Luna
05-14-2007, 01:31 AM
Went to the farm on Saturday. Found out Buddy*, one of the horses fell down in the woods. He was part of a trail ride. I don't know how he fell or why. It does happen. So he was back there all day. Girls took turns driving the quad out to stay with him and bring him water b/c he couldn't get back up. He's a belgian, which is a cousin of the "budweiser" horse. I can stand on tiptoe with arms as high as they go and I could just put my fingertips on his saddle...that's how big he was.
Yes, was.
Owner of the farm called in a vet. After closing, normally we get to ride and then unsaddle and feed everyone. Then we hang and chat a bit. As soon as he decided we closed, he told us to unsaddle everyone and then he tossed everyone out. Except for the few girls who train who have been there forever. I begged one of the girls to call me with an update of what happened. I was told they were going to get ropes and help him get to his feet and slowly walk him back down to the farm.
A few hours later I was called and the firl was crying and said they had to put him down. His back leg was shattered in 3 pieces.
He was my favorite horse. He gave kisses. I never got to ride him b/c I'm too small. But I'd spend hours on slow days hugging him and brushing him. He was the best trained horse there, and such a docile sweetie. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.
The girl made me promise not to tell the other "pony walkers" a.k.a. new volunteers like me that don't do lessons or trail rides yet. Owner doesn't want people to know. We're to be told he was retired and lives on their land now back home. I don't know why.
I couldn't sleep last night. I had nightmares that I was screaming at the owners b/c they wouldn't let me say goodbye to my favorite horse. Then I woke up around 3am with the cold sweats and promptly yakked up my dinner. Dragging myself to work was fun. I didn't sleep the rest of the night. Everytime I managed to drift off, I dreamt of hugging him again and him falling, and then I'd wake up crying.
With all the shit going on in my life, the farm was like a solace for me. I can't explain the peace and love I receive - the connection with the animals and the earth I get is...it's just amazing. It's a balm for my soul. I don't know how I'm sposed to pretend that I don't know what happened next Saturday when I go back. I'm probably going to cry again.
*I feel safe to post it here as long as I don't post his name or the name of the farm - can't be googled then. Here's his picture. Thanks for letting me vent guys.
Yes, was.
Owner of the farm called in a vet. After closing, normally we get to ride and then unsaddle and feed everyone. Then we hang and chat a bit. As soon as he decided we closed, he told us to unsaddle everyone and then he tossed everyone out. Except for the few girls who train who have been there forever. I begged one of the girls to call me with an update of what happened. I was told they were going to get ropes and help him get to his feet and slowly walk him back down to the farm.
A few hours later I was called and the firl was crying and said they had to put him down. His back leg was shattered in 3 pieces.
He was my favorite horse. He gave kisses. I never got to ride him b/c I'm too small. But I'd spend hours on slow days hugging him and brushing him. He was the best trained horse there, and such a docile sweetie. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.
The girl made me promise not to tell the other "pony walkers" a.k.a. new volunteers like me that don't do lessons or trail rides yet. Owner doesn't want people to know. We're to be told he was retired and lives on their land now back home. I don't know why.
I couldn't sleep last night. I had nightmares that I was screaming at the owners b/c they wouldn't let me say goodbye to my favorite horse. Then I woke up around 3am with the cold sweats and promptly yakked up my dinner. Dragging myself to work was fun. I didn't sleep the rest of the night. Everytime I managed to drift off, I dreamt of hugging him again and him falling, and then I'd wake up crying.
With all the shit going on in my life, the farm was like a solace for me. I can't explain the peace and love I receive - the connection with the animals and the earth I get is...it's just amazing. It's a balm for my soul. I don't know how I'm sposed to pretend that I don't know what happened next Saturday when I go back. I'm probably going to cry again.
*I feel safe to post it here as long as I don't post his name or the name of the farm - can't be googled then. Here's his picture. Thanks for letting me vent guys.