"
"*Looong silence, laden with meaning- some might even say a pregnant silence (sorry, couldn't resist)*"

Never been pregnant, never been mistaken for pregnant, but I've been around a lot of pregnant women, and you are NEVER ANYTHING BUT NICE. That is, if you'd like to keep all your appendages attached...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"When's the baby due?"
"*sigh* Hopefully after we figure out who the father is. Hey, do you know if dogs can get humans pregnant?"
"*Looong silence, laden with meaning- some might even say a pregnant silence (sorry, couldn't resist)*"

:spew:

I need to remember that response just in the event I'm ever acosted in such a manner.:angel:

[NotSoInnocent]

"When's the baby due?"
"*sigh* Hopefully after we figure out who the father is. Hey, do you know if dogs can get humans pregnant?"
"*Looong silence, laden with meaning- some might even say a pregnant silence (sorry, couldn't resist)*"

:spew: :roll: OMG!!!! Thank you! Thank you soooooo much.

Never been pregnant, never been mistaken for pregnant, but I've been around a lot of pregnant women, and you are NEVER ANYTHING BUT NICE. That is, if you'd like to keep all your appendages attached...

At nearly 5 months along (and looking like I'm 7 or 8... *sigh*) I just loooooove when people some up and 1) touch me, 2) ask me about my baby like they have any right to know, 3) offer me (insert weird food craving that I've never had) just because I'm pregnant....

Honestly... people get really strange around pregnant women. Admittedly... my main squeeze admits (to everyone but me) that I can be very short-tempered. I just blame everything on hormones and retreat to the bed upon which I am supposed to be resting. Bedrest sucks.... and with 3 kids it just doesn't happen.

[Becks]

When I was at K-Mart the other day I saw a shirt with an angry Winnie the Pooh that said, "If you value your hand, you won't touch my baby."

[Estil]

And you all know what my wife says about those who "assume" things like this?

It makes an ASS out of U and ME.:D

[Seshat]

I like the 'No, I just lost the baby' (burst into tears) response.

[XCashier]

When I was at K-Mart the other day I saw a shirt with an angry Winnie the Pooh that said, "If you value your hand, you won't touch my baby."
:D Ooh, I like that! I would've worn that when I was pregnant, though I rarely got touched; I think I gave off a "touch me and die" vibe.

I once saw a button that would've made a great maternity shirt:

ANSWERS TO THE TOP THREE MOST-ASKED QUESTIONS:
1. Yes, I'm pregnant.
2. Gender doesn't matter as long as the baby's healthy.
3. My husband.

:lol:

[BitterReceptionist]

I had this happen to me at the cafe I used to work at, it didn't hurt my feelings since I tend to carry my most of my weight around my midsection.. I'm usually the one asking myself when I'm due.

M-Me!
SC- Stupid lady

M- Hi, What can I get you to drink?
SC- When you due?
M- Huh?
SC- *touches my stomach* Your baby, when you due?
M- I'm not pregnant
SC- Oh.. so you just fat then?

*******
I could NOT believe she said that.. Her friends at that table looked like they were going to die.

[Princess-Snake]

I was born with a very rare digestive disorder that made my abdomen so big, it looked like a beach ball. Thanks one of the many surgeries I've been through, my abdomen has decreased a lot. It's still a bit round, but it's not as big as it was when I was younger. I remember I was 11 years old in daycare, just eating a popscicle when a 4-year-old comes up to me and asks me when the baby was due. I cried and locked my self in the bathroom, girl got a stern lecture from one of the teachers and a time-out. I found it horrific back then, now 6 years later, I find it funny. Unfortunately, so do my best friends who constantly tease me about it and will probably continue to do so when we reach our afterlives in the Ghost Zone.:lol:

[Emrld]

At nearly 5 months along (and looking like I'm 7 or 8... *sigh*) I just loooooove when people some up and 1) touch me, 2) ask me about my baby like they have any right to know, 3) offer me (insert weird food craving that I've never had) just because I'm pregnant....

But your "baby bump" just screams out as people go walking by for love . . . . ok I admit most likely it was crossing a line - when I wanted to share more love with the baby - but I asked first.
For me when I know the person is expecting - and I know that this baby is going to be in a loving home - I can't resist . . .I wan't to give some love too.

I was about 16 years of age - and on the cusp of having an eating disorder when a little 4 year old came up and asked me when my Baby would be here. I broke down in the middle of the store (oh - I should add that I was underweight at the time - and didn't have a glimmer of the belly I have now) The Mom came waddling over and had to explain that her little boy thinks all females are having babies because she was. She felt bad - the boy felt bad - I felt bad - but come on I was a teenager . . .and had issues.

[Cia]

No one ever tried touching me when I was pregnant with my DD. Maybe I had that 'touch me and die' look on my face. Good thing because I probably would have hurt them if they did touch me.

[Bella_Vixen]

My friend, K, had her baby last Friday (little girl; absolute cutie). I didn't even ASK to touch her stomach, much less touch it without permission, until she was eight months pregnant.

[Sliceanddice]

Yeah... I don't like to be touched period... if some one tried to touch my belly... they would be on the ground...

Sorry grand-ma, see you after you get that hip replaced :wave:

[tollbaby]

I'm like that with my hair. I HATE having my hair touched (except the bf.... and I can occasionally let one of my kids touch it, but I have to psych myself up for that). I also hate having my legs or feet touched....

[blas87]

I hate being touched anywhere by strangers.........including shoulder taps/pats and head pats. Don't pat me like I'm a farking puppy. I may be "cute and adorable", but like puppies, I can bite and bark.

I'm a huge personal space bubble type person.

One of my biggest peeves is getting my rear end bumped at Wal-Mart or a similar store by a cart being pushed by some filthy toothless schmuck who is getting off on bumping my rear end.

Listen buddy, you wanna keep the few teeth you have left? I suggest you stop bumping my ass with that cart. I have no qualms about assaulting a dirtbag.

That or old people who try to elbow me to get me out of their way. I let that fly once, and that's because I was with my mother and she didn't want to make a scene.

Stop it, Ernie and Edna. You'll move heaven and earth to make sure your cart gets in my way by the freezers and will stop at nothing to block any forms of oncoming traffic.......I have no qualms about telling you to get your old asses out of my way, and keep your filthy wrinkled hands off of me. I'm younger, I'm faster, I'm first. If you want to go ahead of me, you ASK. Being old doesn't entitle you to jack shit.

[JustADude]

Heh. I must admit I've gotten in trouble with that once or twice. When it's noisy and hectic and I'm behind someone in a tight space who's likely to step back I tend to put my hand (fingertips, really) on their back as a warning. Most of the people I work with are the same way, which is how I picked up the habit, but one or two give me (and the other guys) death-glares when I forget. They don't mind when one of the girls does it, so I have a feeling they're just being homophobic. Wonder when they'll have their coming out parties?

[Just Ace]

Funny that I found this topic when i have just done what everyone (and myself) have said what they don't like.

This regular customer had come in. Now this customer is one of those people that will say hi to you outside of work and even have a chat. I feel comfortable in calling her her first name and I don't ignore her when i see her outside of work. Well when she had come in I walked over to her and started to have a chat. She is about 6 months pregnant and so I said to her "How's bubs coming along". Now as I said this i reached my hand out towards her stomach. My intention was to just sort of wave my hand near her stomach and not touch but i misjudged the distance and gently touch her bare stomach (she had on low pants and a tight short top).:eek: You should have seen my face when i made contact! I was motified that I had actually invaded her space and i think that she was a bit shocked as well cause she sort of stopped but kept talking to me. :o I couldn't get away quick enough.

The worst bit was that i was so eager to get out of there that i didn't appologise or anything so now when she comes in i just hide.:runaway:

[Starlord]

If I were a woman and a perfect stranger touched my belly, I would tell them to remove their hand before I did it, and I had a supply of plastic bags for them to carry it in if I removed it.

[Tigress]

For some reason, a lot of my older classmates thought I was pregnant when I started high school. Their only evidence was that I was wearing loose clothing and the rest of my body hadn't quite caught up with my exploding chest and hips. It didn't help that I looked like I was 18 or 19 instead of my real age of 14.

One day, some of the God's Gifts to Women in my choir class were teasing me about acting like a prude while I was "obviously" pregnant. I finally yelled at them:

"I'm FOUR-TEEN! And a virgin! I've had ONE boyfriend my entire life. What makes you think that I would be pregnant, dumbass?!"

That stopped them pretty quickly. That and when I turned someone in for grabbing my butt during a performance. I was a total bitch to these wastes of skin. The older girls loved it and egged me on when I told them off for being pigs.

[Department stores *sigh*]

i figure if no one has told me anything about a woman being pregnant i wont say 'congrats' or anything unless i see her being rushed to the hospital after her water broke.

better safe then sorry!

[Kogarashi]

One Christmas break while I was home, I had something similar happen. Funny thing is it was still six months before my now-husband even *proposed* to me, and a whole 2+ years before I became pregnant with DD.

I was standing in a store, looking at Christmas decorations for my apartment at school, when a lady I didn't recognize came up. She gave me a cheerful "Hi!" I thought that she might be someone my mom knew, since she lives in a small town, one of those everybody-knows-everybody-else places, so I said "hi" back, and the lady asked me how school was going. I said, "Fine."

Then she put out her hand and patted my very flat tummy and asked when the baby was due.

I blinked at her for a bit, then stated flatly, "I'm not pregnant."

She immediately and profusely apologized, explaining she'd confused me for someone else she knew, and beat a hasty retreat. A few minutes later, it finally hit me what had happened, and I just burst into giggles.


Dang, I still need to make that "Pregnant, not Produce" T-shirt.

[AnqeiicDemise]

I can top that one.

I was getting in my car on Sunday after doing an errand for my sister when this guy flags me down. He's got this scared/unbelievable look on his face as he approaches the car.

I roll down my window thinking A) poor guy needs a jump or b) needs directions to get out of here.

The question that slips past his lips after I ask him if I could help him with something:

"Can I touch your breasts? Please? Pretty please?"

It took all I had not to run him over with the car.

[MadMike]

About a year after my ex and I started dating, she started putting on weight. She wasn't pregnant, but apparently something thought she looked like she was.

We were doing some shopping (actually, more like she dragged me along), and when she was at the register checking out, she accidently bumped her stomach on the counter. The guy running the register told her, "Oh, be careful! You don't want to hurt the baby!"

:eek:

Neither of us had the heart to say anything. He seemed like a sweet old man, not one of the creepy ones we often vent about.

[Misanthropical]

MadMike, maybe that is why my oldest sometimes acts like he is brain damaged! I was always bumping into things with my HUGE stomach when I was pregnant with him! :lol:

[Rapscallion]

"Can I touch your breasts? Please? Pretty please?"


Part of me is saying at least he asked, but the rest of me is wishing I'd been there to leer at him and ask if I could pinch his arse.

Rapscallion

[Kogarashi]

Now see, if I'd been asked that, my response would've been a slap (or perhaps a fist to the face; whichever hit my mind first).

[AnqeiicDemise]

Part of me is saying at least he asked, but the rest of me is wishing I'd been there to leer at him and ask if I could pinch his arse.

Rapscallion

I would have held him down for you. Maybe offered some evil looking device to pinch him with too.

[XCashier]

I would have held him down for you. Maybe offered some evil looking device to pinch him with too.
:lol: "Here's the extra-large vise-grips!" :roll:

[Broomjockey]

I would have held him down for you. Maybe offered some evil looking device to pinch him with too.

Part of me is saying at least he asked, but the rest of me is wishing I'd been there to leer at him and ask if I could pinch his arse.

Rapscallion

No no no, see, what you want is that "Flugenhoygen" or whatever it's called from Eurotrip, in the Club Vandersexxx scene! Heeheehee :angel: