Bullying--Has it ever happened to you?

[Severen13]

Yup, I was the kid that everyone picked on. And yes, I'm still bitter about it.

I first started to notice it around the 5th grade, when another girl I was friendly with (another outcast like me, so we got along just fine) told me that the other girls made fun of me behind my back for being so quiet and shy. Um, is that really a *bad* thing? Then there was the boy in the same class who liked to call me a 'dog', out loud, so everyone could hear it. Lovely.

In 6th grade and junior high there was "J", who tried to beat me up once and managed to punch me in the stomach. Later on she passed out Valentines on Valentines Day, and guess who didn't get one? I know it was stupid to be mad about that, but it was the principle of the thing. Once I was drawing a picture for a project and J walked by and said "That's ugly." I shot back with "Yeah, just like you, right?" J answered with," I wouldn't talk....Gawd..." Nice. What an evil witch. Along with J there was "L", who constantly made fun of the way I dressed and wouldn't allow me to look at her pictures of Jack Wagner in concert. Another charming little witch.

In high school there were four boys who had it out for me and my life a living hell. I was constantly verbally harassed, teased, bullyed, and sexually harassed by these clowns. They were convinced that I was on drugs and nicknamed me "Weed". It didn't stop until I graduated and got out of there.

The thing is, I never knew what I did wrong. I never did anything to those people. Of course, I got the old "Just ignore it and they won't bother you." "Kids will be kids" Blah, blah, blah. When you have to go through that crap five days a week, 6-7 hours a day for years, it gets hard to ignore.

To this day I have trust issues. I keep to myself, am extraordinarily introverted, and have few friends. I have to take antidepressants to control my mood swings. I have nothing to do with any kind of class reunions. Those people wouldn't give me the time of day back then, and they probably won't now. I can only hope that someone has hurt them as much as they hurt me.

[blas]

I was never really physically assaulted or anything, but I went through years of torment and verbal abuse and sexual harrassment in middle and high school.

I was the Paris Hilton of all my schools. Supposedly I had sex with everything that had a dick. Supposedly. Supposedly I had breast implants and worked as a stripper at night.

I moved in 2003 to a new school and it started all over again. The dumb hicks referred to me as "tig bitties", a cute way of saying big titties, so that the teachers wouldn't understand. No one ever did anything about it. It was sad. Very very sad.

And people wonder why I still refuse to talk to most people from high school or why I still hate them. They are STILL fake to this day. I seen a few at the gas station and the factory and they act like they are so interested in what I've been up to.

It's so funny, when they start rambling about college and whatnot, I usually say "I still hate you and really don't care".

I can't wait to see what they will all look like in 5 years, or 10 years.

I don't advocate school shootings, but people are really dense when they wonder why Columbine happened. No, it wasn't Marilyn Manson or video games. Of course the PTA and all the soccer moms will shift the blame on heavy metal singers and video games, because they are so blind and dense that they don't realize their own evil jock/prep spawn and their kids' hatred of anyone else who is different is what causes shit like this. Their kids teasing and tormenting "outcasts". These kids have to go to school and see each other every day. Those popular brats live off of making outcasts miserable. Push someone close enough to the edge and they WILL snap.

Yes, there are many better ways of dealing than shooting up a school, but why do you think kids like that went to such desperate measures? Who was going to help them and stop the bullying and teasing and harrassment? My point exactly.

[NightAngel]

I was harassed so badly that I simply quit school when I was 15. Actually, my Mother pulled me because I wasn't old enough to drop out. I guess she figured she had to choose between me not going to school and me commiting suicide- fortunately she chose the right path.

I'm no worse for wear for quitting and had an average of a 3.8 GPA in college.

Being removed from that Hell was the best thing that ever happened to me.

[blas]

NightAngel, how did you finish school? Did you home school or go get your GED a few years later?

I begged the guidance counselor to go to alternative school. Yes, it was the school for "bad" kids and pregnant teens, but I wanted away from public schools and all the jocks and preps. I got along great with all the "bad" kids, we were all in the same boat. But since I wasn't lacking in credits and was due to graduate in perfect time, they wouldn't let me.

Home schooling wasn't an option.

I'm proud that I survived it, but I'd never do it again. And I would never put a child through such trauma.

[Greenday]

I don't advocate school shootings, but people are really dense when they wonder why Columbine happened. No, it wasn't Marilyn Manson or video games. Of course the PTA and all the soccer moms will shift the blame on heavy metal singers and video games, because they are so blind and dense that they don't realize their own evil jock/prep spawn and their kids' hatred of anyone else who is different is what causes shit like this. Their kids teasing and tormenting "outcasts". These kids have to go to school and see each other every day. Those popular brats live off of making outcasts miserable. Push someone close enough to the edge and they WILL snap.

Yes, there are many better ways of dealing than shooting up a school, but why do you think kids like that went to such desperate measures? Who was going to help them and stop the bullying and teasing and harrassment? My point exactly.

Exactly! I don't agree with what they did, but even though the obvious harassment and torture was going on, no one did a damn thing about it. The whole "ignore it and they will stop" thing is the biggest load of crap. Problems don't go away until you do something about it. It wasn't until I threatened to beat the crap out of certain kids that it stopped. And of course I never had done anything to these kids. Just because I was quiet and had a conscious, apparently that was a good enough reason. In middle school, when I finally broke down because of it, I talked to my principal about it. He said to give them a warning if they started talking cap, and if they kept going, to let them have it and he'd take care of me. What a great guy. Shame he's retiring.

[NightAngel]

When I first left school I got a job waitressing at a truck stop. My Mom told me that I had left public school and had entered the University of Hard Knocks. I actually enjoyed working much more than I enjoyed school. It wasn't long before I got a job at a local cafe and was the manager there by the time I turned 16.
At that time I couldn't stand the thought of anything to do with school. After a couple of years I got my GED and went to college.

Nowadays my Mother says that I graduated the Universtiy of Hard Knocks with a Ph.D. :D

[Phoenix79]

I was made fun of through elementary, middle, and high school. Fortunatley I stood up for myself in a major way my Freshman year of high school and it stopped after that.

Thankfully my parents always taught me that there are just some people out there who can't feel good about themselves unless they bring others down. They also taught me that what other people think of me isn't nearly as important as how I feel about myself, and I'm happy with me! :)

My ten year high school reunion is this September, and I'm pretty sure I'm not interested in going at all. I'm happy with my life, and anyone that I was friends with in high school and cared about are still my friends now.

I'll share just one story of when I was made fun of that still sticks out in my mind - I was humiliated. I was in sixth grade, and had just gotten on the bus one morning when this really mean girl literally dumped an entire bottle of perfume on my as I walked by her. The rest of the ride to school, I endured constant comments from every single student on that bus like "She's stinky!" "Four-eyes-fat-girl smells funny!" "Don't you ever take a bath, stinky?" - you get the idea. By the time we got to school, I was in tears. The bus driver did nothing, but my teacher saw how upset I was and sent me to the counselor. The counselor helped me wash off some of the perfume, and after I told her what happened they let me go home for the day. I don't remember much else after that, but I still remember how embarrassed I was that day. I never did anything to that girl - she was just one of the popular kids that liked to pick on anyone that wasn't just like her.

So there's my story! :-) Bottom line is - I don't care what other people think about me anymore. As long as I'm happy with myself, all is right with the world!

What is it about being a little overweight and getting made fun of? Why in the world does it autmatically make you smell funny if you're not the perfect weight? Why is it that if I wear glasses I'm a nerd? I asked myself those questions and much more when I was younger, and now I just feel sorry for people that have to cut others down in order to make themselves feel big.

Phoenix

[blas]

I never understood why wearing makeup and dying my hair made me such a "freak". Just because I actually showered unlike most kids at my school and had better outfits to wear than pajamas and ratty Kurt Cobain plaid shirts everyday, that made me a "freak".

They were just jealous. None of them could ever and will never look as good as me. Naturally, their best defense mechanism was teasing and tormenting, starting rumors, and whatnot. Stupid girls.

As for the boys.....no explanation needed.

[Pedersen]

Have I ever been bullied? Wow, did you ever pick a question I could write pages on. My other sagas would be short stories in comparison. Yeah, I was bullied. I don't have a lot of time right now, but here's my story: http://www.ravendays.org/words/pedersen.html

The site: Raven Days, at http://www.ravendays.org/

I've mostly gotten over it (wrote that story down about 6 years ago now). Have to do some work, so will tell you how I did it later tonight.

[Kiwi]

My worst bullying has actually been in the workplace. The insane bitch at the gallery was the worst bully I have ever seen..... my offical boss was a very close second. I have never worked in such an atmosphere of fear where you had to whisper and tiptoe around all day long. The bullied employees who had been there for longer than me had built up so much hate and venom I was astounded.

My boss unbelievably thought that how the gallery was run was completely normal! She said I had better get used to it and thats was just how business was....

Ironic that when the HR consultant they brought in filed a harrasment case against the two bullies, he was suddenly "fired".

I got teased a little in school, but I could hold my own and gave it back just as bad until the bullies realised it wasnt worth it. It helped that I had a very popular older brother who made one of the few stupid idiots who teased me we his pants while the other bullies where made to watch. He still cant look me in the eye to this day.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ya'll with like this (yes, it's relevent.)

Snider Todd
Ballad Of The Kingsmen

The Kingsmen came together in a garage,
They could hardly even play
But they practiced night
And day pretty soon they got to where they could really play that song Louie,
Louie
So, they saved up all the money from the shows,
Went in to one of them studios and gave their version of the song a try

Now, I don't know the words to that song Louie,
Louie and I'm pretty sure the singer for the
Kingsmen didn't know ‘em either,
If he did know ‘em he didn't get ‘em right on the record
Cause on the record they sound jumbled in his jaw? It says,
Me think of me girl oh so constantly
Ahmayaaah makaaaah aahh ooohoooh aaaaah
Well, that last part scared everybody from the PTA to the FBI
You see, the kids had been going kind of crazy lately
And it seemed like nobody could figure out why,
So they decided to form a coalition,
Launch an investigation, you know for the children, they at least had to try
To figure out the words to Louie, Louie


Chorus
It's the feel good hit of this endless summer
It gets these kids out of control
Singin along to that star spangled bummer,
Hail, hail rock and roll

Marilyn Manson’s real name isn't even Marilyn Manson,
He's a skinny public high school Kid from Florida,
Not some monster from out of this world and like of a lot other skinny long hair public
High school kids he was sick of getting
Beaten up by the pulling guard all week only to go out on the weekend,
And watch the Quarterback get all the girls so,
He formed a band man
Now' he gets all the girls,
A few years later a couple of latchkey kids go tragically
Mad and everybody's standing around the television store at the mall trying to figure out what went wrong,
This guy says,
You think the life of a kid going to high school could've gotten so bad this other guy says nah,
It's just the words to one of them goddamn Marilyn Manson songs,
You know the one

Chorus

You know, every ten years or so our country and some other little country,
We start firing all of our newest weapons
At each other for some reason or another, right or wrong,
Like it or not, it happens, and when it happens
People get shot and when people get shot,
They show it on tv a lot every night at six o clock
And you don't even have to be eighteen to see it you don't even have to be in first grade,
First grade where they teach the kid pride
They tell him he'll need to thrive,
In a world where only the strong will survive,
So he's taught the art of more
To compare to and to keep score Monday thru Friday while
He stares at the floor til' Sunday they make him go to
School once more only this time they make him wear a suit and a tie
And listen to some guy who claims to know Where people go
When they die tell him that only the meek are gonna inherit the earth Well shit,
By this time the kid doesn't know what anything
Is worth, now brothers and sisters I am only one guy
And I don't even know the words to that song Louie,
Louie but I can tell you right now without batting an eye
That the next time some latchkey kid goes wrong
It aint gonna be cause that Eminem gets to say the word Fag in his song
And I'm not trying to preach to ya either,
I'm just trying to sing to ya too, you know string a few words together

Hey kids...
Lets get it on,
Lets get it on

[Caveat Emptor]

I was picked on throughout my schooling, mainly by the "hoods." I think it was because I was shy and bookish, and they saw me as a target because their "home lives were unsatisfying" (to quote Ally Sheedy in "The Breakfast Club.") I wasn't UNpopular nor was I super popular. I was generally liked by all of my classmates, those others were few in number and rarely from my class. I was once punched in the arm by someone I only knew by name in another class in high school - I mean, WTF? One of the former "bullies" actually signed my yearbook when I was a Soph and said "you were pretty cool in dealing with all the s--t we gave you." :rolleyes: I began to be OK and it began to dissipate after I joined my church youth group in jr high, where I became more confident with myself.

[ArenaBoy]

Ugh, I hated public school. I was constantly picked on because I was the guy who didn't like American football and ran and had different views on things. A lot of guys hated the fact that I was friends with their girlfriends and always gave me crap about it. I had very few friends at the time and I always wanted to drop out but my mom said no. On the last day of school I ran out of the school screaming freedom but not before giving the building the bird when I drove off. I live in another town now away from these idiots and the day my 10 year reunion invite finds me I'm setting it on fire. I'll have better things to do when that rolls around.

[protege]

Yep, I took *lots* of shit from people over the years, so I do know why school shooting happen. Like most of you, I got the "it's not that bad" crap from my parents...who I will probably never forgive for it.

One of them got what was coming though. This asshole, and I'm being nice, thought it would be funny to push me down some stairs :eek: He tried, but I caught the railing. Turns out that a friend of mine saw it. Keep in mind that he was a rather large football player, and I'd known him since we were little, his sister was in my class, etc. Let's just say that he was *not* amused...and later threatened to kick his ass if he didn't leave me alone. From then on, he did leave me alone. As if that wasn't enough, turns out I knew the guy's aunt as well...who called him a pussy! Even *she* couldn't stand him...and said if he tried that crap again, simply get in his face, and he'll back off.

School was not a happy time for me. To say that it sucked ass would be putting it nicely. 9th and 10th grade weren't that bad compared with 11th. By then, I was tired of it, and was planning to drop out. Around this time, I'd been diagnosed with depression (contrary to what's claimed, it does *not* go away, folks) and my parents *finally* knew what was going on--at one point my mother actually said that she didn't care about my grades. As long as I finished school, that was all that mattered. As if that wasn't enough, I took off the last 2 weeks of my junior year--finals were over, and I'd had enough. Fuck it :devil:

Senior year wasn't much different. Again, it sucked ass. This time, I got picked on constantly on the bus. At one point, I actually had people throwing stuff at/on me. Rather than deal with that, I just walked home--2 miles isn't all that far, or have my father pick me up. It was either that, or I said I wouldn't go at all. Highlights of that year included telling my accounting teacher to go fuck herself and literally laying rubber out of the parking lot after graduation :devil: Why did I tell her that? Well, I was in a car accident 2 days prior, and she wouldn't let me make up the work--I threw the test at her, and walked out of class...and hid in the guidance office. After the stupid graduation ceremony was over, I got the hell out, and haven't been back since!

At the reunion though, things were slightly different. No more namecalling, no more stupid pranks, etc. And yes, karma was a bitch to those who picked on me--quite a few of them are stuck in dead-end jobs, or bankruptcy. Sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh on the inside :lol:

Too bad that most of my true friends weren't there--most of them stayed away since we seemed to get the same treatment.

Even though it was so long ago, I've learned not to trust people. If I do, it takes a *long* time--getting crapped on most of your life will do that. I apologise for that, but I have to protect my own interests. I keep to myself, and yes, I'd rather live secluded out in the country.

[XCashier]

Yeah, I was bullied. I posted my story here: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showpost.php?p=71505&postcount=20

I still don't understand why people bully. If your life is so pathetic that you have to abuse someone else to feel better, go get professional help. :mad:

[Lace Neil Singer]

All the time at secondary school. Now I know that I have Aspergers, it's obvious why I found it so hard to communicate with other kids, but the popular clique were just bitches anyway so they probably would have singled me out regardless cuz of the following things about me that they didn't like:

1. I wore glasses.
2. I was clever.
3. I liked Marilyn Manson.

Later, I'd gained a lot of weight due to developing compulsive eating disorder due to the stress, and I also self harmed. The bullying was at first verbal with threats to "get me" after class; so, I often cut classes just to escape the bullies. In 3rd year, the second in command in the popular clique came up to me and scratched my face; that was when I completely lost my rag. I punched her hard in the face repeatedly til she fell down, then I kicked her in the stomach over and over til a teacher pulled me off. I got suspended for a week for that; she got away almost scot free; she wasn't punished at all, but seeing as she'd just been beaten up she at least got that.

After that, it was just verbal, often just a drip drip of poisonous comments. Cuz I'd found out that hitting back was the only thing that worked, I often hit the bullies and eventually it ended up that I was being taught alone in the deputy head's office and eating lunch there, too. It was like I was the one being punished when I was the victim.

Eventually, I told my parents about my self harm and eating disorder, and they pulled me out of that school and enrolled me in another. It still really aggravates me that I, the victim, was forced to leave the school when the bullies got to stay and basically got away with making my life hell. The teachers had a go at me, and punished me, for standing up for myself; they just told me to ignore them. As if that ever works. :rolleyes:

[ArenaBoy]

It still really aggravates me that I, the victim, was forced to leave the school when the bullies got to stay and basically got away with making my life hell. The teachers had a go at me, and punished me, for standing up for myself; they just told me to ignore them. As if that ever works. :rolleyes:

The philosophy of don't fight back is taken by these schools very seriously. In my opinion public schools main focus is to make people into obedient members of society, they don't want someone who has their own thoughts and isn't afraid to speak up. I understand what you went through Lace, I knocked the crap out of a football player because of him harassing me and trying to punch me. I got suspended for it even after I told the administration all of his little crimes. I always think it's bullshit when administrators say that they treat all students equally. Yeah right, half the football team gets caught drinking and none of them get in trouble.

This is also why I want all teachers and administrators to read Carrie so they can understand that music isn't the cause but bullies.

Sorry for the rant, but what a lot of us went through in high school was bad because of some dumb fucks. I got sick and tired of my parents telling me to "put up with it."

[Chanlin]

I had my fair share of bullying and name calling, pranks, and other stupid shit that I had to take through most of my school life. Fourtunately both of my parents worked in the school district so i never had to take the bus to school. That was really my only saving grace. I took things from being mocked, to beat up, to getting things poured/dumped/sprayed on me or on my things. I even one time had somone dump rotten eggs in my book bag.

Finally round about the end of 8th grade working on toward my freshman year in High School I'd decided I had enough and started fighting back in my own way. It started with learning to be more aware of my surroundings. The first was when one of the bullies went to spray paint in my hair. I heard him trying to sneak up on me in the gym and managed to slap the can out of his hand before he could spray me. Another was during lunch. One bully in particular loved to steal my food from me all the time. So finally is spiked my drink with a laxative and just let him take it with a knowing gring. Strangely he stopped taking my food after that. The final straw was during ROTC my freshman year. We had an up stairs gymnasium area that we used for drill practice. On the way up one particular bully found it fun to kick the back of my knees and try to make me fall. I finally did fall on purpose one time.... on him. It took two or three more times of this and him nearly breaking his arm on one tumble to finally give up.

On one hand i am very bitter about the people who did all of these things to me. It was cruel and pointless and I never did and never will understand to this day why i was singled out. On the other hand if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't change a thing. While it was horrible and I lived some days in fear of going to school, putting up with all of that shit made me who I am today and I'm happy with who I am now.

On that note I would say I have to agree with the sentiment that people are completely naieve and blind if they can't realize why such incidents as Columbine happen. I mean seriously, as far as I'm concerned columbine was tame to some of the things I dreamed of doing to the assholes. The one thing that kept me sane was one of my favorite teachers to this day who said to me "It may be bad, but just remember in ten years from now you will get the last laugh." I never fully understood exactly what he meant but looking back I'm pretty sure half of those asshats won't ammount to anything. Hell they probably became some of those types we love to rant about on this forum.

[FuzzyKitten99]

I was bullied, off and on during my whole school life. I wasn't really fat, but I wasn't trim either. I was just sort of pudgy. But I was always called fat. Then there were the taunts (esp in middle school) about my clothes because my family couldn't afford Girbauds ($50-75 each pair back then!) and Adidas shoes. I was mostly tormented by the girls, and a few guys that had always tormented me through elementary school.

In middle school, I actually filed a sexual harassment case against one kid that decided it would be incredibly funny to call me "Gonorrhea Lea" (my first name is Lea, but pronounced like Leah)... it made others laugh, then they started coming up with their own STD mockery names for me. I have no idea why, other than the fact we were learning about all these during health class. But when I had my counselor write up the paperwork for the kid and word got around, and he ended up suspended for a month, the STD jokes stopped, but that didn't stop them from saying other things, although it did lessen.

It was not until I saw the movie 'Clerks' when it first came out. Randall's whole attitude with the lady and the whole line "There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?" and a few other lines, were my inspiration. 99% of the kids in my school had never heard of the movie, so I ended up using these and came up with some of my own. I felt empowered and started really coming up with some funny (albeit insulting) stuff that even a couple teachers overheard and had to stifle laughs. I even wrote to Kevin Smith a couple years later, closer to graduation (i graduated in 1999) thanking him for making that movie and for the writing, because it helped me stand up for myself in a totally unconventional way.

High school was a bit different, since I found a group of kids that I was accepted in. I was definitely part of the freaks and geeks group (who were my true friends), and I was still mocked, but severely less than before. I had lost some weight and trimmed down because I grew several inches in 18 months, so I wasn't chubby anymore, and I started getting asked out by guys who weren't the freaks and geeks.

Ironically, all they wanted was to see how far they could get with me. I ended up dating and getting engaged to one of the 'geeks' instead, by senior year. We actually got married in 2002, and now have two beautiful boys. Many of the 'good looking girls' from school who teased me, have either gained weight, are still single and getting despirate (we're all pushing 30 now), or have been divorced and let their looks go to hell.

I actually have no issue going to a reunion, because sometimes people change for the better. I am now really good friends with a girl who was one who tormented me in high school, but I tormented her right back. We reconnected at our HS 5yr reunion and found we had a lot in common, and now we are really good friends and have fun telling people the little backstory to our friendship. We just grew up, really.

[CSR Kim]

I guess I got lucky, unless the really bad memories I've somehow blocked out. While I do remember being teased occasionally in elementary/middle/high school, I don't know if I was ever bullied. I was shy, overweight, and wore glasses and did not completely conform to whatever the "current fashion trends" might've been at the time...so in some ways, I guess I was a natural target.

I was never beat up or otherwise physically harassed, but the abuse I did endure from time to time from my peers was mostly verbal (which sometimes is even worse). I remember these two girls I rode the bus with. Even in middle school, they were the stereotypical snobs. I don't really remember specific incidents, but I know when I waited at the bus stop with them, I'd do everything I could to make them ignore me, because they liked to make snide comments about anything. I do remember one time when I got sick to my stomach all of a sudden while waiting for the bus and ended up puking in the grass right in front of these girls. They had NO sympathy whatsoever, and laughed and teased me about getting sick even as I turned around to walk home, feeling miserable.

In highschool, it wasn't so bad. We didn't really have your traditional "bullies". There were of course your smart ass guys and stuck up bitchy girls, but it wasn't too bad. I remember a couple of jerks teasing me once because I didn't have a boyfriend (which of course seemed so important to me at the time, so their teasing really upset me...looking back, I can laugh at how superficial and unimportant a thing that was).

Having a relatively large group of friends helped, and I can honestly say that I look back on high school as a more-or-less enjoyable experience. I didn't go to my 5 year reunion, however, because I didn't want to pretend to be friends with people that I never spoke to/hung out with in the first place.

[Bright_Star]

I was bullied BIG TIME all through High School. Now, what gets me upset is when I've gone to my High School reunions & run into people who used to bully me acting all nicey nicey & get all shocked when I give them the cold shoulder.
I figure it this way:
Just because you're "all grown up" now doesn't mean that I've forgotten how you used to treat me in school. I'm not saying that I hold grudges but when you run into people who were mean to you then it gets difficult to forget all the pain they caused you. 20 plus years later doesn't make it less painfull.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was never bullied physically, but I was called Alien for most of my elementary school years (my name is close). I wasn't one of the "popular" kids but I had my little group of girlfriends, until 7th grade. Then half my friends were gone to other schools, and others I didn't see anymore during the day since the classes were divided into different sections so I didn't have any classes with them. And one of my best friends, who I did have classes with, and I got into a fight about some insignificant thing, and I thought we made up but then she decided she hated me and stopped speaking to me and started spreading rumors about me. So I drew into myself and hardly talked to anyone, and decided that nobody liked me. I still carry some of that to this day....but I am not nearly as shy as I used to be (though I still take a while to warm up to people and I'm not so good with small talk).

[Pedersen]

As promised, I'm posting some of what happened with me. I swear, I will try to keep it short. The number of memories burbling back up right now is amazing.

How did I mostly get past what happened for me? To make a long story as short as I can, I had to get past it. I was moving to NJ to be with the woman who is now my wife. I knew who and what I was: A bitter, cynical person who hated most of humanity, and would take pure joy in the idea that most of my graduating class died. In short, a person that I really did not like.

It was March, 2002, and for various reasons I could not even attempt to get the treatment that I would need to become a person I did like. And I needed to complete this process within a few months. My move occurred early July, 2002. I remembered stumbling across the Raven Days site around the time of the Columbine shootings. I joined their mailing list, hoping they would have a magic cure.

Of course, they didn't. Discussion on the list turned to Babylon 5 (yes, this is relevant), and discussions of the Vorlons and the Shadows, and their infamous questions: Who are you? What do you want? And I realized something very important about me: I had no idea who I was, or what I really wanted.

The next month or so was spent with me asking these questions of myself every day, for an hour or more, trying to learn about me. Finally, I found my answers. I knew who I was, what I wanted, and realized that who I thought I was before was wrong. I found a freedom then that mere words can not describe.

I have done things in my life that I am not proud of. Things for which I could have (and should have) gone to jail, but did not. So I built my own prison out of self-loathing. The person who needed to be punished no longer existed. I could stop hating myself. For 20 years, I had been punishing myself. Finally, I forgave me.

In forgiving myself, I found I could forgive others. Though I might not have been able to say it to them, I did say it out loud: I forgive you, (insert name here).

I found my own peace, finally. Made myself a better person because I let go of the hatred that had poisoned me. I do not think I would be married today if I had not done that.

So, obvious questions, asked and answered:
Will I ever go to a class reunion? I doubt it. There's only one person I would go to see, and that would be to apologize to him. He had a period where he was the class target, and I jumped in on the bandwagon. Ira Poladian, if you're out there, I'm sorry. I wouldn't do it now, but I did then. Everybody else? I managed to forgive. Forgetting is much more difficult, and I really don't want to dredge up those memories.

Am I completely healed? No. Absolutely not. But I am better. I rather like who I am, in fact.

Who am I? This post is long enough, don't you think? Plus, it would sound a lot like I'm bragging, and I don't want to do that.

What do I want? The same thing I wanted then: To be with the woman I am now married to. I love her dearly, and can not imagine life without her. Anytime I have any doubts about what I am doing, I just ask myself what I want, and listen to my answer. If what I am doing doesn't help that, then why would I do it?

So, that's the "How I got over it" story. If you all want the "Extra details that were left out of the Raven Days" story, I'll post it. But you've seen my epics already, and I've promised one more still, so you might think twice about asking :)

[BrassCowboy]

the only time i was ever bullied was when i played football for the school, but i can understand that what happened there was just simple hazing that actually made me a better player (i still sucked though).

funny enough, in high school, i was friends with at least 2-3 people in every clique, expect maybe preps. so, nobody would bother me. who would dare pick on someone who eats lunch with the goths on monday and then the jocks on tuesday, ect.? i had connections all over and it was goooood.:lol:

[justZu]

I was bullied off and on throughout school from about 4th grade to ninth grade. Up until 8th grade, I was bullied by the "in" girls at the private school I went to. Starting in 9th grade many of us, myself included, transferred to public school, where(to my everlasting satisfaction) some of those same "in" girls suddenly learned what it was like to be a bullied nobody.
Karma, especially when you get to observe it firsthand, is an awesome thing. :devil:

Only one person really picked on me when I started public school, a boy who was really horrible, he just would not leave me alone. I found out much later that his dad beat him all the time. I guess that explains his behavior, but it didn't matter much when I was a humiliated 14 year old.

[protege]

I had a *great* comeback to a snotty girl at my reunion. I'd known her for years, and she was always one of those "genius" types, who had to show off. For the most part, I ignored her...until someone tried to "introduce" me to her. Uh, didn't we meet already, 20 years ago, but whatever. She said something along the lines of "well, I already talked to *you*" and then walked away. Being the bastard I am, I couldn't resist saying "well, I see *you* haven't changed, you're still a bitch!" The entire room we were in was like :eek: since *nobody* expected that. Guess I got tired of people like that pushing me around :angel:

[MadMike]

I was small for my age until a growth spurt around the age of 13, so I got picked on a lot. My parents couldn't understand. My mom also tried that "Just ignore them" crap, and my dad insisted that I must have done something to provoke them.

To my dad's credit, he eventually saw the light, and taught me how to fight back. And I did it well. Imagine the surprise on the one guy's face when this skinny kid half his size suddenly had him pinned up against the lockers. I was surprised too, in fact, and started laughing hysterically.

It's had a lasting effect. Decades later, I'm still somewhat paranoid and lacking in self-confidence, although I've made some progress in recent years. If none of that had happened, I'd probably be a completely different person.

[Mr. Rager!]

I wasn't picked on. I saw it happen a lot... and while I didn't partake in it, I really didn't do a whole lot to stop it. (A couple of times I did, but for the most part I didn't bother). I pretty much got along with everyone in my school. I had upperclassmen friends, and lower-classmen friends. I never ate lunch alone... (tried to on a few ocassions though)

[GyroKat]

Was I bullied? Oh boy...

I was always the outsider, since kindergarten. I didn't seem to understand the other kids, and I wasn't really interested in them.

At the age of 4, I taught myself to read out of boredom. I kept reading endlessly after that.

For the first year of school, I was mostly ignored, the other kids thought I was weird. I didn't want to play, I used difficult words, and I could read. I was totally alien to them.

After that, it started getting worse. Most of the girls, lead on by a pair of twin sisters who ruled the class, started bullying me. And not just talking behind my back, no. We're talking shoving me, pushing, pushing DOWN STAIRS, in front of cars, stealing my stuff, calling me names.

My mum was really sad, but the school didn't believe her, since all the girls in my class were "such angels", and I didn't have much credit since the teachers found me weird as well. Eventually, I had enough and beat up the two girls, and I was then moved to a different school.

This was a private school, with a strict "no bullying" policy. Yeah right. They didn't care either. Less violence here, more psychological torture. I retreated into my own little world, and the teachers eventually had me tested. because they thought I might be retarded.

I wasn't. I scored above and beyond the maximum limit in every test they threw at me, and they had to admit defeat. I was, in fact, more intelligent than any other kid on the school, ever. So, they thought that was great, because then I could just have an easy time and enjoy going to school, because I would obviously enjoy it when it was so easy for me, right? Right?

Hell no.

I HATED school. The homework was ridiculously easy for me, there were no special treatment for clever kids, only the slow learners, I was bored out of my mind, and I was still an outsider. I stopped doing homework, skipped school as much as possible, and my poor mum was getting grey hairs because she had no idea how to help me.

Eventually, we had to move, so I changed schools again. This was horrible. We'd moved to a bigger city, and I fit in even less than usually. I was around 12. A lot of the guys thought it was funny to steal condoms from the school nurse, fill them with water, and drop them on me from the windows when I was outside. So, I stayed in. The teachers demanded that I went outside and "got some fresh air" and told me to stop playing with water all the time, so I started locking myself in the bathrooms to get some peace.

After 3 months of that, my mum had enough, She went to the principal to tell her off for not doing ANYTHING to help me, but the principal had gotten fired that very day, had a months notice, and was in a bad mood. So she threw a fit, and told my mum that "if your stupid girl can't fit it, she needs to find another school" and kicked me out.

So, new school again. I had more or less learned to ignore the bullying, on the outside at least. I only cried when I was alone. My mum had left my stepfather because he was drinking too much, so she was now alone with me and my two smaller siblings, and she was trying to get a degree while working 2 jobs as well. I didn't want her to worry about me any more.

So, I pretended to do OK. My mum knew it wasn't great, but I tried to make it seem less bad than it was. I did my homework, got outstanding grades, and tried not to be a problem. I managed to survive the last few years, and finish school with a great result. I seemed fine, but at that point, I had still never had a single friend in my life, and I still did not understand what the hell these weird "humans" were about.

I went to a boarding school for a year, to get away from everything for a while. I met my psycho ex boyfriend, who took complete control of my life, cut me off from my entire family, and beat me up 2 years, until I finally managed to get away.

So, I came back. I had gained a LOT of weight, was severely depressed, and hated the entire human race. I was in BAD shape. Traumatized, broken down, and with a few lasting injuries that still hurt sometimes. (Like a small bone splinter inside my leg that hurts if I'm on my knees.)

I was only 18 at that time.

Then I met my fiancé. He is truly an angel. He picked me up, made me regain a lot of trust in people, and had immense patience even though I was afraid to let him touch me for a long time.

I tried to go to our equivalent of college, but I was still an outsider. I tried to stick to it, but I had a huge nervous breakdown before my finals, and had to drop out. So, that time was wasted.

I tried a different school, couldn't do it. Another place, no dice either.

So, now I'm sitting here with no real education, not being able to get a job since my body is still in bad shape, and being overweight doesn't help, and it's hard for me to lose weight because some days I can hardly walk due to my joints and bones hurting.

It really annoys me to have an immense IQ, but not being able to use my brain for anything, because the conventional education doesn't fit in with the way I think. And other people seem to have no tolerance for it. And people still don't understand why I have problems, "it should be so easy for you, you're so smart!"

Yes, I'm smart. I'm also afraid of people, wide open spaces, crowds, schools, teachers, and I'm generally quite the hermit. Not good in today's society.

Today, I have a friend. Only one, but she's a great friend. Only one I ever had as well. And I have my fiancé, and my family. I'm OK. Still frustrated, still stuck in this weird place in my life, but it's OK.

I'll be al right in the end.

[Dragonlover]

I've been bullied a few times. Nothing major, a few names, got the snot kicked out of me a couple of times, but it all stopped when I got one of the guys doing it in a headlock after he threw the book I was reading in the bin. F**k with me all you want, but do NOT touch the books.

When I have kids, I'm gonna say to them 'If it's verbal, give back as good as you get, but just be politely sarcastic. If they lay a finger on you, break their jaw and we'll worry about the repercussions afterwards.' Also, if they ever have to do a 'show and tell' type thing (we're in England, so it's not as common as in the States) I'm going to suggest they take one of my replica samurai swords in and give a very detailed account of how proper ones are forged. Of course, I'm assuming that bladed objects are going to be allowed, but perhaps a photo of the 'Weaponry Wall' me and the fiance have planned will be enough.

Dragonlover

[Sphinx]

I was bullied and picked when I was in 5th grade. I remember I was reading The Lord of the Rings, and this *girl* came and said why do you have your nose suck in a book all the time? Dont you know how to have fun??? Reading WAS fun to me because it meant I got to get away from all those stupif F***s. So all thru jr. high an high school I got called a nerd and a bookworm and teased relentlessly about it. I guess they were just jealous i was smarter than them:lol:

[protege]

I was always told...that if someone's trying to hurt me, I have the right to literally beat the crap out of them.

My father didn't care what you did to him...however, you mess with his family, or someone he cares about, and he *will* come after you. For example, my brother and his friend got jumped while playing at the school down the street. As we're coming home one night, he pointed out the kids that did it. Rather than call the cops, my father nailed the brakes, stopping less than a foot from those fools. He got out, and ripped them a new one--basically telling them that he knew who they were, and if they bothered my brother again, that he'd "fuck them up good." Never heard from them again, and they wouldn't even walk down our street.

Did it get the message across? Abso-freaking-lutely. People like that need to get put in their place, and eventually, it *will* happen when they piss off the wrong person.

That's not the only one though--after my grandmother came home from rehab after her '94 auto accident, she started getting some strange phonecalls. Usually at night, someone would call, but not say anything. However, you could hear the person breathing into the phone. Turns out, it was the guy who caused the accident--he was trying to intimidate her into dropping the lawsuit. (My family sued his ass, and eventually took literally everything to pay her bills--his house, car, truck, land, right down to his toothbrush.) That went on for a bit...until my father found out. Yes, he was furious.

He didn't threaten the guy at all--he simply called up the attorney handling her case...who sent 2 armed guards with a cease-and-desist order. Funny how the calls stopped after that :rolleyes:

[Boozy]

I wasn't picked on at all until I won this stupid county-wide math competition in grade eight.

And it wasn't the popular kids picking on the math nerd, either. It was the other math nerds. Presumably, they were jealous.

Who knew geeks could be so vicious? :lol:

My prize was a stinkin' compass and protractor set. I hate geometry to this day.

[Misanthropical]

I covered my bullying in the same thread as XCashier covered hers. However, let me tell you about the bullying of my children and what happened.

When we lived in our old neighborhood, the teenage thugs from the neighborhood would bully my children.

I went outside one day to hear these thugs threaten my oldest son (who was about 10 at the time). They were going to beat his "White ass". I walk out and tell them it's actually his "Italian ass" and if they were going to beat it, they would have to go through me first. They looked at me like I was nuts and took off.

Another day, I hear something, so I go outside, where my oldest son was waiting for his dad to come home. I find our van parked in the middle of the street and my son just standing there. Turns out, my husband pulled in just as these thugs were going to lay a beat down on my son. My husband threw the van into park and starting chasing these thugs down the street screaming "YOU WANT TO BEAT SOMEONE? COME ON! I'LL TAKE YOU!" They were all running away from the crazy Italian dude chasing them down.

After that, the thugs left my son alone, because rumor in the neighborhood had it that me and my husband were both insane. :lol:
My husband is a laid back type person, UNLESS you mess with me and/or our children. If you do, then watch out, because someone is going to pay for it.

[AFpheonix]

I was never really physically assaulted, except for one idiot boy who threatened to stick a piece of broken glass in me somewhere ( I laughed at him).
I was at the bottom of the pecking order throughout k-12.
It did effect me, but what I took away from it was how to laugh at people when they try to hurt me. That's probably why when other techs get the nasty people, they sic me on them, because I don't let it get to me personally. I refuse to let it get to me. Those people are busy showing to the world how small and infantile they are, and I'm fine with being their mirror, because I know that their words and attitudes will catch up to them and bite them in the ass someday. Perhaps same day, in that they get to go somewhere else to get their meds.

I will say that I'm not at all a social butterfly, and I really have to work hard to put myself out in groups.

[Tigress]

Hells yes, I was bullied. From 3rd grade until I graduated.

3rd - 5th grade - I was deemed "gay." And since this was right when AIDS and HIV first came out and was still though of as a "gay disease", that also meant I had AIDS. None of the kids wanted to touch me, except when it came time to beat me up. This motivated me to find out more about the disease to be able to explain why it was impossible for me to get it and I became the world's only 8-year-old expert.

I was also called a thief for using a pencil that I found on the floor that turned out to belong to someone. And also "Japanese eyes" because my eyes are slightly slanted. (Ironically, I'm a huge otaku now.) When I moved, one of the counselors and my cooler teachers felt really bad about being unable to do much about the bullying, so they threw a going-away party for me and chipped in to give me cake and a teddy bear. I still have the teddy bear.

5th - 6th grade - One of the smallest in class and the cousin of a girl the preps hated. And because I wasn't into boys, that automatically branded me as a lesbian. It was then I learned that people I thought were my friends were not about playing politics in school. And the "academically gifted" class is a freaking joke.

7th - 8th grade - I got the nickname "cat-girl" or "cat-woman" because I have an uncanny ability to attract the little beasties. Before long, I had anywhere between 5 - 10 cats hanging out around my house. Then the rumor spread that I ate them. Never mind that no one in school had ever seen me eat any animal flesh of any kind. I also got beaten up twice by 9th graders. My cousin got to one of them and the vice principal got to another. This was also the time that the preps read a suicide note I had written in front of the entire class. I met my best friend and we were rumored to be lovers. But she was a true friend and backed me up whenever I got picked on.

9th - 12th grade - I was still a lesbian, still ate cats, and... oh yeah, I was the Virgin Tigress (IOW, pregnant) because I blossomed over the summer and preferred loose clothing. I got involved in choir, where kids would try to kick me off the risers... until I got angry enough to kick back and bruise one girl's legs. (My teacher "didn't see anything.") Made some friends, but the kicker (hah-hah! Unintended pun!) was when I started tae kwon do in 9th grade. I had the implied threat of violence backing me up and just not caring about the people I was forced to share my learning space with. I also dated an emotionally abusive asshole until I broke up with him after my freshman year of college.

Ten years later, I have my own niche of friends from all over the globe. I'm into cosplay, anime, video games. I have a wonderful husband, a fairly decent house and a car that runs most of the time. I'm considered a role model. My "just don't give a crap" attitude does me well in my career because my managers know they can't intimidate me.

And I'm SO NOT GOING to my high school reunion in August. There is no one in that class that I care to see again. The few that I would consider catching up with over coffee aren't going either. And one of them is in my tae kwon do class!

[powerboy]

In Elementary School:
There was this one kid, who I was walking home from the bus stop with. As soon as we turned down our street, he busted my lip open. The next day at school, he tried telling the principal that I started it...The principal told him that James would not do anything like that. He is a good kid. About 6 months later, the kid was climbing over my fence, so that he could steal an orange from us. When I saw that, I went out and kicked his ass, all over the yard.http://www.websmileys.com/sm/fingers/fing23.gif.

In Middle School:
I was picked on, because I was the shy, somewhat fat kid. One day, I had enough from this one who always, would call me gay, and just made my life hell. It was after lunch, when we were going down the same hallway. I was up in front trying to get to my class. He came running up, and I knew he was there without looking. The second that he got by my side, I grabbed him, and slammed him to the wall, and I was holding him against the wall. I told him never to F**K with me again. He stopped after that. I met one of my buddies in Wood Shop. He was the person that everyone picked on. I never really talked to him before hand. But one day, I was helping him with his project, and the assholes took it from him. I told them, that they better leave him alone, or I would beat the sh*t out of them. They left him alone right after that.

In High School:
I was basically the outsider, so were my friends. But we were still doing things like DX. When I was in weight training class, I had this one kid, who was Border Line M.R. Well one day after class. As I was walking to my other class, that kid came running up, and punched me. I thought "Ohhh hell no". I took running after him, caught up with him, and pushed him into the wall. He wanted to fight me, right then right there. So he went to punch me, and I ducked back, and then I kicked him in the nuts. Then I went and told the teacher about it, and filed an report on him. He got expelled. After that no one messed with me, only family did and still does. Oh when I kicked him in the nuts, I meant to kick him in the shin, so I could push him down, but my "aim" was off:D.

[Dreamstalker]

Grade school was fine (in my one year in Catholic school I was beloved by the second-graders as I was the only one who wanted to read to them after lunch) until we moved here from VT in 6th grade. There was a gang of about 4 boys who would tease and harass me endlessly for no discernible reason (maybe because I was the lone girl in the A/V club, maybe cause I was shy and bookish...dunno). When I came home crying after it crossed the line into sexual harassment, my mom showed me how to fight :D The next time one of the jerks went for me, I laid him out on the ground with a bloody nose and the other three ran.

Guess who got hauled into the principal and threatened with suspension? That was only resolved by a threat from my mom to sue the school for allowing sexual harassment (they damn sure knew about this from day one, just because it started out as garden-variety bullying didn't mean they didn't have a responsibility).

After graduation, one of the kids got arrested for shoplifting (felony), and another got hauled in for throwing rocks at a cop. A third was going to attend high school along with the rest of the class :eek: , but wound up in juvie hall shortly before the school year started.

High school was generally OK; you had your usual cliques and backstabbing, but nobody wanted to mess with the theater techies for some strange reason :devil: Yeah, so we wore black and carried multitools. I was also something of a gothling in those days. I guess the bullying was via a few teachers (one--after telling me that I would finish the year with a B--failed me for no reason and refused to change the grade, a second couldn't believe that a C student could work her ass off and get an A on the final and claimed I cheated).

My HS also had a handful of kids that not even the "disturbed youth" school would take...that was scary.

[Crazeyal]

.

To this day I have trust issues. I keep to myself, am extraordinarily introverted, and have few friends. I have to take antidepressants to control my mood swings. I have nothing to do with any kind of class reunions. Those people wouldn't give me the time of day back then, and they probably won't now. I can only hope that someone has hurt them as much as they hurt me.

Look..

BEEN there.

I was a sort of pariah, and it was all seemingly due to my NAME. Ray rhymes with Gay. BFD, right? So it was a nickname from 5th grade, until one of my supposed friends looks it up and reads the definition just to harass me. The whole room went silent when the description of Homosexual was read off.

I didn't get much peace after that.

Thing was... Even though it was a select few who picked on me, I took it. Tried fighting back. Tried weightlifting. Tried Martial arts. Sucked at all of em.

The real problem, it turned out.. was ME! I let it bother me, and I let it be KNOWN it bothered me. Even though I tried sports, after school activities and Theatre, I let the bad times get to me and my self image. I felt worthless, so I projected that.

When the popularity awards came around, I didn't even bother voting. The awards were just something to fill the Yearbook. That was a world I wasn't allowed in. "Popularity?" that was for everyone else.. why would I bother even voting?

I won two of them.

Most Dramatic
Most Individual

I had THOUGHT I was universally ignored, despised or hated. I missed out on Homecoming (where I heard they chanted my name when I won) and Prom, because I let my (wrong)opinions of what others thought affect ME.

I've since gained a good deal of self respect and composure. I don't have many true friends, but I have a good many acquaintances. The way you describe your life is painful to read, because it could have been me. You CAN'T let other people ruin your life for you. Since you are on anti-depressants, I assume you've already seen a professional.

All I can add is that attitude and outlook can change your life. If you let things bother you, they WILL.

[protege]

For the most part, people tend to leave me alone. Maybe because I give off a "don't fuck with me attitude" or maybe it's because I'd work on the cars in the driveway. Or, it might have to do with me bashing a scrap computer to bits in the driveway...with a 40-pound fence maul :devil:

[Acolyte]

I lucked out with respect to bullying-even though I was the quintessential kinda-chubby dorky kid up until about...well, 4 years ago (I've since gotten into pretty good shape, although I'm definitely still on the geeky end of the scale:rolleyes:), I was never bullied. Probably because I was in the same group of 40-or-so people up until grade 9 (The French Immersion class-we had the exact same classes until grade 9 and were a pretty close group overall).

When I got into high school, I became one of the computer/stage geeks and, for some reason, nobody really messes with us. Maybe it's the whole black-and-tool-carrying bit.

Although, I have an entertaining story of come-uppance here. I was in high school for one year up here getting some extra courses, and knew of this poor kid who was constantly bullied. I knew him and had seen him around the school and the gaming store and whatnot, but didn't know him that well. However, he was tormented endlessly by this gang of guys-beaten, abused, everything.
Well, last day of school, he 'borrowed' his Dad's pickup-complete with giant snowplow-and turned the lead bully's car into scrap. It was all caught on camera but, surprisingly, they, *ahem* 'Couldn't identify the driver'.

[Boozy]

Or, it might have to do with me bashing a scrap computer to bits in the driveway...with a 40-pound fence maul

You have lived the dream of pissed-off computer users everywhere, good sir.

[Broomjockey]

Elementary wasn't too bad, as my mother was the school librarian (which raised its own issues, but that's neither here nor there). Worst was one kid challenged me to a fight in kindergarten (No clue why) so I hit him in the nose with the heel of my hand and dropped him. Walked away without looking back.

Junior High was less fun. A kid in the "slower" class picked on me all three years, and got his friends in on the act. My ex-friend and I had our first seperation after he made comments about my weight in a crowded hallway to impress his classmates (he was a grade higher than me), and various mental abuse, even from one of my teachers. That was a real low point. Only thing that saved me was band class.

High School, I had gym class with the kid from Jr. High. He decided to continue his pattern of abuse. Finally, that winter we were doing passing drills for football in the gym, and he was in the line behind me. He started in on me, standard insults, stuff like "Gaylord", I was ignoring him. Then he flicked the back of my ear. Hard. I'm pretty sure it was the first time he'd crossed to physical abuse. I snapped. Without thinking, I turned around, hooked his leg out from under him and threw him to the ground. I still have no clue how I kept from just kicking him until something broke. I then went over to the teacher (who was also my band teacher for H.S.) and asked if I could go run laps because I was shaking. He just told me to get back in line. Nothing ever happened to me, and he never said anything to my face, though I was later told they still bad mouthed me in the change room when I wasn't there.

[Aldous]

Being an intellectual, I'm pretty much on a deserted Island when it comes to school. I have 5 friends, all outcasts. No one talks to me, I'm left alone, and when I talk to the class I get those whispers from the girls, and the guys look at me like they want to rip my head off. Now people don't make fun of me to my face (I wanted to become a detective, so I read books on killers during school, people don't screw with the insane) but yeah, I knew that I was basically outcasted. Then there were the ballsy people who apparently didn't hear that I have a Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, and decide to start crap physically. I was in the Hospital, because of a serious paranoia attack, I was convinced that everyone in the school was out to get me, and the rumors were built to the sky. First was that I was in rehab, then I was in jail for something. I hated the people I went to school with, part of the reason we moved was because I hated everyone. Even in grade school people would stay away from me. So because of this I've told all my therapists when we get on this subject "It's not that I'm anti-social, it's just that it seems that society is Anti-Me" I've grown used to the solitude because of it, and now I can't join groups, and I have to be alone. Where I've moved it's such a small community, where everyone knows everyone else, it's really a culture shock to go from being wanted dead (I got a few of those letters in Freshman year, as well as being jumped by two gang-bager wanna-be's) to people actually wanting to work with me.
Here's the best part of any bullying topic for my story. My freshman health teacher flat out denied that Bullying has anything to do with Teen Suicide, or the Collumbine Massacre. Yeah, that teacher and I really got along that year. He turned the class on me until I said "Until you are pushed to the edge by your peers, to the point where it's going to be them or you, and you really consider it, then keep your f***ing mouth shut" He was shocked I said that.

[iradney]

I've never really been bullied. In elementary school I was the typical geek - think Princess Dairies - braces, glasses, bushy hair, nose in a book. Luckily I had a group of friends that liked me for who I am, and didn't care that I wasn't into boys (hello? i'm ELEVEN!), and that I enjoyed reading Enid Blyton.

High school, I was pretty much invisible till 10th grade. Then I became the loud, out-going, foot-in-mouth person that I am today. People liked me coz I didn't take shit from the A crowd, and didn't allow bullying to go on around me. We didn't really have many phsyical bullying incidents in my school (coz you got thrown in if you were the bully), but quite a bit of psychological bullying. When you watch enough Monty Python, you can cut someone down quite efficiently :D

[Velfarre2001]

I was bullied a bit in high School, not so much until that point, since even though I was the quiet, shy, smart, techy kind of guy, I mostly kept to myself and didn't give two shits what other people said, so anyone who tried bugging me usually gave up when it didn't phase me no matter what they said, and no one ever escalated to violence.

Then in High School I pissed some jackass in one of my classes off when he was being rude and ignorant, and he got his two friends to start in on me. I ignored them, walked away from them, and generally that seemed to piss them off even more. Then one day while walking away, one of them ran up and tackled me into the wall from behind, and.... well.... I just kind of snapped. I grabbed my heavy bag with my heavy books and without even thinking I smashed his head in.

Long story short, I didn't get in trouble, neither did the assholes, and from that point it was mostly calm between us.

The other time was I had finished my work in science class ahead of time and was exhausted, so I put my head down for a rest, next thing I know I lift my head and see a lit bunsen burner in front of me. Apparently the teacher thought it was funny, he didn't find it so funny when I doused him with a cup of water.

Again, nothing came of it either way.

One time with students, one time with a teacher, and mostly whatever for the rest.

*shrug*

[coldcupofjoe]

I hate to admit it, but I was one of the bullies when I was in Jr. High. I was an asshole up until I got my first job. I realized just how bad it was for the people who had to put up with me all the time when I started having to put up with people worse then me all the time.

[Crazeyal]

Well, having you admit it means you have come a long way. A few decades ago, I would have thrown much hate your way, simply because you were one of "them"...

The more I learn about people, the more I realize that most problems come from a lack of percpetion and empathy. Sure there are cruel and nasty people, but a good deal of them are decent enough if you get to know them. They just have to get past being a dick.

Glad you got over it.

;)

[protege]

You have lived the dream of pissed-off computer users everywhere, good sir.

Hehe it's great! Not only do you get to let off some steam, but you get a nice workout too! I should mention that when I do that, I remove the power supplies, circuit boards, and drives first. I don't like cleaning up shards of fiberglass. What's left is held together with the cheapest screws I can find...usually the ones that held the boards and stuff in the first place. I do that, so things don't go flying after the first whack :)

[ThePhoneGoddess]

This thread reminds me that bullying is much more widespread that people want to think it is.

I got bullied in elementary school really bad. I remember learning the word 'scapegoat' in sixth grade vocab and having an epiphany...that's what I was. The kids in my school blamed everything on me.

I got picked on because I was, in all honesty, a really funny looking kid. I was waaaay skinny, my lips are naturally a dark red color and my skin VERY fair (so everyone always asked my Mom if I was wearing lipstick...yeah. Lipstick at 4 years old. :rolleyes: ) and my eyes were way too big for my head. I have really intense eyes. People sometimes flinch when I turn my gaze on them, even friends. My friends tell me it feels like I'm looking straight into their heart, and it's very unsettling. They've learned to just ask me nicely to 'tone it down' because a lot of times I don't realize I do it. I did this even as a kid, and it freaked people out. Also, I walked funny...I wiggled my hips strangely and the kids were MERCILESS about it. I was made fun of for being too ugly and too smart.

Of course, the kicker---I went from elementary school to junior high, and that summer I hit puberty. I shot up several inches and developed a perfect hourglass figure, which I still possess. 38C--23-38, baby! My Mother had to buy me a whole new wardrobe because nothing fit anymore, it was that sudden. When I went to the 7th grade, it was like stepping through the looking glass, seriously. All the guys that picked on me couldn't talk to me anymore, they would stutter when they tried, and the girls who had picked on me were very intimidated and gave me a wide berth. The junioe high was much bigger, and kids from several elementary schools all went there together. I found out later that the kids who had been in my elementary school were being quizzed by the kids from the other schools about me.

I am not as fabulously self-assured as Blas is, so it's weird for me to type this, but I am considered to be very physically attractive as an adult. Or so I would gather from the amount of attention I receive in public places, from both men and women. Women sometimes stare at me; when I stare back, they often get uncomfortable, and some of them will apologize and tell me they didn't realize they were staring, but they were struck by how striking I am. Which of course makes me blush furiously. :ashamed: And I still wiggle my ass when I walk, but now it gets me a totally different kind of attention. :lol:



I hope this doesn't sound too whiny, but it is hard to be very attractive and very eccentric. Typical people don't know how to react to someone like that. Some people resent me, and basically make me feel like I don't have the right to be so weird. As though only normal people are allowed to be attractive. :rolleyes: This place is a great refutation of that. I think this is part of the reason I dress so weird, to enforce my eccentric personality outside of my head and make people aware of it as soon as they lay eyes on me.

Other people try very hard to be my friend simply because I get a lot of attention and they think it might rub off on them, or make them look more attractive by being next to me. People that I wouldn't expect are sometimes almost too nice to me, and I have to step back and look at them with a very critical eye, wondering if they are just trying to suck up to me, or if they really do find me interesting to be around. It sucks having those moments of distrust toward friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and sometiems even relatives.

ok, whine over.

[protege]

I hope this doesn't sound too whiny, but it is hard to be very attractive and very eccentric. Typical people don't know how to react to someone like that. Some people resent me, and basically make me feel like I don't have the right to be so weird.

As someone who is "naturally goofy," and has taken *lots* of abuse because of it...people suck. Most of them are just jealous that I'm not afraid that I choose to be myself...and not fit into the mold of what I'm "supposed" to be. In other words, I am what I am. Don't like it? Tough shit :devil:

I've also heard that people are different on the web versus real life. Well, *most* people anyway--I'm just as goofy in real life...ask anyone who has met me ;)

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I like goofy people, protege. They're entertaining. In fact I am quite goofy inside, and when I'm with my family, my sister and I are HORRIBLY goofy together in public. We have great fun that way. I actually love being a big dork, it's fun.

Oh, and you are right. People DO suck.

[Fawn]

At one point I actually bullied someone when I was in grade 3-4.. it was just a thing I did because my friend did it. Then my friend went off to another school and I became the bullied person. I was ignored and called names behind my back. I had no friends in grade 7-8. The kid I bullied never let it down either. He would come up to me every once in while and tell me all about it. I sad I was sorry a bunch of times... I was young and barely remembered it to begin with, but it stayed with him.

Throughout highschool I was bullied to a point that I went into depression/anxiety disorder and dropped out. I went to a vocational school that had kids the were pregnant or hated school. I got along with them well and managed to get one credit there. I went back to school after that. I basically gave up all the friends I made at the start of highschool. Its not like they actually liked me to begin with. I moved on to several groups it seems. My last semester there seemed to be my best.. no more bullying and having friends that actually cared. To bad that survived through college. I don't have friends now (expect online ones) and I had a nervous breakdown.

The only happiness I have is the fact that the person that bullied me has been in Jail for a very long time.

[NoodleBoy]

I was bullied basically throughout my entire childhood. Never had much friends, never got used to being alone, never got used to being bullied.

It mostly stopped in high school when I got weird. I started listening to metal alot, wore the band t-shirts with bloody skulls, grew my hair out, etc., and developed a really weird humor, to the point where if anyone tried to make fun of me I'd react in the creepiest way possible. My favorite was when some idiot would say something stupid and think it was funny--like, "you got long hair! har har," I'd laugh along with them, then louder than them, longer than them, until I was laying on the floor cackling, or jumping really close in their faces. It was fun seeing them react. Mostly by running away.

Funny thing is, that was when people thought I'd do something really fucked up like actually kill people, but it was before, when I was still a repressed just-out-of-private-catholic-school skinny white kid, that I was probably more likely to do anything like that.

Since college it's been weird for me. Once in a while I'll see the guys who tormented me in grade school, and it turns out I'm now slightly taller than them, even though I'm not that tall, with a little more muscle. I usually just brush them off, or get really close into their personal space if I see them, then keep walking. If they want to start shit now, when I could take them down, I wouldn't stop them.

I've still got issues from being picked on, mostly it's being comfortable around groups of people, and reassuring myself that they're not talking about me behind my back or secretly making fun of me. It really has not happened, although there is one person who's in the same circles as I am who acts as though they never left high school and will treat the shyer or less well-connected people in the group pretty badly, setting them up to be humiliated and etc. I'd like to say that one day they'll get what's coming to them and be in the position of disliked outcast, but that rarely happens. All the more reason to avoid that person, and not take part in their games when it's not possible.

Anyway, the one thing that I learned from getting picked on that no one ever taught me was when it happens, to give it back. When shit like that happens to me--and, being in college now, it rarely does--shutting people down quickly is the best way to deal with anything.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I was when I was very little.

Then I got to be about ten, developed my well-known temper, and the rest is history.

I sort of became a bully-bully, though. If I caught you picking on someone else, you would learn what pain truly was for the better part of a month or so. Fireants are very effective weapons :devil:

[Princess-Snake]

Yeah, I got picked on in middle school. Most of them were male. It got up to a point where I'd just had enough and started hissing at all the guys like a damn cobra. They backed away. I was a strange child back then. Hell, I still am. Even the teachers questioned my sanity. To go a bit :ot: I remember that before school started, I was drawing on the teacher's chalkboard when he wasn't there. He came back unexpectedly and I was looking for a place to hide. The school really didn't have walls between the classrooms. Just little dry marker boards to seperate them. So, I ducked under one of the boards into another classroom. The teacher in that classroom was grading papers at the time and saw this girl with a backpack on wheels duck into her class. I hurridly told her, "You never saw me" and ran out of the room backpack and all leaving her thinking :wtf:
Another time, a teacher stole my backpack on wheels and rolled it around the school with me chasing after him. My friends were in Spanish class and they saw me through the window. They said it was like a yellow and pink blur going right past them. The picture eventually ended up in the yearbook. If you're wondering what I was doing skipping class, I was excused from gym for the whole school year and was just teasing and taunting this teacher because I had nothing better to do and he didn't have a class at the moment. He eventually got tired of running with my backpack and placed it on a high shelf where I couldn't reach it. So, I spent the rest of the period trying to gain sub-human climbing powers and trying to get my backpack. Oh, and while all this was going on, all the classrooms we passed by were laughing and shaking their heads in disbelief. The teachers just rolled their eyes and muttered to themselves, "Same old, same old. Just when I think that kid can't get any weirder. Where's my damn aspirin?"

[ReverendBSB]

I got teased a lot, but I was always a fighter so any kind of physical bullying would result in me beating the crap out of someone. Great story, in seventh grade there were two guys who always gave me crap in art class. This day I had brought in a WW 1 army helmet for social studies class. In art class we were doing self portraits so I decided to do one of myself wearing it. Now there was no ad inside, just a large bolt. Well these two guys walk behind me, and decide it would be funny to slam the top of the helmet. It hurt bad, and cut the top of my head. Well I got really mad, took the helmet off and started beating them with it. Everyone just watched shocked as I beat up two eighth grades, then started laughing as they fell to the ground in fetal positions crying. I didnt get into too much trouble, and those two guys were real polite to me for the rest of the year.

An old friend of mine loves to tell this story, from eighth grade. I was just sitting in class and this guy I had no problem with just comes up to me and punches me. I stood up and made to hit him, he cried " I was only kidding, please dont!" Everyone in class had a good laugh at him.

I was not physically intimidating though, and I was a geek before geeks became cool. So I was constantly teased and verbally abused. Its a wonder with my temper I never did anything worse than break someones arm with a desk. My dad had plenty of guns, if he had been a slack parent like the ones today I might have ended up predating Columbine by a few years.